I sell copies of my book every month, hallelujah. So where’s my $27.69 from last month’s sales? The price of *quinoa just went up and I need Halloween socks, a disposable rain bonnet, and some Limited Edition Pop Tarts.
Amazon was supposed to shoot this money over to my account. I wish they’d hurry up–it’s Pop Tarts LI-MI-TED Edition! By the time I get my money, the damn things won’t be in the supermarket anymore.
*For those of you who don’t give a shit, quinoa (pronounced: keen-wah) is a healthy ‘super-food’ that tastes like ass-crack. It costs a lot of money but I could probably grow it on my fire escape.