Ass-Crack, Anyone?

Published December 4, 2012 by Sandee

Me in the merry merry month of May

I sell copies of my book every month, hallelujah.  So where’s my $27.69 from last month’s sales?  The price of *quinoa just went up and I need Halloween socks, a disposable rain bonnet, and some Limited Edition Pop Tarts.

Amazon was supposed to shoot this money over to my account.  I wish they’d hurry up–it’s Pop Tarts LI-MI-TED Edition!  By the time I get my money, the damn things won’t be in the supermarket anymore.

*For those of you who don’t give a shit, quinoa (pronounced:  keen-wah) is a healthy ‘super-food’ that tastes like ass-crack.  It costs a lot of money but I could probably grow it on my fire escape.

41 comments on “Ass-Crack, Anyone?

    • I knew we’d see eye to eye on Pop Tarts! And to me life generally doesn’t make sense, so I like to eat in a way that doesn’t make sense, it’s a statement on my reflection of the business of not making sense.

      • I am quite partial to the cinnamon frosted variety myself.. and yes frosted is the only way to go. Keen-wah? Gack…why would you put that in your mouth? 🙂

  • I have been known to trip up people in the supermarket that try to cut in front of me as I reach for that box of Frosted Blueberry Pop-Tarts..I actually had to detox off them last year as I was eating them everyday and my lips were turning purple 🙂

    • I guess I’ll eat anything that they say is good for you — even if it makes me cringe. Actually the way I make quinoa is pretty good. It has such a flat taste that you could dress it up without any interference.

        • It’s so easy — I make a huge pot at the beginning of the week with sauteed onions, put some spices in there and some beans and tomato sauce and honey and eat it every day with steamed vegetables or a piece of fish — it’s good for me because I don’t have time to cook and really, I’m not a big fan of food though you could never tell by looking at me as I’m average weight. You’d think I’d be thinner — all I really like eating is cake and candy — but I’m good about rationing it since it’s like drugs to me.

          • Well, as I tell my boys, we wouldn’t fuel our gas tanks with soda, so we shouldn’t fuel our bodies with junk. Well, okay, a little junk is fine–I love my sweets–but you gotta have the good stuff, too.

            • That’s a good one Carrie — if you don’t mind I’d like to borrow this line to nag — I mean to remind my sister about the importance of feeding my nephews clean foods. My line has always been that I like to put premium gas in my car. I do believe in a balance however, meaning I don’t want to be too extreme either way.

    • Hehehehe — “Oppression.”

      Least he’s got consciousness about what bad food is — it amazes me sometimes the way people think it’s okay to eat crap on a regular basis.

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