I sell copies of my book every month, hallelujah. So where’s my $27.69 from last month’s sales? The price of *quinoa just went up and I need Halloween socks, a disposable rain bonnet, and some Limited Edition Pop Tarts.
Amazon was supposed to shoot this money over to my account. I wish they’d hurry up–it’s Pop Tarts LI-MI-TED Edition! By the time I get my money, the damn things won’t be in the supermarket anymore.
*For those of you who don’t give a shit, quinoa (pronounced: keen-wah) is a healthy ‘super-food’ that tastes like ass-crack. It costs a lot of money but I could probably grow it on my fire escape.
This Luddite figured out how to scan pictures into her computer – watch out now! Oh God what’s next? Maybe I’ll use my stagnating twitter account.
Yes they are low quality images, but you don’t mind because you understand that I am handicapped when it comes to technology. These pictures go back between 7 and 17 years ago. The ones on the left are a montage that I sent with my manuscript a while back because I was too cheap to spend money on a head shot — no that’s a lie — I didn’t have any goddamned money! It might have been a mistake to send them this. I’m quite sure it’s why they didn’t publish my work.
At the top left is me as Roy Orbison at Niagara Falls – we had a kick-ass time! I wore those clothes everyday.
The NY State ID will be renewed in two years. By that time, I’ll have an old lady picture to replace it. Shit, I thought I was old then. Bahaha! Fuck that! I’ll be 50 in November and I’m damn proud to be a woman of a certain age. Bahaha!
At the bottom left is a Polaroid taken by a man on 125th Street in Harlem. The motherfucker just started snapping pictures of me out of the blue. I told him to hand them over as I didn’t want my head photo shopped onto a naked body.
Me Mummy took the picture of me at bottom right in the family graveyard in Cross roads Virginia. I’m between Grandma Z and her sister Auntie Connie. I’d like to get my filmmaker brother out there to do a zombie movie with me as the star zombie. It’s creepy around those parts.
[Sing along now!] It’s fun to share pictures, share pictures, share pictures, it’s nice to share pictures in the blogosphere with frieeeeeeeeeeeeeennds…