Delusions

A stupid setting in my brain gets me to believing that Prince and I would have been compatible lovers. I’ve had a couple of “encounters” with known musicians. One guy almost got up to my apartment, but I had another guy living here and had promised to make him dinner, so it didn’t happen.

I believe that something like this could have happened with Prince. My girl, also a huge Prince fan, says, “Keep hallucinating.” Ha! It’s part of my pain now – that he would have been accessible but now he’s not here.

He was four years older than me, just like a couple of my boyfriends growing up and some of the dudes who were interested in me back then – those photos of Prince in the 70s with that blow-out ‘fro — they remind me of the brothers from my neighborhood. There were a few of those short guys in our neighborhood – like Prince – and they were mackin’ hard. I know those short guys like that – they can be slick as hell. Prince evolved from that brother-from-the-hood style, but it remained part of his swagger.

Because he was fearless, he did what he wanted to do and everybody was cool with it. I was heavily influenced by rock ‘n roll later in high school so I was ready for Prince on that level. We also probably had some of the same wild ideas about sex.

In reality, he dated mixed, light-skinned, and white women, which I don’t have issue with. But would I have been his type? Paha! Not to mention he was well beyond those crazy days that I hallucinate about — see where this is going.

This lover that I’ve concocted from the Prince persona does not exist, which makes it an interesting study. It’s a figment of my imagination.

More will be revealed. Thus far, I’ve thought about the difficulties certain people in the industry have with personal relationships, icons particularly. I’ve done some dime store psychology on the Prince situation. What compelled him and why? What fueled his fire? – oh but my God he was hot as hell. Check out his “Head” video from ’86 — or when Mel B interviewed him at Paisley Park and he’s in complete “bedroom voice” (I got agitated just typing that).

All that hotness exploding out into the stratosphere might cost you crucial elements on a terrestrial level, just saying. This is the energy from him that’s reverberating here causing my delusions, I’m sure. So, we’ll see how this thing plays out. Thank y’all for listening — oh but for real – my phone’s ringing just now — and my ring tone — the Prince wail from “Do Me Baby.”

Head Banger Chopping Off Heads

 

I read an interview featuring Glen Benton of Deicide on the MetalSucks blog.  I’ve been a death metal fan for a long time, but I’m still a little superstitious about groups who wear upside down crosses (There is a group called Upside Down Cross that I really like.), and claim to be satanists and stuff like that. Glen Benton had an upside down cross burned into his forehead.  I had one of Deicide’s albums, went through a phase where I thought the energy was too dark and stopped listening to it.  I had also stopped listening to my Morbid Angel album because of the anti-Christ thing.  And I’m not religious in the least, though I am spiritual, which I hate to say because it’s a common thing to say.  I said that these groups gave me the heebie jeebies because of superstition about the dark energy, but really, I just wondered about people who were religious in this upside down kind of way, and if they really espoused evil.  If so, I don’t think that’s very nice – this is the bottom line I suppose, about my shying away from them.

I have death metal programmed on my internet radio station and they play Deicide’s Confessional Rape.  The song rejuvenates the shit out of me.  It makes me imagine myself riding a black horse through the forest at a furious speed, while chopping off the heads of my enemies with a scythe.  OMG am I espousing evil!?  The song has nothing to do with this kind of imagery however.  I wonder if I’m too old for this shit.  I went to an Obituary concert two years ago and had a stiff neck for two days from banging my head.