lust

All posts tagged lust

Delusions

Published June 2, 2016 by Sandee

A stupid setting in my brain gets me to believing that Prince and I would have been compatible lovers. I’ve had a couple of “encounters” with known musicians. One guy almost got up to my apartment, but I had another guy living here and had promised to make him dinner, so it didn’t happen.

I believe that something like this could have happened with Prince. My girl, also a huge Prince fan, says, “Keep hallucinating.” Ha! It’s part of my pain now – that he would have been accessible but now he’s not here.

He was four years older than me, just like a couple of my boyfriends growing up and some of the dudes who were interested in me back then – those photos of Prince in the 70s with that blow-out ‘fro — they remind me of the brothers from my neighborhood. There were a few of those short guys in our neighborhood – like Prince – and they were mackin’ hard. I know those short guys like that – they can be slick as hell. Prince evolved from that brother-from-the-hood style, but it remained part of his swagger.

Because he was fearless, he did what he wanted to do and everybody was cool with it. I was heavily influenced by rock ‘n roll later in high school so I was ready for Prince on that level. We also probably had some of the same wild ideas about sex.

In reality, he dated mixed, light-skinned, and white women, which I don’t have issue with. But would I have been his type? Paha! Not to mention he was well beyond those crazy days that I hallucinate about — see where this is going.

This lover that I’ve concocted from the Prince persona does not exist, which makes it an interesting study. It’s a figment of my imagination.

More will be revealed. Thus far, I’ve thought about the difficulties certain people in the industry have with personal relationships, icons particularly. I’ve done some dime store psychology on the Prince situation. What compelled him and why? What fueled his fire? – oh but my God he was hot as hell. Check out his “Head” video from ’86 — or when Mel B interviewed him at Paisley Park and he’s in complete “bedroom voice” (I got agitated just typing that).

All that hotness exploding out into the stratosphere might cost you crucial elements on a terrestrial level, just saying. This is the energy from him that’s reverberating here causing my delusions, I’m sure. So, we’ll see how this thing plays out. Thank y’all for listening — oh but for real – my phone’s ringing just now — and my ring tone — the Prince wail from “Do Me Baby.”

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I wondered if you would be coming back.

Published August 13, 2013 by Sandee

darkpassage

I listened, absorbed into her situation, isolating myself from anything else surrounding me.  Normally I’d have an internal fit at the audacity of a woman hijacking my time and space.  The appeal of her energy flow was the generous spirit, despite her speaking of herself.  She had an immediate issue, and the anonymity of my being a stranger made an easier release.  She asked about me. I answered briefly and urged her to continue.

I could have stood there and listened forever how long.  She told me that her daughter said that she needed to do something about her tits.  I disagreed.  Her figure was appealing, and that was inspiring because she was older than me.  She smelled delightful and her teeth were good.  To write of it now stirs me beyond lust.  I imagined following her around — listening more.

She touched my arm here and there.  If she had kissed me, as strange as that might be, I would have suggested that we exchange phone numbers.

When she left, I couldn’t focus.

I wondered if you would be coming back to tell me more about Israel and your daughter in the Israeli army.