I love my relatives and friends, and I am grateful to have them, but I prefer not visiting them on Thanksgiving. I don’t need to get into that old ass argument about what the holiday really means, because really who gives a fuck. Everybody wants food, and everybody wants a holiday. Period. So it’s not going away, despite periodic bleatings of ‘protest’ – something about the Native Americans giving the gift of corn to the white man, who pays him back disproportionately in mass murder.
Thanksgiving exhausts me. You wind up traveling fifty-hundred hours to grandma’s house, over the river and through the woods. You get there and it’s hot as hell from all the burners going, and this makes me sluggish, as the winter boots, socks and sweater that I wore to keep me warm on the way are totally superfluous at this point.
The worst part of it is the food. You can’t tell by looking at me, but I don’t really like food. I’m still waiting for those food pills of the future from the Jetsons to be invented. Food has too many demands. I hate having to stop what I’m doing to eat it, and I don’t like making a big deal out of shopping, planning meals, cooking, washing dishes — I am a good baker though, and that’s because I like cake. It’s probably politically incorrect for me to say this but I don’t give a shit – generally, I’m afraid of food.
A hot house filled with the olfactory overload of food — jammed to the gills with all this stuff we don’t need to be eating, gives me complex feelings. Really on Thanksgiving, under the guise of celebrating gratitude, we’re really celebrating gluttony. Thanksgiving is a ‘heavy’ holiday — the demands of travel, the heat of the burners and oven filling the house, the exhaustion from watching the host bust their ass sweating and carrying all those trays, the claustrophobia you get from the excess of food filling every crack and crevice, having to help the host clear the table and wash dishes — having to rush back home again because the next day I usually have to go to work; and finally, going to bed with a bloated gut.
In conclusion, I hope that this post doesn’t cause my loved ones to disinvite me to Thanksgiving dinner.
1800ukillme 
So you’re a turkey Scrooge, huh? Wish I was. It would save me a lot of calories…
I love that phrase Carrie! I’m a Grinch too. I read my nephews “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and even startled myself with the passion I had in my voice while reading the Grinch’s lines — haha! — I had such sympatico for his character.
That’s what makes you so cool. A cool non-conformist, that’s what you are. 🙂
Aw thanks Carrie!
~sigh~ you captured the essence of how I feel as well. While I am not afraid of food – and I love cooking… I am afraid of other people’s version of Gluten Free….
BUT that is neither here nor there…. IT IS a GLUTTONOUS holiday – done in purely American GLUTTONOUS consumerism style. Lets stop making a big production out of it… lets get back to the basics…
Lets share a simple meal…. lets be Thankful… AND lets stay out of all the stores that are going to be open for business on Thanksgiving! (Ok I will get off my soapbox now)
“Other people’s version of Gluten Free” — wow — now that’s something for me to ponder! Yup, the consumerism lifestyle comes to mind. No — please stay on the soapbox — hahaha! I love it!
It truly is a scary thing…. that whole Gluten Free thing… my mom was going to stuff the turkey…. and thought I should be ok…. I would have spent the entire next day sick….
🙂
This is going to be my first gluten free/dairy free Thanksgiving. I am paralyzed. I don’t know what to make, but at least I’ll be making it, so I’ll know what’s what. I feel your pain Tham. Oh, and Sandee, another great one. You rock.
Aw thanks Fish! I hope it all turns out okay whatever you make…
Ah fish, right back at ya.
Its tough… Tradional stuffing is out…. Stiffing the turkey for your guests is out…. Bah!
Why’s life have to be so complicated — hahaha!
No cream and butter in my mashed potatoes. No green bean casserole. Campbell’s cream of mushroom has gluten. Oy.
it is cruel and unusual punishment… this no gluten thing… and all the desserts we have to watch everyone else eat…. AGH! (I must confess… I am going to try and make a GF pumpkin pie)….
I have tried many cake recipes and only found one that I like. I’ve not ventured into pie crust territory. I hope it works out.
thanks! I hope so too…. almond and hazelnut meal is expensive!
Yeah Serena, it’s touching the way people want to cater to you but I suppose you have to watch out huh. I’m glad you didn’t wind up sick.
Seriously…it can be a crapshoot
YOUR DIS-IN-VITED!!!!!!!!! I was gonna serve McDonalds!!!! They will be open at 6am. Teehee
I mean, you’re!!!!
LMAO!!!!
Oh don’t go try changing it like you meant to type ‘you’re’ 😀
Ahahahahaha! Bummy! I’ll be over at eight.
It is a relief to know that I am not the only one who loathes the holiday season in general. I always feel vaguely like the antichrist about this stuff but really, probably most people feel this way. They just don’t have the guts to express their feelings like we do. (I hope my mom doesn’t read your blog!:) )
Bises,
Dawn
Yes! That’s it — ‘the antichrist’ — I remember once on my way to the family’s for dinner and a song by a group called ‘upside down cross’ came on. And it really gave me some relief at the stress I felt on that x-mas holiday. Oh geez — I hope your mom doesn’t read it either — hahaha! My mom is already resigned about my point-of-view 🙂
I am sending you Pre-Thanksgiving courage across the ocean blue. 🙂 Here they don’t have Thanksgiving so I have plenty of time to build up a good Christmas Anxiety Attack. 🙂
Good Lord Dawn — I just imagine spending allll that time building up for x-mas! It would make me want to shoot myself in the head. I’ll take that courage, thank you!
Sandee, you say what we all feel! Ha ha. I’m reminded of the time that I slaved over a Thanksgiving dinner for hours and hours and when it came time to eat it, it took me all of ten minutes and I was done! And, I didn’t want it or like it. I’d rather have sushi on Thanksgiving. I don’t even really like all this stuff. In the end, you just feel sick and overstuffed. Although, I really do like the pie!
Oh me too! I love pie! I told my friend when she comes back from visiting her family out of state, I’m bringing a nice cherry pie to her house for us to eat. But I like sweet potato pie, apple pie…. mmmm…
That first paragraph made me choke on my wine, so funny!
I feel the same about Christmas, especially when, like here in the UK it starts mid October, ends 1 week into January and everyone wonders why they put so much weight on. It’s because you’ve been eating mince pies and Quality Street since September dipshit, that’s why!
So expensive, so much time on the motorway, so much buying stuff for people you don’t particularly like, and so pudgy at the end of it, bah humbug x 2! 😉
I’m glad I could get you to laugh! I hope you enjoyed the wine! Yes I hate x-mas too. And it always baffles me how people are flummoxed about how they got fat — hahahaha!
Please don’t hate me, Sandee, but I don’t mind the holidays and I do make a conscious effort not to eat myself into oblivion. Yet, even thought I eat less than ever, I weigh more than ever thanks to the advent of middle age weight gain. I spend Turkey Day with friends and Xmas with family. No one in either circle is sappy. There’s a lot of snark and humor. My family lives on the West Coast so it’s one of the few times where we get together — and we’re lucky for we get on well. It’s also a time of year where I get to take time off from The Grind. Recently, I purchased a spin bike. I intend to ride that mofo like the wind starting in January to offset my middle age weight gain in time for my mini milestone birthday in May. Weighing less as I climb higher up The Hill will make that milestone seem like less of a millstone. So I guess I’m suggesting that you if you live across the country and make plans, you’ll get through it with most of your sanity intact. Also, if you shop, shop online. I only go to the store for basics at this time of year. One last bit of advice: if you haven’t already seen it, I have two holiday film suggestions if “It’s a Wonderful Life” makes you want to dig out your eyeballs as it makes me want to dig out mine: “Bad Santa” and “Rare Exports” — the latter one is a wild Christmas tale from Finland. You might like it. It’s very different.
Hmmm… Thanks for recommending Rare Exports — I think I might have to check that out! Oh girl, I’m in your same boat with the food — eating less but still gaining — ugh! Actually I finally lost weight while working as a tour guide at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, doing two 2 hour tours a night. I think the change in routine is what did it. But I’ll always have an adversarial relationship with food.
I’m glad to hear that you can enjoy the holidays with your friends and family — it’s a gift. A lot of people have miserable stories to report. I love my family a lot as well and have great times with them. It’s simply that I don’t like the pretense surrounding the holidays, because leave it up to me to make life a complicated thing.
I agree a “heavy holiday’:)
I start feeling weighed down as soon as Halloween’s over. The lightness comes for me again near the end of March.
Haha! “because really who gives a fuck. Everybody wants food, and everybody wants a holiday. Period.” So true!
I like the food. It gives you something to pretend to concentrate on during family drama.
That’s a good point. I suppose the food distraction thing doesn’t work for everyone — but maybe it’s because the food doesn’t taste very good. My paternal g’ma couldn’t cook worth a darn — admittedly, she didn’t like to cook. I’ve inherited that from her and some of her other off-the-wall qualities as well 😀