XXX

 

I hate the little twerp.  Sometimes.  It’s an interesting and stilted chemistry, so I’m baffled at the goodies he yields me, when he’s not there, for intervals of five minutes – bastard!  What a paradox.  That sexy prick.  The pheromonal reaction of our chemistry is involuntary.  But it doesn’t put me off.  I’m cool.  He won’t know.  There were guys who seemed perfect, but I had to force a reaction, and wound up thoroughly disappointed.

Deep incongruities between us keep a functional distance with regard to this issue.  There’s no way in Hades I could find myself emotionally dependent on him.  I don’t suffer from dilated pupils or rapid breathing around him; but I do harbor that affection that makes an episode like this partly possible.  I don’t actually need him in order to take care of my business.  The imagery he inspires is that cake in the refrigerator at home that I think of at work.  I come home and I kill it.