Come Hither

Published July 4, 2013 by Sandee

I don’t flirt usually unless I already know you.  If I flirt with a man I don’t know, it means I’m overpowered by chemistry.  I saw a man near Park Avenue once, and had an animal reaction.  I locked into him and shuddered a little.  He wasn’t conventionally handsome.  There was just something alpha about him.  He looked at me, and appeared to be nodding subtly to communicate that he understood my reaction — this is part of the reason I think he had alpha chemistry.  He might have been used to this reaction?

I probably flirt with girls more.  I used to be fearful of boys.  They fucked with me when I was sick in junior high school.  They were mean and teased me mercilessly because I was emaciated and flat-chested.  When I got out of the hospital after a month, and got meat on my bones, things changed.  They asked if I had been at the farm — haha!

I’m not a lesbian, but I used to like girls better.  I didn’t gush around boys, I tensed up.   I remember playing in the pool with some boys and girls.  The boys dunked the girls, and they giggled — squealed.  I was horrified.  They’d come at me and my eyes widened, and there would be no giggling — I scratched the shit out of them.  I was frightened of the water and the boys were so overpowering.

I was curious — and suspicious — about girlfriends who had ‘friendships’ with boys.  Although I had boyfriends, I didn’t care to just be hanging around dudes.  I cared about impressing them, but from a distance.

In my thirties, I relaxed, and allowed myself to be “friends” with a couple of guys.  But I knew it’d probably be bullshit.  I had a girlfriend who said she preferred male friends to women friends.  I asked if she was fucking those male “friends.”  “Well, yeah,” she said — hahahahaha!

I believed there would always be an underlying agenda with mixed sex friendships.  In most cases, both would probably need their sexuality validated in some way and that would negate the platonic part.  I wrote a brilliant novel with this premise, but it has yet to be recognized as such — ha!

So, I tried the platonic ‘thing’ with a guy.  We spent most of the time almost fucking, and actually did twice.  Finally I had to let him go.  He turned out to be dishonest.  It just confirmed my theory.  While I do call a few men ‘friends’, I still have difficulty with the concept.  But nowadays, I’m trying to understand men as fleshed out people, and I do like them, not that I ever did really dislike them.

Today I practiced flirting and it worked!  The guy just hung around, asking questions, blushing — ha — so cute!  I think I might be experimenting with this kind of thing more.  Too bad I’m all old and shit trying to do this now.  I’ll keep you posted.

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25 comments on “Come Hither

  • This cracks me up… I’m with you on this one. However…and I say this with enthusiasm… I think women who were left out of the initial dance when younger, become the perfect compliment for younger men as they mature…. I don’t know why, but it seems to work this way.

  • Ha, it was always like that with chemistry for me too, and whilst I still consider myself feminist, I (or my minnie) still love/s an alpha!

    I do have at least on platonic male friend, but he is v asexual so there has never been that vibe between us.

    And nowadays? Thanks to the big ‘M’ I rarely give enough of a fuck to bother messing with men, and don’t know if that’s sad or just a massive relief, but I’ll keep you posted on that 😉

  • I have always liked having men as friends. it has always seemed that I had more in common with them. But in a lot of cases, they wanted more. Nowadays, I am scared of both sexes lol. I don’t trust either one.

  • Auntie Sandee,
    You’re timeless, and eternal… it’s far from being old. Your nephew is happy that you are having fun.
    Le Clown

    • I know right?! I still prefer kicking it with women, though I suppose I’m learning to appreciate so-called friendships with males for what they are.

      Thanks for saying I’m not too old! Yay!

  • I love this post! I’m nodding with genuine synthetic sympathy.
    What happens to those who live dangerously by being true to who they are? Who knows …
    I love flirting, probably more than the mechanical final act. Flirting has nothing to do with age, but with charm. With a promise … No one has it who isn’t capable of genuinely liking others. Charm is always genuine.
    Stopped at the fading light in the corner of the bar, turning the head, and allowing myself to enjoy the animal beauty that was that woman. She noticed my staring and asked, “What?” As if she doesn’t know… To study her skin with a microscope, and her soul with … a telescope …
    Bravo!!! Great post!!

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