Published June 30, 2013 by Sandee


At the bus stop, on my way to work, a woman came after I did, beginning a competition to board first.  She inched her way beside me, amongst others who were more or less orderly.  Generally people respect the ones who were there first.  Though aware that it was stupid, I couldn’t help myself and maneuvered between the people to stay in front of her, and she did the same, so we got to the steps of the bus shoulder to shoulder — like fucking idiots.

She dipped her Metro Card into the fare box first, winning the competition.  “You are so rude!”  I said, repeating, “You are SO rude!”   The woman, from Africa somewhere, wore a long head covering (a burka maybe) with pink and purple circles and a tunic with similarly colored circles.  She wore black pants and sandals beneath it.

Again I said, as I tend to focus and drive it home, “You are SO rude!”

She said in a melodic accent, “I don no why you doin’ chop chop!”

Oh I know why I was doin’ chop chop —  I was a fucking idiot with a toothache who had slept very little the night before.  If this woman had done this another day, I would have gladly stepped aside to let her on.  Today my spiritual energy was low.

I eventually worked it out, going easy on myself for behaving badly.  As an old man from Harlem said, generally, “If someone steps on my foot in the subway station, I apologize.”  It’s not that I’m a pussy, it’s because I understand that we’re paranoid, scared, defensive, and carry a lot of baggage, etc., and I’d like to be as helpful as possible.  But I know this shit will happen again because I’m not Saint Auntie Sandee.  But when things like this do happen, I wonder how I might do better next time.

Walking to the bus stop after work I thought about ‘chop chop’ lady.  The bus comes and guess who’s on it? — ‘chop chop’ lady!  She was smiling vaguely.  I had to smile too.

The bus got crowded.  A young couple got on.  The woman asked to sit in the inner seat next to mine.  “Sure,” I said, rising to let her in.  The man stood by the outer seat next to me and chatted with her.  Later, the person behind me got up.  The man sat in that seat.  I turned and said, “Let me switch,” so that he could sit next to the woman who got on with him.

“You’re a nice lady,” the woman said, and her male friend thanked me.  “Thanks again,” she said down the road when they got off the bus.  “Have a good evening,” I told them.

So.  I’m redeemed.  How nice if we could be like this all the time and not have ‘chop chop’ lady incidents?

I wondered if seeing ‘chop chop’ lady again meant that it was synchronicity, a sign that I’m supposed to be communicating something.  So I wrote this.  But this wasn’t the only interesting synchronous-ey thing that happened this week.

A few days ago on the way to work I thought, though I’m not influenced by mainstream ideas and think for myself, I’m not getting any validation from the tribe.  I don’t have any ‘certifications’ — so to speak — since I’ve rejected certain ‘customs’ and ‘rituals’.  I’m not trying to be hip, this is just the way it is, from when I was young.  Maybe I just have some kind of syndrome.  Anyway, I muse, while I think for myself, etc., I’m kind of ass out, because I still need to have some validation from my tribe, right?  So I get to work and read this companion pamphlet to an installation in the gallery where I work.  It talks about mainstream influence on thought patterns, group mentality, and how most people desire validation from each other in a society, etc.  And I think it basically criticized sheep mentality.

Synchronicity.  Holy shit.  Great.  Then I read this blog post yesterday, ABOUT synchronicity.  Wow.

Last week I wrote a post with some divergent ideas about society.  I wondered if this message from God and the universe means that it will be received better because of the coincidence of thinking about what it is to be different and having that thought validated by the pamphlet, and it all being in line with the different perceptions in the post I wrote about society.  What am I supposed to do with synchronous moments?  Are they the universe’s brass ring?

26 comments on “Synchronicity

  • Great post! I try to not let society affect me as well, but it seems to be some kind of natural trait that needs to be fought. I hate it when I realize just how much I need to be validated. I would like to say it doesn’t matter, but it does to some extent. As far as “chop chop” is concerned, I am not so sure it was an altogether bad thing for you to call attention to her rudeness. I think what you did while on the bus for the nice couple was an example to all of how we are supposed to treat people but may people needed an example of what it is like when people are rude. lol

    • Thanks Carla! I really appreciate your feedback.

      Yeah you said it — it’s a ‘natural trait’. I don’t think it needs to be fought however. As I mature, I am becoming more in line with who I’m supposed to be. I take those messages as a sign that this is indeed what I’m supposed to be and that I shouldn’t fight it.

      Yeah, that woman was rude. But it has been my position to be a step up from that whenever I encounter it, especially in the city when in a split second someone might whip out a gun, want to fight, or who knows. I let fools be fools, and save my battles for the big time — I do know how to be assertive and aggressive if necessary, so I don’t get off on petty competitions, which is why I was ashamed of how I behaved.

      • I know you are right Sandee. We should not give in to those urges. I just don’t think you should beat yourself up over just saying that it was rude. It was rude. It seems with me though, I spent most of my life trying to be an example of what I should be (treating others like I want to be treated) and people not catching on. As I’ve gotten older I’m finding I’m not as patient anymore lol. I would probably have my butt beat in New York lol

  • a sign that I’m supposed to be communicating something. So I wrote this.

    Clearly this happened so you would write this post and I would read it and remember to purchase the new Bell X1 (named after the first aircraft to exceed the speed of sound) album which is called….Chop, Chop.

  • I like the idea of synchronous moments being “the universe’s brass ring.”

    I also like the idea of calling someone who cuts the line a “Chop Chop Lady.”

    In short, there’s lots of food for thought on this blog today!

  • In my opinion “synchronous moments” happens all the time, we are just unaware of it. When a situation leaves significant emotional impact, it becomes so very obvious, and we get that “aha” feeling. But I’m sure it happens every second.

    The chop chop encounter is a wonderful story, and very recognizable, so familiar it made me laugh. Positive energy losing the battle against negative thoughts, and negativity becomes an obsession.

    Wonderful post, Sandee, and very inspiring.

  • You know, I wanted to say something clever about karma or some such thing. But really, you reacted out of a bad place in one situation (no blame, but something I need to remember next time someone is unpleasant to me); and you did a nice thing in the other. You’re a good person who sometimes has a bad day. I tend to lose it a little sometimes, too, with lots of passive/aggressive muttering. So I’ll use your example to try to better myself a little bit.

    • Your comment really touched me Mary. This is how this whole blogging/internet thing can work in a positive way where we share and learn from each other — yay! In the past, I thought it was my duty to give people a piece of my mind, but nowadays, I see nothing wrong with facing rudeness with kindness or with compassion and understanding. BUT more importantly, I realize I’m human and not a goddamned saint so when I do trip out, I have to give myself that same compassion.

      I tried experimenting with this kindness in the face of rudeness thing years ago. I put my money, including some change, through the hole in the token booth to give to the clerk for some tokens. The money fell on the floor on her side because I shoved it too hard I guess. She yells at me, “You gotta problem?!” I responded in all sincerity, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize how hard I had pushed the money through.” You should have seen the look on her face — frozen, staring in disbelief I imagine since I didn’t bite back and say something like, “No, do you bitch!” as I might have years before — hahaha! Hey, not to say I’m still not capable of it. We should all be careful too because you don’t know who the hell you’re dealing with out there — the cutest little dressed up lady might be that psychopath with a gun.

  • Thanks for this. ‘Kill them with kindness’ is the thought that pops into my head. It happened recently with a rude waitress. I stayed kind when she was cold and eventually saw her face and body soften and she went out of her way to be helpful. Lesson learned.

    • Oh you’re more than welcome! I always say, I put it out there in the universe so that you all can give it back to me when I need it, and vice versa. There are days when I’m behaving badly, that I might need to be shown, by example, what a better route might be. But I always hope that with practice those days are fewer and fewer. But I’m no saint — I just choose my battles “wisely” as they say.

      I love that you could see the change in the waitresses body language. The way you treated her was indeed a lesson that she learned from and will hopefully carry it along.

  • Oh wow, had the same thing happen yesterday with synchronicity! I also got the whole tribe thing too which disconcerted me… Thought I was different cos I can’t say “Baaa” that well… I put it down to me Yorkshire accent! ;-D

    • Hehehe! I like your lighthearted take on it! I went back and forth between thinking — this is something monumental, to, get a grip, it doesn’t mean you’ve won the lottery…

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