Ma wants to sit down yo!

Published July 31, 2012 by Sandee

A mouse had babies in my apartment.   They don’t know shit from shamrock because they’re too young yet — they don’t know they’re supposed to run when they see me.  The one today just walked around my apartment with impunity, exploring, sniffing at my books on the floor.  He stopped to drink droplets of water on the kitchen floor — while I stood there.    Maybe he knew (she?) that I referred to mice as cute Disney creatures in a previous post.  Maybe he knew that I don’t kill mice, that in the previous days I merely trapped his brother and sister in a shoebox with bread, took them outside and let them free in the woods.  “This nice lady likes us,” they think.  How did the one sibling wind up in my bathtub like Sisyphus?  He’d get so far up the porcelain curve before sliding down.  I gotta admit he was kinda cute.  But how?  It couldn’tve climbed up the outside of the tub.  Baffling.  The one today I didn’t capture so it could still be in here.  It just better stay the hell out of the crack of my ass!  One time a couple years ago I swear one flitted across my ass while I was in bed.  I’m not infested.  And I’m not a dirty girl.  I think they just know I feel their pathos.  I left the little runt here today and went on my way.

On the train I fell asleep and was awakened by a man who sat across from me grumbling about some fellow black folks he was fittin’ to kill.  Talking to himself the whole time, using the rapper’s expletive, the so-called N word — he promised to kill up all of them because they had done something to him.  He was so angry, spewing all that killingness that I left the car.  I have a choice you know.  As this was one of the cars that you couldn’t walk through, at the next stop I got out of the car and ran to the next car before the train pulled off.

I went to my doctor’s.  She thinks the tingling in my face and arm may be because of a nerve healing after the oral surgery I had — so I’ll have tests.  I left there and tried to find humane traps at Whole Foods and Home Goods.  No go.  I thought my friend who I’m hanging out with tomorrow might know where to get them.  She knows about stuff like that.

The train going home was crowded so I had to stand.  “Yo ma you want to sit down?”  A man says, pointing to a seat next to a giant suitcase.  I thought he wanted me to sit on the suitcase at first.  I knew he was off — I shook my head and cast my eyes down.  He was a white male using black street vernacular, tall, wearing urban gear.  He had piercing eyes and a threatening demeanor.   He then yelled at passengers with a psychotic testosterone fueled rant, “Ma wants to sit down yo — let ma sit down!”   He walked toward me.  I shook my head and moved further away.  He targeted an Asian gentlemen reading a book.  “Yo, you smart.  Let Ma sit down.”  The poor guy looked at me and began to rise.  I shook my head furiously, determined not to speak as I didn’t want to say anything this man could attach himself to.  Thank God this was a car you could walk through — I made my way closer to the area between the cars.  The man continued bullying, “Ma wants to sit down, somebody gotta git up yo!”  He waved an arm at all the passengers.  A woman offered me her seat.  I thought about her personality type.  Was she easily intimidated, somebody who didn’t feel worthy of her own seat?  I swiftly made it to the next car while the train was still moving — I love being able to escape a car if I have to.  Looking behind me constantly, I could see the champion of my cause peering through the window.  I leaned back so my view would be blotted by a standing passenger.  I wondered if I should move still further, but I was fine for the rest of the ride — what the hell was going on in New York City’s subway system today?

At home I called my friend about our date for the museum tomorrow, planning also to ask about the humane mouse traps.  She has a consciousness about these things.  She’s into healthy eating — her sister is into holistic health.  I imagined a little box with compartments for food and water, maybe with a steel mesh window so the little buggers wouldn’t feel claustrophobic.  “Hey, do you know about humane mouse traps?” I said, telling her my mouse stories.  “Just kill the little motherfuckers with a bat.  You let ’em go they’re gonna be killed anyway,” she said.   Ah yeah, the day.

47 comments on “Ma wants to sit down yo!

  • Mice mouse crawling creatures scare me like crazy. I am a chicken and big wuss lol. Trains too can get scary I often read or pretend to read…some “strange” folks be getting on those trains and just be weird.

    Like how you connected the stories :). Have fun at the museum tomorrow. Nighty night

  • Ms. Harris, You are a very sweet mouse – well I was going to say mother but somehow that didn’t sound right. Your are a very sweet Fairy Godmother to meeses, especially the babies. They probably still need their mummy but are just venturing away like all creatures great and small. The human mouse trap (that really doesn’t sound right – well, it’
    s not a cat, or Jack Russell Terrier), I mean humane trap is great and it’s reusable. We live near the woods so they at least have a chance. They aren’t designed for longevity anyway.
    Thanks for a very enjoyable read!

    • Hey Annie!! I’m glad you enjoyed reading this — I know it’s long as heck! I try to keep ’em short usually. “Meeses” I like that — think I heard mice referred to as meeses in one of those old cartoons. Yeah you’re right they’re not designed for longevity so the one who was hear earlier may be dead. Yay!

  • Humane mouse traps huh? What about those portable doll houses, the kinds that close? You could lure them in with cheese or whatever non-disney mice eat, and let them live in there with the door CLOSED. Doll houses have windows so you don’t have to worry about them suffocating, and they’ll have all the utilities fit for a Barbie princess!

    • This is something I should have considered! And the cheese I buy them of course would be the kind they have in mouse movies — triangular slices with holes large enough for them to scamper in and out of and say ‘how do.’ I should also invest in tiny little outfits, eh? 🙂 (of course when reading your comment I almost spit my Bustello out laughing!)

  • OMG OMG OMG!!! I am getting claustrophobic just thinking about your train ride with that dude bullying people into giving up their seats….

  • Sandee, you are nicer than I am. I freak out at mice — can’t stand them. And the thing on the subway — you are a brave woman. Jeez, was something in the air that day? You ran into not one but two people who were kind of, well, not there? I hope you went home, relaxed (sans mice–there has to be some humane traps somewhere!!) and have a better day. Maybe your nerve on near your tooth just got bruised. That happened to me once and it took two or three weeks for the feeling to come back completely. Good luck and have a nice, safe and lovely day!!

    • Thanks Brigitte — I did have a nice day — went to the Jewish Museum, The Museo del Barrio and the Museum in the City of New York — whew! I only encountered one nut on the train! Back in my neighborhood I found a humane trap — dumb me paid $32 for it but I can’t stand the thought of killing a mouse, partly because I’m squeamish the other part is I think they’re cute.

      I sure hope all I have is a bruised nerve. The doctor said something to this effect as well. Thanks for your well-wishes!

  • ” I shook my head furiously, determined not to speak as I didn’t want to say anything this man could attach himself to.” I love that sentence. Love it! I hope you find a humane trap for you little mice friends. We had one years and years ago in our tiny apartment. He kept eating my oatmeal packets. He had to go. I was not as kind as you.

    • Now that’s crazy — if these little buggers start eating my oatmeal or any of my food — that’s war! I found a humane trap today — I put bread with peanut butter on it in there. The thing is with this trap, you hear a click when they’re inside — that might be kind of creepy!

      I’m glad you like that sentence — I wondered how it would transmit. I appreciate the kind words — thanks FOW!

  • You might be able to find a humane trap in a hardware store…I think I’ve seen them. When Chi catches mice, she takes them into the bathtub and plays with them. We take the opportunity to pop a deli container on it and take it outside. Sometimes, however, we’re too late and have a corpse to dispose of… Yeah, trains are a microcosm unto themselves! xoM

    • Can I borrow Chi? 🙂 I found a humane trap — hooray! We’ll see how I can handle it — It holds a couple of mice at a time! The damn thing cost $32! But as I mentioned above, I can’t stand killing them. I killed one, the first one ever in my apt. back in the eighties — on a glue trap. In the morning it was writhing and squeaking on the thing. I cried all day!

      • I know exactly what you mean! I had a similar experience years ago. More recently, I accidentally STEPPED on one…totally traumatized! Put peanut butter in the trap – mice seem to like that more than cheese. Chi is a great little hunter…xoM

      • Oh geez! I pray I never step on one — I’d be traumatized too I know for sure! That’s why I had to get this trap — the little suckers had no qualms about creeping, not running, by my feet as I’m on the computer!

  • I can absolutely picture that “Ma wants to sit down yo!” guy. Awkwarrrrrd…. Summer makes the crazy bloom a little more, I think.

    I can’t kill mice. I had one in my house once and I trapped him and let him go. Even if he did get killed soon after, at least it wasn’t me that did it.

  • Have you ever seen any Jim Jarmusch films? Because your day sounded like something out of one of them.

    I get not wanting to kill mice, especially cute baby ones. Try the home improvement stores. Home Depot and Lowe’s carry some interesting stuff sometimes.

    • I haven’t seen any of his films I don’t think — but maybe — I’m going to google him.

      Mice are so cute to me — I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so. I found a humane trap — yay! In a dinky neighborhood hardware store — it was expensive — $32 — and I probably got ripped off but I needed it for peace of mind — these things have been here for the past four days. They’re wearing out their welcome!

      • Just see “Mystery Train” and you’ll be good to go.

        And peanut butter is the way to go. We had a mouse or rat in the house when I was a kid, and the pest guy said to put peanut butter in the traps. We had a rat in this house just a few years ago, but I have cats for that now.

      • I’ve heard of that movie. I’ll check out the synopsis and see if I’d like to put it on my Netflix — they’re telling me I don’t have enough movies in my queue anyway!

        I hope they take my peanut butter bait!

    • That’s quite a compliment Anette — thanks so much! I don’t know how long you could stand living here — though the energy is ripe for creative people I must say. This morning my favorite neighborhood bum was sleeping on the sidewalk, spooning with another man — they were so close to each other, like lovers in a bed — in 90 degree weather! Whew. I wondered if it would have been ethical to photograph that.

      • You’re welcome Sandee. I’m not sure how long I could stand it either, but I’m sort of in love with the idea of living there. I’ve been there couple of times. It’s my absolute favourite city. I just feel at home there. I’ve experienced so many weird and beautiful things there… Gosh I love that sidewalk scenery you describe. Cute, cruel and heartbreaking. Photograph… good question Sandee…. I wouldn’t. Some scenes will stay in your mind forever. No photo needed.

    • Wooowwwww! This is a common scene in NYC — in most neighborhoods except for the really really posh ones. And guess what — I lived on 57th and 8th avenue in ’86! Thanks for the photos — the streets here are ripe for some real pathos and grit!

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