I wasn’t going to mention the Metro-North tragedy initially, because you can’t run from death. Not really. I did finally mention it on Facebook because of some compelling coincidences. I didn’t want to give it special attention, because focusing on the details of the incident wouldn’t help to remind me that death is happening, and it’s not as big a thing as we make it out to be. When my father died I was reborn into this idea. Paradoxically, I had to go through a few complex changes to come to this simple conclusion. I try living harder and more truthfully because of this. I want to be more fleshed out and connected to everything around me.
Yah I’d like to think that I could sustain this idea. We’ll see how full of shit I am in the end though. In my isolated existence, disconnected from the whole, death becomes a melodrama, and the mere particle of my human life becomes lionized, disproportionate to the calming reality. Well, shit – I hope it’s calming. I really hate the idea of holding onto life, holding onto things…