The Vomitus of my Mind

Bloggers speak of writer’s block.  It happens, especially when you have spouses, children, mortgages, cats, dogs, ferrets, migraines, sex lives, warrants.  While I do have a job, hobbies and a social life, I don’t have that other stuff, just the occasional mouse running around my apartment that I like to feed.  Soon I anticipate more going on so who knows how often I’ll be in here.

But up ‘til now, of course the fuck I’ve been able to post regularly!  What else have I got going on…sigh…

So you are it, friends!  Until that next piece of –  I mean – until that next fine, fine person comes along – who’m I kiddn’, I’m pushing the envelope, I’m old as shit, my day is done, my coins are tossed, the jig is up, well is dried, cookies fried –

— Friends, I’ve seen it all, I’ve tasted wine, and not forgotten.  I’ve loved, I’ve lived I’ve laughed, I’ve danced the dance and tweaked my consciousness.  I’ve felt, I’ve licked, I’ve spat, I’ve chewed, I’ve ea-ten off, of every sur-face, but now, more o-d-ious, more hi-de-ous, is I just vo-mi-ted in Word Press. 

A Luddite on Twitter, Emoticons and Facebook Editing

🙂 😦

I finally figured out how to make smiley faces with a colon and close parenthesis symbol.  After my frustrating search on the wordpress screen for buttons to click that would yield me the yellow orb of idiotic expression, with or without teeth, I looked for clues in the comments section — you guys really like those things in the comments section.  I found nothing, after peering at length for any clue that might be hovering around the yellow heads.  Scrolling, scrolling downward — I get more comments these days — I spotted it — a naked colon and close parenthesis symbol — what the?!  Why, this must be it, I thought.  But somehow it didn’t take in this person’s comment box — it didn’t flesh out.  Putting my analytical mind to task, I concluded that sometimes having an ellipsis at the end of a sentence interrupts the full fleshing out of these amazing creatures.  This poor person may not have known this.  I practiced in my own box — as I always do — and — blam! — I got a head.  I was so proud of myself because I even figured out if you use the colon and open parenthesis symbol, the reverse, you get a frowny face.  But my excitement was muted when I saw that someone had festooned their box with a live animated head, with the ability to open and close their mouth in hideous, mocking laughter.  I got over it however because today I figured out how to edit a comment on facebook!

I’m only on the blog and facebook and the twitter for four months.  And while I have a twitter account I’m too overwhelmed to use it now.  So it just sits there at present.  I swore up and down Broadway that I would not succumb to any of it.  But I realized that if I would be publishing a homemade book, that I had to do my own sorry-ass piss poor marketing — so the twittering, facebook and blogging it shall be!

A Sword-Chinned B***h’s Answers to That Fred Guy’s W**dP**ss Challenge

Hello everyone, here are my answers to the WordPress challenge from That Fred Guy, yeah, THAT GUY:

What makes me unique and how does my blog showcase that?                                

Oh no no no no no — I’m not unique!  I have some, unique interests, yes?  I’m a black girl who likes death metal– no, no – I’m a middle-aged black girl who likes death metal.  While a lot of the old dm bands are middle-aged, the audience is generally made up of young white males but I don’t give a crap about that.  They’re nice chaps who think of me as Auntie Sword-Chinned Bitch \m/.  Okay, so I also want to have a society based on the barter system – that might be unique.  Okay?

What drives me to blog?

What drives me to blog is my book.  Do you like my writing?  Well then, you’ll like my book.  Do you like ass?  Do you like cake?  Well then you’ll love my book!  I hope you like my blog enough where you’d at least consider going to the bank and taking out .99 cents to buy my book.  But while blogging to promote my ass cake book, I’ve become cyber pen pals with Fred, SSG and a bunch of other nice folks from around the world – I never anticipated that.  So, nevermind about the book – no, no, no don’t forget about my book.

What irks me about blogging?

It cuts into my cake-eating activity.

How does blogging aid me in standing out from the crowd?

I can say that I communicate with people from around the world on a daily basis.  I can lie and say that I know them all personally, that I’m special in that regard and have international secrets…