It’s tacky to use photo shopping to help temper my Facebook envy? Hell naw! I too, can be fabulous. Why shouldn’t I go to soirees in San Tropez, Marrakech, Transylvania and the South of France? I can cut and paste a lover who coos at me as we row down the Seine. I’ll photo shop dreadlocks on my head, put a cleft in my chin! Oh you didn’t know I had a cleft? Well, yah I do.
Oh why I’ll still weep scrolling through Facebook pages of people who’ve actually done these things. Thank God I don’t drink anymore. In a fit of self-loathing, I totally see myself ripping the keyboard from the computer and hurling that bottle of Jim Beam against the wall. And I’d so kick the TV screen in.
But after a certificate of completion from the Acme School of Photo Shopping, I’ll put my skills to the test. I’ll have the pleasure of knowing that someone looking at my Facebook page really believes that I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro with Diana Ross, Cher and Mick Jagger.
Coke or Pepsi?
Charmin or Scott?
Beatles or Stones?
Mick Jagger is intriguing, especially that mystique and sexual ambiguity that he had in the sixties and seventies… But I was never a big fan of the music that he made with the Rolling Stones. I loved the pretty pictures of him with those big lips, however. Satisfaction fascinated me as a child, the opening with that wicked twang, and there was a dark wildness to it. And later I liked “Little T&A,” especially the tits and ass part – I couldn’t get over that they played that on the radio.
Mick Jagger no matter what I or anyone else thinks has influenced legions. And his influence showed when he performed with the Foo Fighters on SNL last Saturday. They performed It’s Only Rock ‘n Roll. You could see that the Foo Fighters were entranced. David Grohl was all sweaty and thrashing. Mick Jagger danced on stage with rhythmic fluidity, but completely out of bounds. His voice reached down and touched you in your gut and commanded you. It’s a cliché, but he was a wolf. My eyes were wide open, watching. I screamed the lyrics with them because I had to. (I imagine the show of jumping up and down and screaming I would have put on if I were there.) Their performance had the power of a southern Baptist revival. Mick Jagger as old as he is had the sexual energy of an ancient oracle, the kind of energy that isn’t common and I could feel it through the television.