Great news. I can read my own book now! I told everyone who had a Kindle that they should buy my book, but I didn’t have a Kindle my damn self! I had planned on buying one but had to take care of some pesky financial obligations first.
But then my sister discovered that you could download Kindle for a PC and forwarded the link: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_pc_mkt_lnd?docId=1000426311 .
I downloaded it and now I have access to Kindle books, including my own! Hooray! Now I can read all of my brilliant tales on Kindle and you can too! Just click the book cover on the sidebar and you’ll be half-way to the land of unbridled genius.
Read the tale of a sadist, a beheading, a foot fetish, and liver pate! My God — this is a book for freaks! But don’t worry, I think you non-freaks will find this book a refreshing catalogue of what really goes on in those normal little heads of yours. Don’t be afraid to look… I love you!
I’m renaming my blog. “The Crazy Bitch Blog,” I think. I’ve written about being aroused by a ninety year old man, euthanasia mobiles and about getting approval from the neighborhood bum. There are other things but I don’t want to make it worse on paper.
Today I wanted to write about erotic armpit odor — this is no pretense, no cheesy shock value effort (like the title of my book – ha!) – help please… After hanging out with some very normal people lately, I’ve been able to evaluate myself, to look at my past. Why did I find the necessity of creating my own planet? No seriously, this isn’t funny anymore.
I thought that calling my book ‘Why Did You Try to Fuck Somebody You Hate? And Other Mean-Spirited Tales, told by a Sword-Chinned Bitch’ was Monty Pythonesque! But apparently, some people feel like they’re being attacked when they look at the title. “Ohhh, the world’s harsh as it is, why would I want to read that? Wah, wah!” This is what pussies say. The caption says, “For those unafraid to look,” and everybodyknows pussies are afraid to look. Other people think that the title is crass and vulgar. My word!
So I changed the gd title. Well, actually only on my Goodreads ad and on my blog site. The Amazon site will take 48 hours to change over to the ‘family friendly’ title, so you can wait until then to look if you’re too a-scared. The stories aren’t really mean-spirited any way – skeevy, alcohol-drenched, and a bit macabre perhaps. Just imagine Charles Bukowski as a black woman – no, no — Edgar Allan Poe as a black woman – no wait — Fyodor Doestoevsky as a black woman… okay, this is probably why people think it’s weird. Oh, oh — and there’s cake in it, and an implied ménage trois, and cigarettes, and a stinky ‘ol ghost from Holland! One of the stories, “Night Terrors” has been published in Calliope! So take that up your crass and vulgar!
My book represents the highest caliber of literature – oh yes indeed it does. I mention myself in the same vein as Bukowski. But how do I classify my book really? I don’t. To do so would be confining it to a box. My shit can’t be labeled. And at the same time I say that it’s ‘literature’ generally, which classifies it in a sense but I’m not ridiculous about the whole thing, after all, we do need some words that we agree upon to represent something so that we can communicate — sillies!
I’ll tell you what other people said about my book later, but in the meantime, if you haven’t already done so, please click the book link on the sidebar to look at the lovely review of WDYTTFSYHAOMSTTBASCB, then go to the bank, take out .99, and buy a copy on Kindle. I’m planning on getting hard copies at some point as well, so don’t fret non-Kindle users. My sister suggests also that you send the .99 directly to me and I’ll forward you the Microsoft Word file by email! No, please don’t do that.