Johnny Depp

These people were trampled by the white man, David Letterman and Johnny Depp say — exploited. Johnny Depp’s hoping he’s done a fine representation of the native American character, to have the character fleshed out beyond the humiliating side-kick role for which Tonto’s traditionally known.

Johnny Depp says he spent time with native Americans on their reservations and got their approval. Go see the movie, it’s wildly entertaining says David Letterman. There’s a slap-sticky clip where this ‘noble’ version of Tonto outsmarts a white man as they ride the top of a train. I don’t recall the exact choreography, but it’s something like Tonto ducks and the white man gets it. Wow.

Do I have to tell you about the 800 lb gorilla? These people who have been trampled, exploited by the white man, can’t even get a role playing one of themselves. Hm!

Really. How do David Letterman and Johnny Depp talk about how evolved this role is with straight faces?

Or is it that Johnny Depp is one of the thousands of Americans claiming to be that exotica called “a quarter part Cherokee?” Bahahaha!

Oh and what’s up with that brown pin-striped suit JD wears in every photograph he’s in lately?

I’d respect you more if you didn’t talk about all that nobility crap, and just took your money and went home.

Goodnight…

I’m thinking of writing porn. Everyone’s doing it. But mine would be “outer-limits” porn. My movie would have canned goods (But absolutely NO can openers!), Brillo pads, coffee filters, extension cords (naughty, eh?), and the entire cast, except for me, would be ninety years old – excluding my grandmother – how dare you imagine that I would allow my grandma to be in such filth! You might have guessed that I cooked up (cooked up – ha!) this idea while in my kitchen.

I watched a snippet of Don Juan DeMarco with Johnny Depp, Marlon Brando and Faye Dunaway. Marlon Brando and Faye Dunaway are old in it and they’re married. There’s a scene with them in bed. They kissed. It got me horny. That’s right — I think old people are hot — forget y’all! I was mad they didn’t get butt naked.

I’ve written about my WWII veteran friend who’s one sexy bastid. He’s eighty-six. He raps, old school, and he killed bad people. You can’t touch that.

I respect him too much so he can’t be in my movie even though he’s muy hotto and I know he would blow it up. I just can’t see pimping him like that. Plus he’s too young. But I’ll interview some of his friends and some people from the Hebrew Home for the Aged at Riverdale – that’s where grandma is. And I know oldsters who visit the gallery where I work.

It’ll be a problem if they don’t want to get naked. But there won’t be animals in this movie for those of you into that kind of thing – blech! I’ll keep you posted if I decide to do it or not. Oh yeah, and no oxygen tanks because I’m using blow torches.