Cheap A** Phone

Primitive insertion of fuzzy photographs from a ‘free phone camera’

Some of you know I’m a Luddite who doesn’t give two craps about high tech gadgets.  My phone is the one advertised as ‘free’.  I paid $19 for it.  Ha!  Anyone surprised?  The other day I wanted to capture the beauty of where I work.  Why, I’ll just use my cheap free phone camera, I said on my meditative lunch time stroll.  I finally figured out how to transroll (my made up word that I love) pictures that I take on my free phone to my email, to further roll into my picture files.  See the pictures up there?  One was supposed to capture the Hudson River but you can’t see it really because of the piss poor quality.  One shows where you can take yoga but you can’t really see that either.  The pictures aren’t iPhone or Blackberry camera quality but didn’t come out all that horrible.

I didn’t think to photograph Gregor Samsa, the engorged water bug who just lay hanging out on my living room floor, terrorizing me.  I would’ve appended it to my Gregor Samsa post so you could see what I was afraid of.  As they don’t move for almost an hour sometimes, taking a photo of my bug model would’ve been easy to do.  But I’m sure y’all like flowers more.  Wouldn’t you like to work at a place like this?  You’ll get half the money you’re used to getting but dammit it’s worth it.

Have Some of My Ass Cake

 

The pictures my sister took of me look like ass.  I asked her to please not post them on fb.  Oh, oh, but I’m just waiting for this one that she has to cyber-process or whatever that technical thing you non-Luddites do to turn a picture taken from an IPhone or a Uphone whatever, and transroll it into an email to send to me.  It is a picture of my ass – no not naked.  I’m wearing pants.  ‘Memba, I said I wanted to take a picture of it to see how big it was after eating all that cake?  Aw man you didn’t read my post did you?  That’s okay.  But when she finishes processing, depending on how I feel about it, I’ll post it!  ‘kay?

[No transition whatsoever]

When I started blogging I thought all I had to do was write, lay back and collect followers.  Whew!  Blogging is a lot of damn work.  I had no motherfucking idea!  I also had no idea that it’s a community, a community of distinct personalities.  I didn’t know there’d be so many of you out there.  I went on the blog to tell people about my book, but it’s turned out to be fun!  I’ve met some groovy people whose blogs I really dig.  I don’t ever have to go out and socialize again – I can stay totally hermetically sealed in my apartment talking to you all in here forever…