guerilla

All posts tagged guerilla

My pissed off nine year old little brother gave me this name

Published August 29, 2012 by Sandee

Scroll back to 1973

Me:  Get outta here!

Little Brother:  I can stay in here!

Me:  Stu-pid!

Little Brother:  Fuck you!  Sword-Chin Bitch!

Fast forward to 1989, walking down 9th Avenue, Manhattan.  I tell my boyfriend the tale. 

“I used to be skinny with a sharp chin.  So my brother — we had a fight.  He calls me a Sword-Chin Bitch.”

“Sword-Chin Bitch?!”  Boyfriend spits pipe out. Stops walking, bends over, holds belly.  Breathless with laughter, he wipes tears from eyes.

1991, hanging with my good friend B.  To break the monotony of post coital cigarette smoking I recount the story.

“And do you know what he called me?”

“Nah baby what he call you?”

“A Sword-Chin Bitch.”

“A sword-chin who!?  Yo that ma’fucker’s funny as hell.”

Laughter ensues for five minutes.

Years later, old as shit, I come up with the idea of marketing my homemade book.

Ah, lets see, my sister says I need a blog.  She says I need to get on that gaddam facebook, and I need a catch.

Got it — I’ll name my book Why Did You Try to Fuck Somebody You Hate, and Other Mean-Spirited Tales, Told by a Sword-Chin Bitch.  It’ll be like, like — Monty Python!

B. thought Sword-Chin Bitch was hilarious – my ex thought so too.  And I’d be giving my brother a shout out.

But I can’t say Sword-Chin – it ain’t grammatically correct.  Gotta hyphenate, make it Chinned.  I’m selling a book.  It gotta be right.

Responding to the prompt for a handle on Word Press, Sword-Chinned Bitch, no-brainer.

Months later, thwarted by my own guerilla marketing ploy with that long ass book title, I change it to Mean-Spirited Tales, but keep the Sword-Chinned Bitch handle, to the dismay of a few.

Dear Readers,

Now you see the origin of my name.  I’m the antithesis of a bitch and strive to be evolved when confronted by bitches.  My handle doesn’t mean that I endorse bitches, beeotches, or sons of bitches.  Some were put off by my Sword-Chinned Bitch head appearing in their posts.  I don’t know, should I follow her back?  She might be mean, you said.  But I assure you that I am kind, loving, and do not consider bitchiness an attribute.

God bless you.

Yours truly,

Sword-Chinned Bitch

The proof copy of my book came!

Published August 1, 2012 by Sandee

I was worried that the proof copy of my book would look shoddy.  I thought the cover artwork would be washed out, but it’s a very good-looking book.  My flimsy free phone camera doesn’t capture the beauty so I didn’t post pictures — the above is just the art from the Create Space site.  I have to read it to make sure everything’s there.  They did omit the page numbers, which is weird.  Mean-Spirited Tales is a hefty book.  It’s 6×9 and about 300 pages, and mauve — I hope men don’t mind reading it.  As part of my guerilla marketing plan I’ll read it on all the city subway lines, making sure people see the cover.  I’ll squint and turn the pages thoughtfully.  Really loud I’ll say, “This book is…it’s amazing!”

A thought.  I could peddle my book on the train.  People make good money selling stuff on there I had heard.  “Git ya copy a Mean-Spirited Tales heah!”   From a tray supported by two straps on my shoulders, I’d pick up books to hurl at passengers waving money at me from the other end of the car.  A portable credit card machine might work.  I’d wear an I Love New York visor — oh and I’d have a  cigar butt dangling from my mouth.  Gotta keep it real yo!