Frankenstein

Scanning facebook to delete stupid things that irritate me – stupid things people say, stupid posters I don’t like, or hackneyed internet memes. Oh but I do enjoy that Oolong the pancake rabbit! While some of these memes are funny, I rather like hearing original thoughts from those teenie square heads of my facebook ‘friends’.

Know what I like best? Shhhh — deletin’ stuff you’re not apost ta delete – the sobby begging things with pictures – don’t tell nobody ‘acause, I don’t want people in lieder hosen chasing me with torches to run me outta town, like they did Frankenstein’s Monster! Trying to get me to take action on a facebook page by using shocking images makes me feel – manipulated. Maybe you’re eager to show that you’re a generous spirit because you embrace unfortunate souls who have been disfigured. I have a need also to show how kind hearted I am but no one cares. If you really want me to know how generous you are, support your cause on the down low and let me discover how humble you are when I accidentally find out years later that you’ve poured thousands of dollars and many hours into said cause without looking for any fanfare or acknowledgement. Also, please tell me what happens when I click ‘like’ for this that or the other cause.

You know that picture of the mother breast feeding with the caption saying why are we ashamed of this, when we should be ashamed of this — and then it shows three women with big titties in bikinis? I always focus on the women with the big titties. I think Hawt damn! I’m going for these if I get implants! C’mon look at me, I’m fucked up! Why should it matter to you that I’m like this?

But I do like posts where they talk about what they ate for lunch and what time they took a shit, what it smelled like, whether they used Charmin or Scott to wipe their asses and whether or not they should buy the chartreuse or fuschia fishnets for the women’s auxiliary ball.

Hey Sandee bitch, get a life!

I had a crush on Frankenstein’s Monster when I was a girl. He was very sweet but nobody understood him. He was pushed into a corner and had to come out fighting. “You treat like monster? I act like monster,” he says. He didn’t ask to come into this world, into this horrible place — very much like me. He reaches out but people wearing liederhosen throw rocks and chase him while carrying torches–very much like what happens to me.

At Halloween time, which is my Christmas, I put framed pictures of my first honey in different poses all over my apartment. I’m excited as the time is nigh. I love October! And away with this stinkin’ humidity and season of funky ass crack stench! I don’t want to intrude on Eva Halloween’s territory but I want to share this wonderful opener for the Saturday evening Creature Feature movies, circa 1970somethingorother. Eva Halloween has the coolest site, especially for Halloween enthusiasts. I remember three of my girl cousins and I huddled in their bedroom one Saturday evening, watching Creature Features. All the lights were turned out and we had popcorn — good times, good times. This is when I first divulged my crush. They paid my honey very little to be in this video because they thought he was stupid. But he was not. He knew it would make him famous. There’s a little public announcement at the beginning but it’s kind of cool and retro:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5TotRnw1dM&feature=PlayList&p=46C14227D8003943&index=5