end of the world

All posts tagged end of the world

REE-spect – my damn holiday!

Published December 17, 2012 by Sandee

g'ma

I’m wiser in maturity.  I respect people and I’m community-minded.

I took my Halloween decorations off my door yesterday, to respect the people celebrating Xmas.  I want to show respect to the neighbors who have a wreath on their door opposite mine.  I didn’t give a hoot about stuff like this before.

Since my namesake hurricane came this year around Halloween I didn’t celebrate properly.  But it just felt plain rude, keeping the gravestone on my door, intruding on their holiday.  My holiday is gone now.  I need to get over it.  That’s maturity.

A few years ago, I left the Halloween ghoul on my door through Xmas, but made it season ‘appropriate’.   I cut a thought bubble out in white paper and wrote “Merry Xmas!” on it.  I attached it to the ghoul’s mouth like he was saying it.  Get it?  I merged two holidays!

Though, everyone knows I’m the ‘lovable’ freak on the top floor, the kindly spinster who ought to have eight cats but for some reason doesn’t.  They accept that I leave my Halloween decorations up until I officially feel Halloween’s over.

One year it ended in April.  But I try taking them down sooner now because Halloween is anticlimactic when you take your decorations down from the last year in, let’s say, August only to put them right back up on October 10th.

So I’ll take down the Halloween decorations inside my apartment after Xmas, that is, if the world doesn’t end on Friday.  Oooo, I’ll bet there will be some slamming End-of-the-World parties on Friday.  I wasn’t invited to any of them so I’ll be celebrating Armageddon by myself this year.

The Picture of My Behind

Published May 27, 2012 by Sandee

The picture of my behind that my sister took when I visited looked just fine.

Here she is with her husband:

I wanted her to take one so that I could see how fat it was after eating different kinds of cake.  I said maybe I’d post a picture of it.  But since my butt looked fine I ate more cake.  I only wanted to post it if it was huge, to shame myself, in front of everybody.  So now I don’t have to show it to you.

But the real reason I won’t show it to you is because my hair was stone busted!  I wear an afro these days and I give afros a bad name in that butt picture.   I don’t want the people who read this who want afros to think that they all come out like that.

Here’s a better picture with one of my fake sons and me during the visit where you can’t see how busted my hair was:

Wait a cotton pickin’ minute!  How’d that get in there?!

[Deleted the picture of Steve Harvey dressed as woman holding ‘Steve Harvey’ baby with mustache — didn’t want to get sued.  Too bad you didn’t catch it earlier.  It was hilarious.]

Here it is now — this is me and both of my fake sons:

There wasn’t any cake there but there were cookies, Cheetos, popcorn, Fritos and ice cream.  I ate them because my sister’s husband bought them special for my visit.  I ate them instead of dinner.  I don’t like food anyway.  Food’s a burden.   I had fun there.