Dutch

I helped make somebody a Hollywood Star. And yet I live, ever so humbly. I wrote a play in college in’91 and handpicked three people from my class to star in it. They didn’t act on stage, just read the script in a workshop. I don’t even remember the name of it — but still! I only just remember that one of the characters was insane — of course.

After starring in my blockbuster play, Famke Janssen developed a very successful movie career for which I totally take credit. I had no idea then that she was getting into acting. I saw her on the big screen for the first time in the X-Men. “My protégé!” I cried, pointing at the screen.

Famke was nice. I liked Famke, but Famke never gave me credit for catapulting her to success. Famke hasn’t thanked me.

If her ship starts sinking and mine begins doing whatever it is that ships do when they sail very well, would I offer her a lifeboat? Of course I’d offer her a lifeboat – I molded her career for goodness sake – remember in the World of Suzie Wong, Suzie Wong she kept saying this – in that cute Chinese accent — “For goodness sake!” What a racist movie, but for the life of me I just love saying that. Nancy Kwan rules!

Really, I don’t think Famke Janssen’s ship would sink and would never wish for it to sink.

Kiss kiss on both cheeks to Famke Janssen – well hell, all four cheeks – this post is called “Celebrity butt kissing series” for goodness sake!

Long live the beauteous Famke Janssen!

What celebrity encounters have you had? Do you know Famke Janssen?

Armageddon was pretty uneventful this year — other than the fact that I’m suffering from the need of an apicoectomy. That’s a dental procedure. It hurts like holy hell, which is why I didn’t get it when I was supposed to. That’s why I’m in trouble now for waiting so long.

So…happy Armageddon to me — know what’m sayin’? At least I got to listen to our favorite Armageddon holiday song . It’s really hardcore, so only those who are interested in adding it to their holiday selection, please, enjoy:

As expected on this holiday of Armageddon, I experienced a small degree of existential angst, which I’d say wasn’t eventful. That’s what this day’s about anyway. Angst comes, and she goes — that’s what they told me in Harlem Hospital the day I was born. It was during the Welcome-to-the-World speech that they gave to all the newborns back in 1962 – haha!

Harlem Hospital used to be the best place to go for gun shot wounds because they happened with frequency then. So they were better prepared for it. Harlem was very different during that period.

Ever see Cotton Comes to Harlem? Well, that’d give you an idea. Maybe. My mom grew up there, not far from Frankie Lymon of Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers. My dad lived on Convent Avenue, though he wasn’t born and raised in Harlem like my mother.

The Harlem area was originally inhabited by the Manhattan Native people. The Dutch came later and called it Haarlem (Haaaaaaahhhhrlem!). Fast forward to the Great Migration when Blacks came there from the south, then there was the Harlem Renaissance era. My grandparents migrated to Harlem from the south during the later period of migration. The depressed era in Harlem happened after the Renaissance.

Now the era in Harlem is the one that’s too rich for me to live in! Haha! You should see some of those brownstones, they’re palaces. Nothing stays the same in this world. Not even me.

I’ve come out of my angst to a period of excitement and wide possibilities. See how that worked? Evolution. Cool.