I’m a brown-skinned black woman with kinky hair, but people have told me that I look like white women. It’s weird. Years ago in a salon, a woman pointed at a white model in Vogue. “You look like her,” she said. The model wore a grey fur vest, a fur hat and Cossack boots – she had her foot up on a stoop. Odd, but I saw it.
Once a woman squinted and said, “I know this is weird, but you look like this white woman on As the World Turns.” At least she knew it was weird.
Last weekend I met three women — one said, “You look like Ali McGraw!” Her friends said, “You do look like Ali McGraw.” How bizarre, I thought, but Googled her and saw why they might see a resemblance.
People have said that I look like black women too. Imagine that.
Someone said that I looked like Pam Grier. For those who know her, look at that picture and take two guesses why I don’t look like no Pam Grier.
My mom says I look like Halle Berry. But she’s my mom, so we’ll let that one slide. Aside from that body, I don’t think she’s all that anyway.
Years ago people said that I looked like Shari Belafonte. My dentist thought so. “Shari Belafonte with bad teeth, huh,” I said. He didn’t think it was funny. Maybe he thought I insulted his dental work?
Way back my boyfriend approached, pointing — “Know what you look like? An a-cheetah!” What did he know from cheetahs living in the city? I was also momentarily stunned because he had said, do you know “what” you look like. Two other guys also said that I looked like a cheetah, but said it correctly.
I have moles all over my face and a round head? I move like a cheetah?
I love looking like a cheetah. Raowr! I just wish I could run like a cheetah and not like I’m wearing a loaded diaper.
I could see Shari Belafonte and the cheetah right off the bat.
But I prefer looking like a cheetah, because when you look like a celebrity you’re relegated to being mini-me. You’re an ersatz version of them.
I saw a stuffed cheetah at the Museum of Natural History. That place seems so dusty and old – old in a bad way, like there’s still asbestos padding the walls. I stared at the cheetah for a while. I imagined patting that cheetah and clouds of dust coming out of it.
What creatures of the wild kingdom do you resemble?