Charmin

All posts tagged Charmin

Wanna know my new idiotic pastime?

Published August 10, 2012 by Sandee

Scanning facebook to delete stupid things that irritate me – stupid things people say, stupid posters I don’t like, or hackneyed internet memes.  Oh but I do enjoy that Oolong the pancake rabbit!  While some of these memes are funny, I rather like hearing original thoughts from those teenie square heads of my facebook ‘friends’.

Know what I like best?  Shhhh — deletin’ stuff you’re not apost ta delete – the sobby begging things with pictures – don’t tell nobody ‘acause, I don’t want people in lieder hosen chasing me with torches to run me outta town, like they did Frankenstein’s Monster!  Trying to get me to take action on a facebook page by using shocking images makes me feel – manipulated.  Maybe you’re eager to show that you’re a generous spirit because you embrace unfortunate souls who have been disfigured.  I have a need also to show how kind hearted I am but no one cares.  If you really want me to know how generous you are, support your cause on the down low and let me discover how humble you are when I accidentally find out years later that you’ve poured thousands of dollars and many hours into said cause without looking for any fanfare or acknowledgement.  Also, please tell me what happens when I click ‘like’ for this that or the other cause.

You know that picture of the mother breast feeding with the caption saying why are we ashamed of this, when we should be ashamed of this — and then it shows three women with big titties in bikinis?  I always focus on the women with the big titties.  I think Hawt damn! I’m going for these if I get implants!  C’mon look at me, I’m fucked up!  Why should it matter to you that I’m like this?

But I do like posts where they talk about what they ate for lunch and what time they took a shit, what it smelled like, whether they used Charmin or Scott to wipe their asses and whether or not they should buy the chartreuse or fuschia fishnets for the women’s auxiliary ball.

Hey Sandee bitch, get a life!