A Sword-Chinned B***h’s Answers to That Fred Guy’s W**dP**ss Challenge

Hello everyone, here are my answers to the WordPress challenge from That Fred Guy, yeah, THAT GUY:

What makes me unique and how does my blog showcase that?                                

Oh no no no no no — I’m not unique!  I have some, unique interests, yes?  I’m a black girl who likes death metal– no, no – I’m a middle-aged black girl who likes death metal.  While a lot of the old dm bands are middle-aged, the audience is generally made up of young white males but I don’t give a crap about that.  They’re nice chaps who think of me as Auntie Sword-Chinned Bitch \m/.  Okay, so I also want to have a society based on the barter system – that might be unique.  Okay?

What drives me to blog?

What drives me to blog is my book.  Do you like my writing?  Well then, you’ll like my book.  Do you like ass?  Do you like cake?  Well then you’ll love my book!  I hope you like my blog enough where you’d at least consider going to the bank and taking out .99 cents to buy my book.  But while blogging to promote my ass cake book, I’ve become cyber pen pals with Fred, SSG and a bunch of other nice folks from around the world – I never anticipated that.  So, nevermind about the book – no, no, no don’t forget about my book.

What irks me about blogging?

It cuts into my cake-eating activity.

How does blogging aid me in standing out from the crowd?

I can say that I communicate with people from around the world on a daily basis.  I can lie and say that I know them all personally, that I’m special in that regard and have international secrets…

Naked Ass Cake Readings

“Naked Ass Cake Readings?” — Really?! — I feel like Kyle all psyching people out.

I’m supposed to be writing another book, but I wanted to see first if anyone would care about my first book, over there at the sidebar.  Actually I do have a novel called The Unavoidable, copyrighted in the year 2000 — ‘memba the year 2000, it was the future.  I really need to hurl that novel out there.  They say novels do better than collections of short stories.  We’ll see.

I want to do book tours in Manhattan.  Have readings.  Naked readings.  Okay not naked readings, but readings with people other than me reading.  Young, beautiful people.  Maybe Le Clown would fly down to read with his magnificence, charisma and mind boggling beauty…  I have to get copies printed of my book.  I’m not up to the task yet.  In due time…in due time, as says the Devil in the Exorcist.

I’m spending all my time blogging now and not writing.  I should be writing.  The last short story I wrote was Why Did You Try to Fuck Somebody You Hate?  Well.  Why did you?

Have Some More Ass Cake

 

I’m not naïve. But why is my ‘Have some of my ass cake’ post popular?  It doesn’t have actual ass in it just pictures of nice cakes.  There isn’t any porno.  One of the popular tags that people follow leading them to my blog is ‘ass’.  I had no idea ass was popular – I thought it was tits people preferred – well maybe I should try a tits post and see how many folks hit that up. And it won’t be about actual titties, it’ll be about the suckling teats of a rhinoceros.  I’m trying to imagine what people think a post called ‘Have some of my ass cake’ is about.  Do they think the ‘cake’ part means I’m saying that my ass is sweet?  Maybe they think it’s sex talk:  ‘Comere baby, gimme some of that ass cake lovin’.  Yeah, you know what I’m here for?  Some of that big ‘ol ass cake, bitch — yer!”