A Dime-a-Dozen Blogger

Published August 7, 2014 by Sandee

After starting my blog, I read hundreds of other blogs and followed quite a few. I didn’t anticipate what I encountered, people looking for a place to belong, people who needed somewhere to vent. Some of these people had found friendships they couldn’t develop in the three-dimensional realm. A lot of us are really co-dependent.

Someone said, “With Facebook, there’s a lot of psychological stuff going on.” I extend that observation to blogging. I size up someone’s personality from their blogging habits. In the blogosphere, I see approval-seekers, trend-followers, and those who blog in certain communities because they feel that they belong – it’s a place where certain people finally feel popular. Sometimes the sharing is intense, and at times I wonder, when the bloggers disappear from the ‘sphere, if they are okay, as they had talked about experiencing severe depression.

I am fortunate to have close friends that I can share personal things with, though some people consider the people that they meet in the blogosphere to be friends, and they are fulfilled by those relationships. I’m not opposed to forming friendships with bloggers, but I have to be able to smell, touch and hear you – I have to know you a couple of years, and to be able to read your aura before making that blood pact. I don’t use the word “friend” loosely.

The blogging environment can be affected, and there is playacting. Behind the wall, there’s no shame in blowing things up pretty big – you can hide behind a persona – be that tough girl, the femme fatale (I think I tried to play that one up a couple of times – hahaha!). There are professional bloggers. But some of us take blogging a little too seriously.

In the 1800s, Washington Irving described the flood of “writers” with their pretenses at the proliferation of printing houses – ha! I wonder what he’d think today when everyone and their mother can claim literary importance with the multitude of outlets — myself included.

In the blogosphere, alternate universes are created. Some people imagine that they’re larger than life. But WordPress hosts thousands of sites, and bloggers are a dime a dozen. A blogger actually did once describe us as “dime-a-dozen-bloggers”, and I loved it – it put us in our place. We all have different angles, and some are actually great writers. Most of us are in the middle, and some of us are awful. I don’t even make a big deal out of new followers, because 97% of the time, they don’t even “like” or comment. They’re just trolling for followers. I do enjoy a lot of blogs, but I have to have a balance with my real life and with the real world.

I don’t want to lose perspective. The blogosphere is a place for me to share dime-a-dozen thoughts, to practice writing, and to trade comments. I remind myself of this, otherwise I can delude myself into thinking I’m Sandor-the-Barbarian, destined to rule a demented corner of the blogosphere.

 

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41 comments on “A Dime-a-Dozen Blogger

  • Very thoughtful post. My friends are people I know in that thorny place I call Real Life. I often see myself as a mere droplet in the ocean of blogging, and I’m with you about the following: so many seem to be trolls or spambots. But, “Sandor” I’m chuckling at your tags again. Maybe you’ll get Rula Lenska to find you and comment? Or at lest honor you with a like.

    • Thanks LA! Oh wow spambots — I didn’t know about those — or even trolls for that matter — I’m so naive when it comes to those things. I sorta wondered if it were some kind of automation. I would die happy if Rula Lenska dropped by 🙂

  • Haha, look at your tags. I just read LA’s comments. I know, perspective is good. I just pat myself on the back for sticking around and being here at all! You know what I mean? I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care what people think of me If they don’t like me, there a dime-a-dozen other bloggers out there. Sometimes, I think the blogosphere feels small and then I realize there are millions of blogs, millions! Like you, I don’t know my new followers. I don’t seem to have the time to find out who they are, and they don’t return! They don’t seem like spambots. Who knows.

  • I do distinguish between my blogging friends and my friends, Sandee. Reading your post, I re-lived my own blogging experience and attempt to find my place. Because I don’t work in a conventional office environment, perhaps the blogging community satisfies that craving for a daily, familiar environment that offices offer, and yet, simultaneously, maintain some distance. After blogging daily for a year, sporadically for another year, I think I’ve finally hit upon a rhythm and form that satisfies my desire for self-expression and connection. And I’m glad to still bump into you! 😉 xoxoM

    • You and Mike were the only two bloggers I’ve actually met — and it was a pleasure! I have found myself looking forward to connecting with people through blogging — I just have to remind myself that there’s a world outside of it. I thought of writing a short story about someone who lives entirely in the blogosphere.

  • Loved this. I was having a conversation with a fellow blogger (a live face-to-face one, no less) and we were discussing all of the people who had blogs that we followed and how many of them just fade away. My follow list on WordPress Reader is pretty long, but not nearly as many bloggers are active. I think it’s time to get off my butt and find some new writers to follow!

  • Sandor the Barbarian is too funny. 🙂 I reblogged a video lecture http://wp.me/p28iGT-12E by a blogger named Tressie… well she’s actually a sociologist teaching/interning toward her PhD…that has so much to do with what you are referencing… and how we interact on the internet. She talks about educational and job inequities too as it applies to technology and institutions for black people in particular, but in terms of class structures more specifically, and if you listen to her lecture she covers so much ground and makes so many connections. She gets to the bottom line about how people think other internet people are essentially “weird” and how we don’t meet outside of this space, because that crosses boundaries… and how we “present”, as well as maybe do things we normally wouldn’t for the feeling of anonymity. So we never really know who we are talking to. Anyhow the video is an hour long so I understand if people don’t have time, but Tressie is very funny and down to earth while at the same time she kicks my ass intellectually… so I dig her.
    For my part, I’m guilty of traversing the internet “all wrong” according to the general rules but it’s become sociologically interesting nevertheless. 🙂

    • Thanks for sharing the video! I can maybe watch it piece by piece — I don’t have time right now, but I appreciate you sending it. I have definitely gleaned from reading comments on blogs, that some people are more comfortable interacting in the ‘sphere. It seems some people just would rather remain anonymous. I suspect a few of these folks are nothing like their blogging portrayals.

      I was recently annoyed at something a blogger posted where someone sent them threats — anonymously — because they didn’t appreciate what they’d blogged about. I thought — sheer cowardice. The problem I have is with the bullshit that’s perpetrated — people saying things here that they would NEVER utter to your face or in public.

      • Yeah. I agree with what you’re saying. I’ve said things to people that later I reflected on, and felt wasn’t necessary but I always try to be diplomatic in the endings, with a no hard feelings and thanks for the learning even if we didn’t connect and or battled quite possibly needlessly. I figure I am grateful to them all for the interactions because they give me an opportunity to learn about myself. If they are guarded or preachy I sorta develop my boundaries or try approaches at expanding the dialogue and I get the same results so then I narrow down what I bother with. I got into a discussion about air condition units in relation to fauna with a guy and I mean, was this important? No… but we enjoyed it for whatever reasons. 🙂 Since my name is on my stuff I figure when I blow it on the internet I am owning my folly. I like to see what trends but I don’t like to join them in the same ways… and the like button thing was a weird thing… which I guess now there’s a Frontline special all about the like-button generation… I have yet to see it… because yeah, so little time… but I kinda narrowed it down to three people (including you Sandee) that if I got a like from one of the bloggers I most respected on my list, I’d be satisfied. Not that you have to feel obligated to like button me, I just always felt honored when you did. Then there was a debate evidently that if one doesn’t care about being like-buttoned it meant one was a narcissist and I was thinking, what??? we have to care what people think? Isn’t that constraining trying to please everyone? The “approval” thing you wrote about and needing to be like buttoned seems more narcissist in my opinion, plus you hear about people getting depressed if no one does like button them or there are competitions if your peers have more than you… so it form a kind of addictive blogging rather than someone actually interested in the work for the sake of the work. Ok… so I’ve blabbed on… I’ve got plumbers and plumbing problems in my house so in between all that I’m rambling at you. Thanks for keeping it real as can be on ye olde bloggosphere! 🙂

        • Oh yes, that ‘like’ button program — I’d heard the buzz about it on the television when I was in another room. And I do believe that these mediums brings out the narcissist in all of us — hahaha! One can learn so much these days about what makes people tick — it can be — illuminating, disgusting, depressing, amusing, and fun — a big ‘ol party — hahahaha!

          • yeah, but it’s also that whole hypochondriac thing. The trend this week is we are all bi-polar. The trend next week is we are all vain. The trend the following week is we are all against the word feminist. Trigger warnings were all the rage. So I guess what bothers me is why is everyone “buying” it. I know there are narcissists in all of us if we wanna do Freud stuff and ego junk, but I just feel people are feeding on the sentiment. We don’t have to actually take the sick on, even if we “show” it sometimes in our blogging. I think the point is to express creatively and not block that or censor it and to liberate our voices. So what if I hit a flat note or a sour note? And just because other people are “sick” I’m supposed to absorb that and be limbic like a baby and be sick too? Sometimes I am. Sometimes I’m not. The judgements are one big projection. Thinking is illusion. I enjoy thinking. I like the melancholy and the jovial spectrum. It’s rich. 🙂

          • But I should add, that when you talk about people harassing other people on line that’s a what makes people tick that illuminates a spooky type of internet behavior that’s unfortunate. And so we all gotta be wiser…
            Ok thanks again for the dialogue Sandee!

  • Yep 🙂
    I found myself thinking these same very thoughts, especially on Facebook , which I’ve removed myself from. Will WP be next, I don’t know. Either way, Sandor, your pretty A ok in my book.

  • I hear what you’re saying, Sandée-or! The whole, enormous virtual landscape is so enticing and so terrifying all at the same time. I consider certain bloggers, like you, to be friends because I am almost certain, through your words, that we would hit it off in the Cruel Real World. I express love to unknown bloggers because it feels to me like we have fought so many battles together (sort of) and we are still writing….

    Following, being followed, liking, this stuff does tend to pump a person up for a minute or two and then usually, we are thrown back down where we started. I’m just another dime-a-dozen blogger but the blogging experience has been really incredible so far. I’m rambling. I guess I just want to say, I’m happy to share cyberspace with you!

    Bises,
    Dawn

    • I really do connect with your blog — the whole thing — the erotic aspects have so much truth beyond erotica — you delving into inner space. Your blog is one that I respect because of the independent thoughts and truth. The whole ‘liking’ thing is a rush of instant gratification and I see how people get addicted to it and seek desperate ways, in some cases, to keep it coming. Like Margarita mentioned, after a bit, I hit on a rhythm that was reasonable. Those first few months of blogging, feeling my way around — it was exhausting and a little emotionally draining at times. I used to think — I didn’t sign up for this shit!

  • Firstly, thank you for droping by my site recently. Secondly, well-done post! You’re right in saying how ‘Friend’ is not a word that can be used loosely. It’s much more than that before the trust harvests.

    Regards,
    -Naima

    • Hi Naima! It has astounded me how quickly people claim that they know each other and claim friendship after blogging together for brief periods. I can’t know anyone until I’ve visited three-dimensionally, have experienced years with them. But as always, I can only speak for myself.

  • Agree 100%. It took me going to an actual blogging conference to teach me exactly how dime-a-dozen I am. It really makes you examine your motivations for continuing to write. Great post, Sandee.

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