My Facebook ‘friends’ have the fucking cutest babies and kids. LIKE LIKE LIKE. Makes me wonder what my spawn would have looked like. There’s a guy from way back, one of only two that I thought very briefly of breeding with – literally — I thought of it only seconds. If I weren’t so antithetical to the idea, maybe I would have thought about it longer. Yeah I think my kid might have been cute, kind of smart too, but then there’s what would have happened to it later with the poor skills I had given it to survive. There’s also the issue of my gene pool. But anyway, people don’t think about that part. I could barely figure shit out for myself, so I didn’t think that I should contribute to the population of lost souls. So here is just me, sans spawn, which is more than enough.
I use my “maternal” energy to nurture fools, mostly. But I have enough of the energy left over after. Thank goodness. I was real maternal to those girl scouts I lead on a tour at the cemetery the other day. They got scared and it was all cold. Some of them were shivering. That’s when I got motherly. I even hugged a couple of them.
I’m not like I used to be — one of those get-those-creatures-away-from-me types. My sister had kids and I love them so much that it helped me to have compassion for other children. All those years I closed myself off from that energy.
I enjoy the sound of them now, the way they talk, when they run around like maniacs and jump on your back. I’m not bothered when they cry, though they’re uncomfortable. It’s a lovely energy to be surrounded by. By embracing it, I embrace certain aspects of myself and of being human that reflect something possibly less tainted. I suppose.