Cemeterial Musings

Published October 31, 2013 by Sandee


I eat tofu, walnuts, steamed vegetables and quinoa for lunch and dinner.  I never take vitamins because doctors have told me that it isn’t necessary as long as you eat the right foods.  I was washing my hands after every handshake.  I opened doors with the sleeve of my sweater and stood three feet away from sick people.  So why should I be sick?  I was taking precaution against getting sick while working two jobs – I was trying to help my immune system.  It didn’t work.

In my twenties and thirties, I rarely got sick.  I had the immune system of an Olympian. Then five years ago I started getting a couple of colds a year, which I think might have been because of my hormones shifting.  This last year I didn’t have a cold except now and I’m sure it’s because of the stress of learning a new job and not sleeping, fuck the fact that I was eating very healthily.  Now I’m just pissed and I’m in the pity pot.

It’s Halloween and I wasn’t even able to invite anyone over because I’m sick.  This is the first Halloween in a couple of years I didn’t do anything special.  I have to go to works tomorrow – yes “works” – I’m going to my gallery job, then I have to do two tours at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery.  My jobs are great and I feel settled in at the cemetery now, but I suppose it is strenuous.

I usually never buy cold medicine, but I have some now – people at work told me to get Airborne.  I also have Robitussin and Echinacea.  At the cemetery, I have to be hearty to do two 1.5 mile tours, check people in, light kerosene lanterns and direct traffic, so it’s necessary.  Because of these two jobs however I wasn’t able to plan to celebrate Halloween except for decorating my apartment and purchasing a new set of purple creature horns which I wore during my tour yesterday.  A couple of people complimented me on them and I think I looked sexy but I had no takers, oh well.  This year I thought I might be the “Henry:  The Portrait of a Serial Killer” character for Halloween and walk in the Halloween Parade in Greenwich Village, but I didn’t have time to buy the male wig or the extermination can.  Henry had a distinctive walk.  It would have been great to walk like that in a parade.

So I’ll just sign off now and prepare to watch Fright Night and eat some of the Halloween candy that I bought for the trick-or-treaters who usually don’t come anyway except those couple of times. I wait for them every year like Linus waits for the Great Pumpkin.  And since none of my measures to prevent illness worked, I’m eating Chinese food for dinner, bleh.  On the plus side I guess is that I think I lost weight from working in the cemetery — Happy Halloween!

27 comments on “Cemeterial Musings

  • Oh, Sandee. So sorry. Curl up and watch a scary horror flick! If it’s any consolation I’m due to go out trick or treating with my kids and I already feel exhausted!! Hang in there.Hope you get some knocks on your door! In any case, rest, rest and feel better!

  • Whenever I get sick Sandee, and this year I had two colds (after going 21 months cold-free) — one industrial strength, the other, a sneeze-dotted featherweight, I figure I just caught it from some germy New Yorker. Get well soon. I hope your cold is not a monster.

  • I never got a flu until 2010, then I got the Swine Flu and for three weeks I was dog sick. I suppose I should have got the vaccination shot but my doctor refused to give it because she said the people who made it rushed it out and refused to tell her what they had put in it.

    I hear of people who did get it now developing narcolepsy and it is no longer on the market …so I probably dodged a bullet there.

    Get better soon, Sandee.

  • I’m sorry you weren’t feeling well. ((Hugs)) My remedies are chicken noodle soup, Naked Juice’s Green Machine, and Sudafed. (The Green Machine is a miracle elixar, but it looks, well, like pond scum. Tastes okay, though.)

    • Oh thanks for the tip about Naked Juice — I’m going to buy some. I hate this — I guess everyone does. I miss the days when I didn’t get sick. Oh well. Thanks again Mary!

      • 🙂 When I was a kid in Colorado it was usually the first snow on Halloween. I always yearned to be something light and adorable (much like now) but I was always choked by my big down-hood and my fingers always turned blue. I’m trying to think of a holiday I love…I can’t think of one. My mom’s birthday is Groundhog’s Day….

        • Well I’m right behind you — I only like Halloween. I absolutely abhor xmas! It was fun celebrating Cinco de Mayo in the bar though I have no idea what that holiday’s for.

    • The horns do indeed rock — I did a cemetery tour wearing them and got good tips! — Ahahaha! Thanks Elena — I do feel a little better — I did two tours last night and didn’t feel the need to crawl into a cemetery plot and die so I guess I’m ok.

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