I spent yesterday on the pity-pot, piling one “sorry” thing that had ever happened to me on top of another. Rough day. At home I exhausted myself doing chores, on warrior mode – “Life is hard bitch, stop crying.”
In the basement, I took a neighbor’s clothes out of the washer because it had stopped, and they weren’t there. I might have given them a few minutes, but I wanted to go out later and didn’t have time to wait. When I came back, they had posted a note on a drier that had stopped, with their clothes still in there, “Please do not remove my clothes.”
I was on fire. I had a target for the anger welling in me for two weeks. I went upstairs and wrote a reply, saying that they had a lot of nerve, that they were selfish… I wouldn’t have dared removing the clothes under these circumstances, as I said in the note, because I wasn’t trying to fight with my neighbors. Haha, but I was.
My neighbor came down and claimed the note. “I was about to post this note on top of yours – you can’t do this. You can’t make people wait because you don’t want them touching your clothes (He was being a diva.) It isn’t considerate. I make it my business to be here on time out of consideration for my neighbors. If I can’t make it, I have no problem with people taking my clothes out.”
He disagreed. I put my hand up and told him that I wasn’t going to argue, because his retort was ridiculous.
I was so angry that I left my clothes downstairs. I punched the elevator door, several times. My right hand is still sore today. I think the whole building heard, “my anger.”
I didn’t want to hit him. He just didn’t understand why this was inconsiderate. I wasn’t communicating effectively to him. I was angry at this conflict at the end of a crappy day. Angry at life.
I thought about apologizing – I also threw something — slammed doors really hard. We used to say hello, but now maybe I’ll just have a look of approachability, wiping the slate clean of the conflict. It’s better not to approach someone right after an incident. In the heat of anger, after leaving the basement and punching and throwing and slamming doors, I banged out a letter to management, asking them to mediate.
If I had more emotional equilibrium, I would have done this in the first place, without confronting my neighbor – and — I would have used different phraseology – in the subject line of the email I typed “EMERGENCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” So that was insane. As they say, when angry, refrain from sending that letter, email or text, or from approaching someone, until you have simmered down.
On the cosmic vibe note, yesterday was the date last year, when something so crappy happened to me that I even remember the date. Hmmmm…
1800ukillme 
A good dose of itching powder on his clothes will sort the problem…or anthrax.
Hehehe! I’m just imagining that!
I was just wondering if there was an etiquette regarding shared w/d the other day. I have to say, I’m with you- why should anyone wait for my clothes? I set an alarm so that I don’t waste my time or anyone else’s. If someone removed my clothes I would not be upset, rather, embarrassed for the necessity. If your neighbor is particularly finicky about other people handling his clothing- there is a very easy solution- he needs to stay on top of the clock. Why do we waste time getting upset over such stupid things? My sympathies go out to you, Sandee.
Aha! Setting an alarm clock is an excellent idea — if only everyone could be as conscientious! I’m with you on feeling embarassed when I’m late. This guy was being a total diva. He just doesn’t know any better. Thank you Jessica!
Ha! I love you Sandee, you remind me of me!
I know you’re not meant to send letters or emails when you’re angry, but it feels so good doesn’t it, if only for about 30 seconds anyway…. 😉
Thanks Sista! It sure does feel good but there’s that whole emotional hangover thing — hahaha!
So sorry to hear of your angst. At one point or another, we’ve all spoken, emailed, texted, etc. before we’ve thought things out. That’s what makes us human. But it doesn’t take the sting out, does it? Hope it all blows over soon.
Thanks Carrie! I appreciate your kind words. Today’s a bit better…
Good. And remember, there’s always cake…
Hehehe! Thanks for the ‘sweet’ reminder! Love it!
Yeah. I’ve lived in apartments before, and somebody taking your clothes out of the machine is just to be expected if you can’t get your butt down there in time. It’s really inconsiderate if there’s only a couple of machines. You may have overreacted a teensy bit, but I also understand the way it just boils over sometimes. I overreact, too. It’s one of those things I think I might want to talk to a therapist about. (Not that you need therapy. Unless you think you do. Crap. I’ll just go climb out of the hole I’ve dug, and go home now.)
Ahahaha! No, Mary — I completely understand and appreciate what you’re saying. I do have ‘counselors’ so-to-speak and ‘spiritual guides.’ I try evaluating my actions at the end of the day as honestly as I can. But, being human is being human in the end. I hope this guy doesn’t want to get his girlfriend to kick my ass — hahaha!
Sandee, that guy deserves a nasty note! He’s so out of line and his rational is ridiculous. In your defense, he is being selfish. Maybe he’ll come to his senses. I understand how you feel anger and maybe regretting acting in the heat of anger. On the other hand, you tried to reason with an unreasonable person. It’s hard not to feel angry then! I’ve been there, sister. I think it is wise to hold off on any formal communique until you simmer down though. That’s good advice. I hope you get this issue resolved promptly! Hang in there.
Thanks BF! — I’m glad I wrote this because it’s a reminder to me that stepping back a bit from anger is always wise. I’m glad you can relate too, especially since after these kinds of outbursts I feel like — oh shit — I’m crazy — hahaha!
I agree with Bumble.
I’m sorry though that your feeling this way. We need the cupcake truck. They were giving out FREE cupcakes to anyone wearing orange today. First 100 people.
Aw thanks Audra! I appreciate that…
I’m happy to report that I saw my neighbor today. I offered an apology and shook his hand telling him that I was sorry for the discord and that what went down had little to do with him.
Whew!
This is good news this cupcake truck! I’m headed out to CT next week and I WILL be looking for that truck. I should be sure to have a rainbow collection of clothes to be prepared in the event they give out free cupcakes to the color of the moment again.
I’ll let you know if I hear anything about cupcakes on the news again.
You’re good peeps with your neighbor. But seriously. He shouldn’t leave his clothes sitting in the machine and not expect someone to take them out.
Common courtesy dude!
Good looking out! Ahahaha!
It’s true about this guy. Funny but I wasn’t even really mad at him because I did understand on some level that he simply didn’t know any better. But maybe he learned something after that night, as I did. Perhaps now he’ll reconsider doing that, though after I talked to mgmt. they said they’d issue a note to all tenants telling them to be considerate in the laundry room, etc. I think this guy was just a dumb kid 🙂
Well, hooray that that crappy event is now a year behind you. Regarding your more recent crappy event–that sucks. When you’re dealing with people who are so inconsiderate that they take such an implacable stance, all you can do is try not to let it bug you.
He’s completely in the wrong, though. In those times I’ve used a common washing area, I prefer people not to touch my clothes. HOWEVER, I recognize that I’d better be there when the thing dings, or someone’s gonna move my clothes. It’s what I’D do. If I want to use a washer, I look around for the owner of the clothes. If s/he can’t be found, I neatly pile them in their basket (I’m not folding!) and do my thing.
Thank you Smak! Your comment has me thinking perhaps this gentlemen just isn’t used to using public machines — he did tell me earlier on that he was from Florida and that he thought the people here were mean — haha! That’s one of the reasons I wanted to extend an apology to him — poor dumb kid from Florida — hahaha!.
And when I take people’s clothes out of the drier on occasion I have kinda folded them, or at least like you say, pile them neatly in the basket.
What a weirdo. He should have been ashamed of himself.
I know right?! But I suppose he just didn’t know any better. I must tell you — I was ashamed of myself. Afterward I had to sit down with myself to see where it was coming from.
My most recent encounter in a laundry room was at a hotel in San Diego (wait, that was almost a year ago! November 2012). I was doing laundry (because my hubby and I were away for a whole week and I hate to travel with dirty clothes in my suitcase).
Anyway, the hotel had a laundry room and I met a beautiful, I mean she was unusually drop-dead gorgeous, woman who seemed puzzled by the laundry. She had an accent, was from S America somewhere, was recently married and told me she had to do everything for her husband and didn’t know how to do laundry. So it was fun.
I am sorry you had an icky laundry situation and I like that you shared your emotion-ful period with us and now have shared its resolution. We’ve all been on either side of this–at least I have, both the person leaving something behind that was my responsibility to clean up or bitching at someone in a bigger way than was warranted due to my angry state.
Thanks for being so kind to keep up with my blog. I see we post at about the same rate which I think is FABULOUS!
Hang in there Sandee. You are doing something right and it’s called being human and being as honest as you can at any given moment. I love your stories and your struggles and your humor, as you know.
twinkly
Twinkly! I imagine that must’ve been an interesting encounter, meeting that beautiful woman who had to do everything for her husband. Sounds like she was so beautiful she could’ve found any man who would do her laundry AND drink her bathwater — bahahaha!
That poor guy — while he was being a diva — I did apologize to him a couple days later. I realized, he just didn’t think there was anything wrong in monopolizing the machine like that — ahh city livin’. He’s from Florida — maybe he isn’t accustomed to public laundromats.
As always, I appreciate your comments and the nice things you say!
See ya later!
(((BIG hugs)))
Now about that itching powder… kind of a good idea. ;0)
Heheheee! Thanks for the hugs Veggie Mama!
Anytime, Auntie Sandee! ❤
Weird! I’m still following you but I’m not getting your posts via email again. I’m re-upping. Hope you’re well, SCB!
Stacie! I’m just glad to see you anytime you stop by. As you can see it’s been a while since I’ve blogged. I should probably post more as I’m finding myself posting all this stupid shit in facebook when I should really be writing full out posts — hahaha! Take care — hope all is well!