One Day in the Life of Sandee Denisovich

Published July 22, 2013 by Sandee

Me!

I love saying this as a way to outline a day in my life.  It’s my tribute to Solzhenitsyn.  I don’t mean to diminish the meaning of the book, which is about a Soviet prisoner.

Either way, here’s one day in my roach infested life:

number A – Saw my friend J. who goes to the nudie beach.  I’m planning to go with.  Only thing it costs 45 fucking dollars to take the ferry there.  He says he’d pay, but does that mean I’d have to, you know, put lotion on his buttocks?

number B – I thoroughly enjoyed hugging a man with a southern accent who smelled like cigarettes.

number C – I planned to come home and unfriend someone on Facebook.   Though we were just acquaintances, I thought we had a mutual interest in each other’s lives.  But while this person is ‘liking’ up everybody else’s posts, they have yet to ‘like’ anything I post.  I have other FB ‘friends’ who ignore me, but with this person it’s rather curious.  It would be fine if they hadn’t acted so friendly and interested when I used to see them.  Wull, anyways, I’m trying to sell books and FB is my poor ass attempt at marketing — when I feel like it.  So when I got home, I decided, maybe I won’t unfriend them just yet.

number D – I got a sweet gift from a blogger — but if I told you what it was I’d have to kill you.

number E – Okay so, I watched a man and a woman emerge from a single unisex public toilet — hubba hubba!

number F — I’m ‘watering’ my neighbor’s apartment while he’s away.  It’s all clean in there since he married his girlfriend.  And I think she threw all his cookies away.  I was planning on grabbing a few but when I looked at the shelves where he usually keeps them, there weren’t any.   I mean — this man stocked up on cookies like he was a Keebler elf — it was insane — once I counted 15 packages of cookies.  So I just dropped off his mail, watered the plants and got the hell out of there.  I did stare at his liquor bottles, tempted to open one just to smell it, but as people who know me know, I need to stay thirty yards away from liquor because it turns me into a damn Gremlin.  The cool thing is that he finally got rid of that furry toilet seat cover.  I HATE anything furry in the bathroom, especially in the vicinity of the toilet with all those bacteria and microscopic organisms — ew!  My ex had one and I was always uncomfortable in his apartment because I knew there was one in the bathroom.

number G — I read this great post on the Outlier Collective about cellulite! Made me proud to have it!

G’night!

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31 comments on “One Day in the Life of Sandee Denisovich

  • Hahah! I think furry anything in the bathroom is disgusting, too! Sick!
    I read the post on cellulite and was very pleased. The thing is, I don’t remember cellulite being around like the plague when we were kids, do you? Which means we’re consuming more fat and crap then we did 40 years ago. I also don’t remember people exercising the way they do today, sure, there was Jack Lalane, but you’d think with everything we know and do now that cellulite would be obliterated. Isn’t that weird?
    Oh well, I guess we just have to wear it proudly. Maybe one day it will be seen as a sign of beauty? Nah, not likely. 😀

    • I tell my sister, who’s eighteen younger than I am, that when we were kids, everybody was skinny. Interesting. And yeah, there was no proliferation of gyms the way there are now — side-by-side with all these chain restaurants and such. Good ‘ol Jack Lalaine — I loved the organ music in the background while he was doing his jumping jacks!

      Yeah Lisa, let’s keep dreaming on about the cellulite — it could happen — hahaha!

  • Your post made me realize I haven’t seen any updates from your public FB page. I know I’ve ‘liked’ it so I must not be getting them in my news feed. FB is so frustrating. Or are you talking about your personal page?

    And yes, you will have to rub lotion on his buttocks…

    • Carrie you crack me up! — hahaha!

      Yeah this is my personal page I’m referring to. I rarely post anything on my Mean-Spirited Tales page. I probably should — ah well. I admire your marketing efforts and I’m glad that The Seneca Scourge is doing well. I was telling somebody about it the other day. Great plot!

  • Soooooo I typed up a comment and somehow it ended up on another blog? Damn WordPress.

    I love your ” numbers” and so sad about the cookies. Gotta have snacks !
    I am enjoying the Outliers series too.

    • I’m just glad you wound up back here! I guess my friend’s new wife, who I’ve also known over twenty years, went in there and told him what was what about the cookies! And double yays for her if it was her idea to get rid of that filthy toilet seat cover! Hahaha!

  • Hey look on the bright side… When he says to you “It puts the lotion on the skin” in a really creepy voice, you’re outside and can run like hell… especially if he hands it to you in a bucket, even if it’s a sand castle shaped one 😉

    • Oh Claire! — This just gave me a laugh! You are funny lady! I can picture that scene — him naked (he’s over sixty btw), me naked, running like hell, my ass flapping up and down!

  • Well, it looks an average day. You know, everything good and bad left an emptiness when it stopped. But if it was bad, the emptiness filled up by itself. If it was good you could only fill it by finding something better. Great post!

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