Gothic Days

Published February 17, 2013 by Sandee

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An overcast day only hinting of sun suits my mood.  I like taking walks in it.  When dusty clouds tinged with peach, pink, turquoise and orange hover, my thoughts are romantic.  Pathetically I imagine living in that old gothic building jutting over the Hudson, or have a cotton-headed fantasy about the preference bestowed upon me by the universe, wherein hordes of lovely people who like my books buttress my existence with praise and favor in all manner, form and “activity.”

The texture of clouds and colors on these days are the canvas for the depths of my thoughts and for the melancholy hue of self-indulgence.  I’m not afraid to allow myself to be seen, to reveal myself in this atmosphere, and can discuss with myself, out loud – if walking on a quiet road — how to handle an ongoing conflict with the obese service worker, or the blatant truth about the direction of my life, or the spiritual benefit of never blaming anyone other than myself.

Centuries old artists capture the beauty of the powdery, melancholy sky as a palette against the flora or peasant’s valley.  As a transporting exercise in recreation, I imagine the woods across the street against a pastel textured, dark-hued sky a hundred and fifty years past.

I prefer this to the harassment and shock of a sheer blue day.  The demand, the brightness shining on every flaw of my life are too much for me to endure at times.  The intrusion is audacious — it embodies the collective idea that it’s the perfection of days and that I should be impelled to romp about in it to serve my health.

What crap is this?  The sun burning my eyes, my chest clenched with the weight of all this expectation.  Bah.  My name is Sandee, and I’m not a great fan of the overbearing sun.

cloudy2cloudy4woodland pathPerkins

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46 comments on “Gothic Days

  • Sandee be thy name: I love these two phrases: “melancholy hue of self-indulgence”; and, “the harassment and shock of a sheer blue day.”
    Good stuff!
    G

    • Thanks TW! I’m going to invest in a nice camera soon so I can take nice photos on days like this often — all the ones below except for the two taken with my cheap phone camera — I got from wikimedia commons.

  • I never knew you wrote prose pieces.. what a pleasant surprise
    “The demand, the brightness shining on every flaw of my life are too much for me to endure at times. “.. that alone could make a poem.. I know this feeling well and I too prefer a hint of cloud cover, makes me feel better..
    much enjoyed this!

  • I love what you wrote here, lady. I call this feeling, “Expansive.” It does have a romantic quality to it. I don’t think everyone experiences these moments, to be honest. It’s a little spiritual, isn’t it? It’s like you feel your place in the universe and it makes you question and think deep thoughts. Maybe it’s the weather or a hiding sun that brings it on?
    For me it’s the beach — something about the waves coming in and going out and the sound and the sand beneath my feet… I always feel that euphoric, sort of expansive feeling there.
    Anyway, carry on my beautiful friend. You don’t have to have a fantasy that people love your writing, we do!!! LOVE!
    Have a great Day!!
    Lisa

    • Thanks Lisa! I like “expansive.” I think I’ll muse a bit on that word 🙂 I enjoy the beach also. I feel really peaceful and relaxed hearing the sound of the waves. I hope you’re enjoying your day as well. I’m off now to do laundry — yay!

    • Thanks! I took the last two with my free phone camera so the quality isn’t the best, but I was hoping everyone would see the idea. I’ve got to get a real camera soon — I do enjoy taking pictures.

    • Hmmm… It’s really interesting to see how different people react to the atmosphere of a day. Today’s a pretty bright one for sure. I just got back from jogging in it — not so bad.

  • Wow. You outdid yourself with this post, Sandee. Lovely. You always make me think of things in different ways. I never really thought so specifically about climate conditions influencing my interactions with others or my outlook, although I know bright sunshine makes me feel better. But melancholy gray days have their purpose in my life too.

    • Aw thanks Sistasertraline! I’m glad you liked it.

      Haha! — I must say that that post was just a gag! I always say I’d never actually sign up for online dating, but you know what they say, never say never.

  • This reminds me of a poem that I wrote when I was a teenager. I mean that as a compliment. Ugh, let’s start over.

    That was wonderful. I like an overcast day myself. There’s nothing complicated about cloudy days. Lovely, Sandee.

  • Sandee-
    you don’t need that photograph in this piece as your beautiful words masterfully paint a clear, vivid image in my mind. Wonderfully done

  • Those are beautiful photos, Sandee. I’ve always preferred nighttime to daytime, and cloudy or partly cloudy to sunny days. They’re more interesting, more moody, and I totally get what you mean about the melancholy hue of self-indulgence—well said, that’s the perfect way of describing it.

  • Sandee, this was just magnificent! The pictures, your words — all of it. I like that you talk out loud to yourself — I do that a lot myself. That path — is that the one you walk on? It’s gorgeous. I love cloudy days too. And great big thunderstorms.

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