Here’s my Match.com profile – whatcha think?

Published February 10, 2013 by Sandee

Likes:

  • Enjoy calling the cops on noisy groups of people
  • Watching water boil
  • Plunging the toilet
  • Taking long bus rides through dilapidated neighborhoods
  • Setting my wigs on fire after wearing them seven times
  • Celebrating Halloween all year
  • Eating snacks with Hattie, Jimmy and Robert at the Hebrew Home for the Aged at Riverdale
  • Making five ingredient toast
  • Recreating Public Service Announcements from the 1950s

I’ma use this picture of me with the piercing eyes that my sister took Xmas time.  I’m wearing my blue terry cloth bathrobe!

asylumii

Maybe I’ll catch one come Valentines Day, huh?  Wish me luck!

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96 comments on “Here’s my Match.com profile – whatcha think?

  • You are freaking hilarious… I love the picture. Tee hee.. Wanna bet a buck slit of men will email you? This post should be freshly pressed. I’m about to pee myself from laughing

    • I knew you’d love it Lynne 😉 — thanks! Ahahahaha!

      I’m not really sending in a match.com profile but if I did it would be this — most of the people lie anyway — ahaha!

  • Bwhahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! I just about fell off my chair! LOL! This is hilarious! I’m sure you’ll snag your lover boy with this list of activities. And just because you’re wearing an old terry cloth bathrobe doesn’t hide that gorgeous face. Nice try!

  • Dear Woman you are so freaking funny. Way to keep it real baby 🙂 Plunging toilets– haaa
    who doesn’t love toast. You would catch a man in a second…. that robe is to die for. I have the same one 🙂 I don’t look as stunning though. FIVE ingredient toast? Sounds complicated? damn I am cracking up here.. thanks Sandeeeeee

    • ‘Who doesn’t love toast,’ — I know right!? Hahaha! I’m glad you could see why this would be a most compelling profile — la di dah!

      Great minds, great taste — you can’t lose with blue terry cloth bathrobe.

      Thanks for the vote of confidence!

  • re-creating 1950’s service announcements?
    like “stay away from fast women, they’ll give you VD?” type service announcements?

    🙂
    You crack me up!

    • Me too — I thought my appetite for toast might make me seem like I have some depth!

      I do seriously eat this — it’s toast with olive oil, ginger, cinnamon, salt and honey — I toast it first on both sides in the broiler then put the olive oil and honey on it before the rest of the stuff — mmm mmm!

  • Do. It. I reckon you’d get a few replies, you sound a damn sight more interesting than some of the weedy, squeaky voiced, soft handed dweebs that have approached me on line……you could title it ‘Twisted Fire Starter’!

  • So pretty. I have a white terry robe. I use it to be lazy and not dry off after I exit my bath. As for like, I like to iron. I don’t do it often but there is something very soothing about watching the wrinkles leave.

    • While I was joking with this — I always swear I’d never use a dating site — after the egging on by the bloggers to do it — maybe I will! For at least a gag and something to write about. I know the background checks are crucial — I imagine these sites might draw in folks looking for easy prey — sad.

  • Auntie Sandee,
    Somewhere out there is a very lucky person… Sara and I read this together, and laughed, and agreed that you were funny, then we cried a bit as we weren’t as funny. But now we’re over it, and we can let you know that we think you’re the best.
    Le Clown

    • Awww, you guys! ~Hugs~ Thanks for the vote of confidence. Maybe I’ll meet that insane hunk of my dreams, my ‘likes’ eliciting emotional extremes and all that! I do enjoy a lugubrious psychedelic conversation from time to time.

  • HAHAHAHAHA…this is AWESOME! I especially love the one about setting the wigs on fire after wearing them 7 times 🙂 And you should definitely go with the picture…the robe really classes the profile up. LOL

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