Unguent for the tortured soul

Published January 18, 2013 by Sandee


I left Mean-Spirited Tales at this book store where I want to have a reading, because the associate said the owner needs to look through my book first.  “Call in a week,” he said.

It’s weeks past the time he said to call.  So I’m sure the owner has read the entire book by now and is waiting anxiously for my call.  I’ll bet she’s all like, “Gosh, when’s Sandee calling?  We need her!  This Mean-Spirited Tales, it’s unguent, for the tortured soul…”

Of course it’s unguent — it has sadism, a beheading, alcoholics, liver pâté, the devil, an angel and some cats.

Do you know how many souls I’ve healed with my book?  It frightens me to think of it.

My other reading was at the Indian Road Cafe.  Patrons were there eating and talking.  Good thing I invited lots of people and screamed the stories to drown the patrons out.  After while I couldn’t hear any patrons.  Or maybe they were just fascinated by my hypnotic story-telling skill – yes, that’s it.  No wait – they were captivated by the creature horns on my head, by my piercing glare.

The Indian Road Café is a nice atmosphere and the food is great, but the book store has a podium!  I’ve always wanted to pontificate behind a podium.  No horns needed to draw attention to my flapping maw – I’ll be the center of everyone’s eye, standing tall.

I need to end this bookstore owner’s anticipation for my call though.  I’ll hurry and call and schedule the date for my reading, that way she can celebrate it over the weekend.  Who says Aunt Sandee isn’t altruistic.



41 comments on “Unguent for the tortured soul

  • Podiums are legit. Good luck. I feel bad that I haven’t read through your book all the way yet, but that will give me something to do in my down time this weekend. (I say get your own podium and just carry it around with you. I’m sure you know a guy who knows a guy, right?)

  • Go call!!! I really want to do a reading sometime…after I finish my books that is…because all I have right now is an old book of poetry…that I won’t even tell people about…Let me live vicariously through you!! 😉

  • With poetry it seems so much easier because there are so many open mike nights for poetry. With a book I think they want you to be famous or something — haha! I was lucky the nice cafe guy in my neighborhood let me read there at all. One day maybe you’ll do it. You have to be ready. That’s really humble that you’ve kept your work to yourself. I should probably do the same and focus on other parts of my life instead of fantasizing about being a writer.

  • You are not alone, Sandee, zillions of musicians play music for patrons who talk, shout and order throughout their ‘sets’ and these are in places that are for music, not poetry or books! My ex-husband nearly throttled one of my friends for chatting loudly – she was so loud the microphone picked her up and all we could hear was HER! She considers herself a very polite, demure woman. She also didn’t get an invite to the next gig.
    So, try not to take it personally, as far as the crew at the IRC were concerned they were there for the food and the booze. Except, for lucky you, who drew a very large audience in the scheme of things and I’m not kidding around about that.

    • Damn — how annoying is that! The mic even picked up her voice? If that’s polite, what isn’t — hahaha!

      I’m so glad that things actually quieted down at my reading. When I first began I was a bit nervous because of this one table of people by the bar. I exaggerated in my post about screaming but I do remember thinking ‘shit — I’ve got to talk really loud now — I’ll be darned if I let these guys rain on my parade!’

      It’s funny you say ‘don’t take it personally’ — because I kind of sort of did for a fleeting second. I thought — they think I’m a nobody huh? Well, I’ll show them — hahahaha! Thanks again for coming Annie girl!

    • I’m in one of these moods today — I didn’t call yet — I was just thinking today about not putting anymore energy into marketing this book after March, which will be a year after I started with it all. I’m thinking after a year of this effort, no more facebook, blogging, etc. — or any effort in this area. I feel like I should just focus on my work-a-day life world and retirement. We’ll see… I could still get a podium for my apartment and invite people over so I can preach to them — hahaha!

    • I thought of recording my last reading. I was so preoccupied I totally forgot to ask someone to record it for me.

      In my previous comment to Lynne, I muse about the idea of not bothering with marketing this book anymore. It takes a lot of time — so I don’t know. I wrote the post I suppose to try to inspire myself, but really, I’m on the verge of just moving on and away from it all. Thank you for your kind words BF — I really appreciate it!

  • I say go ahead and call. I was hesitant to call someone concerning a great position offered to me. My imagination went awry until I got the nerve to give the offerer a call. Come to find out, the offerer was under the weather. To make a long story short, this person ended up encouraging me. AHA! Evr’y thing that I had before imagined was squashed!
    You may find what you desire once you call. Much success to you and your book works. Thank you for sharing.

    • Thanks for sharing your story. You remind me that when we actually take action, the outcome may be better than expected, or at least not as bad as we expected. Thanks for stopping by!

    • Thanks for checking Becca! I did. I’ve been out for a bit. For some reason I registered with my aol account when I normally get all my notifications in gmail — so I didn’t see it right away. I’m just glad I got the notification. I reading through my blogs slowly today — I’m looking forward to reading your letter to ‘Girlfriends’ 🙂 Thanks again!

    • I’m so preoccupied with taxes now — this is the worse possible time for me to be stuck like this — once that’s out of the way I’ll focus on this. There are also a couple of other things I have to do too.

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