For asexuals cake is sex

Published December 20, 2012 by Sandee

Will CottonWill Cotton – The Daily Beast

(Cat forwarded this cake link to me a bit back — I’m in love with it.)

I watched a documentary on asexuality.  The documentary depressed me.  I wrote a novel with the premise that platonic relationships don’t exist.  I’m not implying that platonic means asexual.  I just believe that people want their sexuality validated.  It doesn’t have to be overt.

I try to pick them out, asexuals.  I’m intrigued by people who don’t have sexuality.  I know some of these people.

One was a beautiful man.  But…nothing.  So there was no reciprocal energy.  I had nothing to feed on.  This is subtle below the surface energy I speak of, not detectable flirting.  He was young – when I refer to my interaction I don’t mean that I considered something between us.  Though I didn’t have a desire to be with him, there still might be sexual energy in there, somewhere — helloooooo.

I was old enough to be his mother.  People may think that he didn’t radiate sexual energy toward me because I was much older, or maybe he was gay.  You may not want to have sex with the old woman but you want your own sexuality validated in some way, which would involve giving out a vibe, flirting.  Besides, I can see sexuality without interacting with a person.  With him I didn’t feel it in his aura.  I can feel sexual energy even coming from gay men if not directed exactly at me.

He had never been involved with anyone.  I assume he was a virgin.  Someone told me that he had finally begun seeing a woman.  It was hard for me to conceptualize.  In this program last night there were asexuals who had been involved with people.  Some had to explain to their partners that they had no desire for sex, others went through the motions.

This asexual group in the documentary marched in the Gay Pride Parade in San Francisco.  They are after all part of an alternative sexual movement.  Though initially curious, watching them made me irritated.  I turned off the program when I started getting heartburn.  Am I that disturbed by this?

These asexuals have events, parties, meetings, and their icon is cake.  Cake replaces sex for them.  They put cake on their invitations, use it in slogans.  They have love affairs with cake. People know that I’m a cake enthusiast – see my side-bar.

I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum, but I have something in common with asexuals — this is just wrong.  I love cake.  I love sex.  Cake never replaces sex.  Not even that sexy cake up there.

36 comments on “For asexuals cake is sex

  • Hmmm, I love cake AND sex, too, Sandee. And I’m also happy that people who do not experience sexual desire are feeling freer to express that, and being who they are instead of trying to conform to some idea of normal that’s imposed on them. I must say, I like seeing the diversity in perfect expression of Self! xoxoM

  • I stole your cake picture. Had to show it to a friend of mine that is a baker, told her I wanted it.
    The asexual thing I don’t get. I don’t care what people do but it seems so strange to think that a person could develop with no sex drive at all. But if they have cake parties I like them!

    • This cake is definitely something! Having no sexuality is hard for me to conceive. I did however get more of an understanding from it watching that show. But it disturbed me a little obviously. At least they like cake!

  • This is interesting. I really don’t have any sex drive at this point in my life. Not even with myself! But my life was in no way asexual before lol. I think I used up all of my sexuality lol. Seriously! I also know someone who is asexual. He was a friends of my daughter and was practically family. He would get friends to appear to be his girlfriend sometimes when he felt weird about it in a crowd. But really, my gaydar was up and I could swear that really he was just gay and in the closet.

    • This program did talk about people who are asexual at different parts of their life. At least you can say that at one time you had the pleasure of experiencing sex. I’ll be your instincts were right about your daughter’s friend.

  • Wow! I can’t believe that the asexuals actually formed a group and participated in a demonstration! What was their slogan? Did they carry banners?

    I’m not big on cake, all I can say is that if you are ever in a sexless marriage, you will start eating your own body weight in dry-roasted peanuts in no time…which will then lead to a startling increase in that very same body weight. Then it will be time to start blogging. Or jogging. (both?)

    End of the World as We Know It Bisous,

  • Sandee, can I borrow your cake picture for an award post I want to do? I will, of course, link it to this post. I’ll something like, “This cake is better than sex…” I know here it’s instead of sex, but just as a little joke. Why should they be mutually exclusive?

    • That’s exactly what I say — they aren’t mutually exclusive! By all means, please use the cake! In a way it is better than sex — it is actually sex — ’cause it crossed my mind when I first saw it!

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