Art Movie

(Warning:  Adult content.  Also, as Gfb always says, pointless.)

There’s a sensationalistic sound-effect in The Night of the Living Dead that’s louder than the sound of the rest of the movie — the part when the zombie eats the bug off the tree and when the zombies eat the dead people, pulling flesh off of the bone with their teeth.

George Romero amps up the slurpy, chewing sound —  a great grade b horror movie gross-out effect.  He blots out all other sound in the movie and puts emphasis on this.  You hear zombies grind up every bit of bug and chew every sinew in all its juicy goodness.

I thought of something they might have used to make this particular sound.

When I was a teenager – a friend said she heard a man masturbating in the staircase.  I said, “How do you hear someone masturbate?”  She began making rhythmic slurpy chewing sounds with her mouth.  It was hilarious!

Wouldn’t it be rad, a big fat joke on the audience, if I made a zombie movie and had sound effects from an unorthodox source, let’s say like the one my friend talked about and maybe also the female version, or any variation or combination (wink, wink) on that?

We’d have people in the studio masturbating with the mike right there.  In my movie, The Zombies of Sandor, the zombie-eating sound-effects would all be from masturbation and stuff.

It’d be…like an art movie!  The sound effect of somebody getting slapped in the face would actually come from somebody in the studio getting slapped in the face with a penis.

Oh why Sandee couldn’t you just use someone actually chewing into a microphone for the eating sound effect?  Be-cause, I say, just be-cause.