Awkward moments in beauty

Published December 11, 2012 by Sandee


I like to think that I’m artfully bummy.  I know how to be stylish though.  “When she does it, she does it right,” someone said.  I do care what I look like.

But people think that their opinion of their own looks is objective.  I’m pretty, or I’m handsome, they say.  Just a form of self love, maybe?  What else could it be when you say, ‘I’m pretty’ like it’s a statement etched on a library façade?  Some of us believe we’re good-looking, and that it’s a cold fact.  I’ve always said that it all depends on who’s looking at me.  Some days I stand out, other days, I blend in.  It’s more important to focus on having personality.  (Hehe — this is what all aging, average-looking people say.)

I had to have personality, a sense of humor, to have taken some of the comments that I’ve gotten.  At this age when a man stares, I think he just wants to rob me, so I’ll take all the compliments I can get.  But I’ve gotten interesting comments throughout the years.

One coworker said that I looked like Pam Grier.  Pam Grier was fine.  I do not look like no Pam Grier.  I know it’s possible for me to look like a woman who has huge tits when I don’t really have any.  But — really?  This person was on psychedelics, obviously.

I unwittingly jumped in front of a woman in Kentucky Fried Chicken.  I got into a confrontation with the woman and her friend — I was young and stupid.  Outside, once I had gotten waaaaay down the hill, one yelled, “Crackhead!  You ugly bitch!”  I wanted to cry but told her that she was a pussy for telling me this standing a block away.

I do have a penchant for the raggedy.  To top it off I was skinny with platinum hair, a nose ring, and had ordered corn on the cob and biscuits in a Kentucky Fried Chicken – I never ate their chicken.  The bitches thought I was broke.  I could see why calling me an ugly crackhead bitch was a convenient insult.

When I wasn’t blonde, my head was shaved.  “I love a bald headed girl,” this guy said as I was leaving a club.  Yay me!  This was a Latin club where the women have mucho hair, so I might say that it was the highest compliment.

Finally my friend’s mother raved about my mother’s beauty.  “Her skin’s like peaches and cream and her hair is beautiful, and she’s soooo tall,” she said.  “But what about Sandee,” my friend said.  “Oh, she’s all right, but her mother…”  When I want to pretend that I don’t care about my looks, I just remember this.  Ouch!

43 comments on “Awkward moments in beauty

  • sigh.. we can pretend all we want not to care but we do, always. Right? I keep thinking I’ll out grow it with age.. but it is not meant to be. I have had people tell me I look ‘softer” with longer hair.. what does that mean? And now that it is short– I must look like a hard ass again? What?
    I’ve seen your picture.. and you are beautiful. And your personality, well it makes you even brighter( and not because you are average looking)

    • Audra you are so kind! Thanks for the compliment — I’m going to carry it with me all week! — hahahaha! What you say about out growing caring about our looks — my grandma — 90 is still concerned with what she looks like. I think we’re in trouble!

  • Oh my sis! How can you not be beautiful if we are related?! LMAO!!! I kid. No, wait, I’m serious! Consider yourself Pretty Ugly! I do and I too am Pretty Ugly–most of us are. Sometimes we are Pretty and sometimes we are Ugly. Even the most beautiful people in the world are Pretty Ugly. Its all about the way you choose to present yourself most times. I have seen you look blindly beautiful and there have been times when you have been blindly ugly! LOL!!!! But, I think you should embrace the Pretty more often…… really works for you and it will give me an excuse to buy some prescription sun glasses.

  • When I was thirteen an old woman once tore a picture of a very young Elvis Presley out of a newspaper, he was about eleven or twelve and she showed it to me and said: you look just like him.

    On the other hand everyone now tells me I look my grandfather and he was as ugly as sin.

    Personally I am sticking with the old woman and Elvis. It get’s me through the day and it is better to live in illusion then despair.

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