Love love LOVE when people post their random thoughts on Facebook. How inspiring.
Here are my favorites:
– Gettin’ ready for the big blow out — yeah-eee yeah-eeeeee!
– Today iz whoop ass Friday up in here!
And the best — Facebook food cravings:
– Some Kentucky Fried be nice right about now.
Well. Here’re snippets of thought I thought of posting on Facebook individually, but then I thought better of it, but then thought, fuck it, I’ll just put them all in my blog, like, fuck it. These are my random thoughts on the days they were thought:
4/19/12 – I want my uterus out.
4/28/12 – I like boogers, to pick them, yes.
6/19/12 – Out of toilet paaaapeeer?! What’ll I do now?! Eeeyaaaahh!
6/19/12 – Uh oh. Shouldn’t have used that in place of toilet paper.
6/19/12 – What does one do for flaming anus?
7/26/12 – I just love the King of Queens.
7/30/12 – Betty White’s a sexy bitch! Fuck y’all!
8/13/12 – I’m ‘bout to kill a mouse up in here!
8/28/12 – Anybody ever wonder what old people look like when they’re having sex?
9/15/12 – Does anybody else ever wonder what would happen if you shut off your phone and computer and never came outside again how many people would give a shit?
9/15/12 – Do you ever wonder if you’ll die alone?
9/15/12 – Y’all should know that everyone dies alone – after all you weren’t born with anyone else, silly — I mean you came into this world alone. Even if you died with a bunch of other people you’d still be dying alone, right? Anyone else ever think of that? Huh? Holla back.
9/15/12 – Gee, I really could use a Fluff a Nutter sandwich right about now.
9/15/12 – I hate food.
10/19/12 – I love winter nights.
10/22/12 – I hate pus!
10/23/12 – I love furry slippers on a winter’s morn. Don’t y’all?
10/24/12 – Pork chops! Applesauce! Whassup whassup!
10/24/12 – Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!
11/12/12 – I wonder who’ll come to my funeral when I die, I mean, it shouldn’t matter but it kind of does at the same time if you know what I mean.
11/16/12 – Team Bella.
12/9/12 – A&P Weeeeeooooooooooo! ‘memba that?
So, that’s it people — I’m very very sorry. I’m especially sorry for reeling you in with a title that might be perceived as romantic when it was only a part of a stream of crazy.
Yes you had me at the romantic title and then i have fallen off my chair . and am now in Pain ….lololololololololololololol 🙂 my personal fave ………”Team bella ” …..lolol ……
i am not on fb ……… fluffier nutter ! amazing ……..
thanks for the falling off the chair thing …………….
here please have some cake ….:) !!!!!! xx
x
It’s a pleasure to oblige Cat! I’m glad you’re laughing because goodness knows, I laugh when I write it — Oh my God! — that cake is…it’s…it’s — Oh my God — I want it — nooooowwww! — It’s decadent, evil, stupendous, beautiful, fabulous, enchanting! Thank you thank you piled up on top of thank you! xoxo
I can’t relate to “I hate food.”
I’m at the point where I live for food.
I’ll come to your funeral and I’ll read this list and make everyone laugh. 🙂
You see now that’s what funerals should be all about!
Sandee– this is by far the funniest thing I have read on WordPress. Damn I am still laughing. Thanks for that!
Oh thanks Audra! I appreciate that — I made myself laugh as well. I tried getting your recent post but couldn’t open it. It looked like there was a shout-out — I thank you kindly! I’ll try again later…
there was but I deleted the post.. sorry. My damn itchy delete key finger.
It’s our right to delete our own posts whenever we want I say.
thanks for saying that
Ha!! I like the one about imagining the old people having sex! I have really tried to do that before when seeing an old couple while I am at the grocery store or something lol. It ain’t pretty, I tell you! here’s my facebook you would be a fun FB friend!https://www.facebook.com/#!/CRB46
I’m starting to wonder if I mention old people and sex so often because I’m getting there and still want sex! Hahahaha! I just clicked on your link and sent you a friend request on fb…
cool thanks!
Yay!
I will warn you, I never say anything cool on facebook hardly lol. I need more fun friends instead of just people I have known for a billion years. Looking forward to adding you sweety! You brighten my day!
Thank you Carla! Yay!
Yeehaw… Lol
Hehehehehe!
Although I have to admit I haven’t experienced many of your wonderfully sane thoughts, I definitely have never thought, “I hate food.” If only I could think, “I hate sugar.” Then I’d eat healthy 100% of the time rather than my usual 90/10. 🙂
We’re in the same boat! Sugar is my drug of choice. I don’t eat sugary snacks every day but I put it in all three cups of coffee I drink, and I do eat honey every day. If I’m not eating sugary snacks I’m waiting for the day when it’s okay to eat them. I actually do think eating regular food is a pain in the butt — you have to balance your diet, buy the food, prepare it, take time out of your schedule to eat it. I’d rather be tube fed and get to eat all the cake and candy I want!
Well, that would certainly ensure a long healthy life. 😉
Out of toilet paaaapeeer?! What’ll I do now?
Use your hands?
Ugh! I mean, ah, yes! Note to self.
The first FB post you listed made me want to follow your entire blog immediately.
Ahahaha! Thanks Becca! I’m glad you liked it! See you soon…
Oh Sandee! The first too alone had me laughing like crazy! I want to know what it’s like to be inside your brain.
That sounds gross. Oh well.
I think it’d be wonderful and awful at the same time to be in my head. I’m glad you laughed at the first one because I wondered if it might be too weird and flat. Thanks MFE!
You crack me up Sandee! I always think really seriously before actually writing anything on FB because I’m never really inclined to do so except when I’m drunk and or suicidal. People get worried for no good reason. The next day, I’m back to writing naughty stuff in my blog and chatting merrily with my blog friends!
Bisous,
Dawn
I tell you, you’d be in good company writing like this on FB, I’ve seen it all. I’m glad I could crack you up. I even see a little humor in your comment, dark and wry. I just hope you’re on the upswing and feeling naughty and bouncy.
Haha holla back girl! Your inner thoughts are about as random and weird as my own. I think we must be soul sisters or something like that!
I do identify with your sense of humor — so I think you’re right!
That was the funniest stream of crazy I have ever seen.
“Flaming Anus” would be a great name for a metal band.
And, as I’ve mentioned on this blog many times before, I have no interest in granny porn. So stop asking!
What will it take for me to convince you about genre of the porn industry?
For some reason, my mind flashed to that scene in A Clockwork Orange. You know the one; his eyes were pried open…
You almost made me choke on my coffee! I don’t remember the scene but I imagine it.
Say what now? Hahahaha! The truth is crazier than fiction.
You know that’s right!
having my uterus out is the best thing that could ever happen to me! So, there.
I have a friend who’s really happy she had a hysterectomy. I have these dern fibroids. They don’t really bother me, just my vanity. I work out all the time but my stomach protrudes they’re so damn big. I was told they might shrink in menopause but I think they’ve grown. I haven’t had them checked in the last year because I didn’t have insurance. If I get insurance when I go back to work in April, I think I just might schedule the surgery. I’m just afraid of being put to sleep. They say they might be able to do an epidural however. Yeah, I think it’s time…
Yeah, we had talked about this before. I had to beg for about 20 years for the doctors to get it out. For me, it was not only the size but the pain and the awful periods. It was like a broken dam.
You’re too young, they kept saying. What if you want to have kids, they kept saying. Grrrrrrrrr
I’m the opposite. I’ve held onto this stupid uterus waaaaay too long.
Imagine all the money saved in tampons and advil! I should sue my doctors for all the money I had to spend on all that crap!
Wouldn’t that be something! Oh yeah, plus for pain and suffering!