It’s tacky to use photo shopping to help temper my Facebook envy? Hell naw! I too, can be fabulous. Why shouldn’t I go to soirees in San Tropez, Marrakech, Transylvania and the South of France? I can cut and paste a lover who coos at me as we row down the Seine. I’ll photo shop dreadlocks on my head, put a cleft in my chin! Oh you didn’t know I had a cleft? Well, yah I do.
Oh why I’ll still weep scrolling through Facebook pages of people who’ve actually done these things. Thank God I don’t drink anymore. In a fit of self-loathing, I totally see myself ripping the keyboard from the computer and hurling that bottle of Jim Beam against the wall. And I’d so kick the TV screen in.
But after a certificate of completion from the Acme School of Photo Shopping, I’ll put my skills to the test. I’ll have the pleasure of knowing that someone looking at my Facebook page really believes that I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro with Diana Ross, Cher and Mick Jagger.