Late last night I shoveled a salad of barley, edamame, cashews, spinach and brussel sprouts down my throat. I had been exercising. I needed sustenance.
The barley concoction got stuck in the middle of my esophagus while I lay in bed trying to sleep.
I finally slept and – you guessed right – had a nightmare starring Creepy Dolly Kill Kill and The Man with the Sguiggly Hair.
After a gothic struggle with the doll in a room lit by a candelabra, I dragged her from underneath the bureau and ripped off her plasticine face, which rendered her mute. No longer could she taunt through cherry red lips, “Dolly want to kill kill.”
You should have seen it yo! I ripped Dolly’s face right off of her head and threw it into the hall!
That’s when I saw… him… the Sguiggly-Haired One, creeping toward me from around the corner, up to no damn good.
Horrified at the sight of him in my dream, I awakened upon hearing myself moan, cow-like, “mawrrrrrrrr,” a dull crying out against the monster, I suppose, that permeated the first dimension. It’s like waking yourself up with your own snoring. That clump of barley was stuck still in the center of my chest.
So this is what barley salad did to me. I’m looking at the salad now and it’s so unassuming, so pretty. Would I be a fool to eat it again? My folly shall soon be revealed…