Late last night I shoveled a salad of barley, edamame, cashews, spinach and brussel sprouts down my throat. I had been exercising. I needed sustenance.
The barley concoction got stuck in the middle of my esophagus while I lay in bed trying to sleep.
I finally slept and – you guessed right – had a nightmare starring Creepy Dolly Kill Kill and The Man with the Sguiggly Hair.
After a gothic struggle with the doll in a room lit by a candelabra, I dragged her from underneath the bureau and ripped off her plasticine face, which rendered her mute. No longer could she taunt through cherry red lips, “Dolly want to kill kill.”
You should have seen it yo! I ripped Dolly’s face right off of her head and threw it into the hall!
That’s when I saw… him… the Sguiggly-Haired One, creeping toward me from around the corner, up to no damn good.
Horrified at the sight of him in my dream, I awakened upon hearing myself moan, cow-like, “mawrrrrrrrr,” a dull crying out against the monster, I suppose, that permeated the first dimension. It’s like waking yourself up with your own snoring. That clump of barley was stuck still in the center of my chest.
So this is what barley salad did to me. I’m looking at the salad now and it’s so unassuming, so pretty. Would I be a fool to eat it again? My folly shall soon be revealed…
1800ukillme 
Dear Sandee..
Stick to cheeseburgers and french fries with lots o ketchup
Ahahaha! Word. If I didn’t try to eat the ‘right things’ so often, I’d live a relatively murderous doll free life.
haaa
It was the Brussels sprouts. Nothing good comes from eating them.
I do agree. I think I’ll take Audra’s advice and stick to hamburgers and french fries…
Barely salad is how Steven King wrote some of his best books.
Really. I’m not surprised. If he’d eat it and have the dreams I had after eating it — whoa boy!
Brussel sprouts are evil; barley is OK you just have to drown it in soup.
You know maybe that’s why it got stuck because it wasn’t watered down enough. And I’d never eat brussel sprouts on my own — this was a salad that I had purchased. I agree they’re evil 🙂
Well, it sure sounds like a healthy salad. Maybe better luck next time?
It was a healthy salad but maybe I’ll take Unfettered advice and stick to hamburgers and french fries — ahaha!
That’s one of my weaknesses, to be sure. And, add a chocolate milkshake please!!
Wouldn’t be the same without the milkshake — hmmm… I’m getting some dinner ideas — thanks!
I’m not clicking like on this because you included that creepy damn doll! The worst nightmares I have involve creepy damn dolls. They’re always possessed and trying to kill me. Or just watching me and blinking and turning their heads. Now I’m gonna have bad dreams.
And yeah, brussels sprouts are evil.
I don’t mean to dismiss your fear Mary, but this had me cracking up! I’m hoping you don’t have bad dreams because of this — good thoughts, good thoughts…
Not feeling dismissed, so no worries. My dream catcher must have been working, because my dreams were their usual disjointed and surreal selves. Although I should probably email my friend to make sure he didn’t get arrested for anything.
Oh my!
You ripped Dolly’s head off! Way to go, Sandor! How many times have I ran away from that doll in my nightmares….
Brussel sprouts are the food of the devil.
Yeah that’s right, I ripped her little plastic face to shreds!
You know…hmmm… I’m thinking next time I encounter Dolly Kill Kill, I’ll just hurl some damn brussel sprouts at her head! Ahahaha!
Dolly scared me and I don;’t even have indigestion..
I’m afraid I’ve scared a few folks with the image of this evil little doll… I must apologize.
Well, at least you’re eating healthy before you have nightmares. Kudos for that. My own dream last night wasn’t much better. Ed Helms was in it (the dentist guy in the Hangover movies). Not sure why. Haven’t seen him in anything lately. But if I’m going to dream about actors, my cortex couldn’t have tossed in Daniel Craig instead? Sheesh.
Ahahahaha! Oh damn Carrie! Speaking of Daniel Craig — I have got to see that Bond movie. I loooove that gun placement in his posters — hawt!
My friend and I — shhh, don’t tell anyone — we’re going to see the Twilight movie later today. It’s our annual tradition.
I won’t tell anyone. Promise. But I bet you’ll love the Bond movie more. So good, and such a great villain in it.
Thanks for the recommendation! I’m in! Btw I clicked on your post which I’m looking forward to read. But I’m glad you warned about the gross out factor because I’m eating now. I’m over there as soon as I’ve finished though 😉
Yes, I would wait until the food is nice and digested.
I’m scared but compelled.
I would get a nightmare just thinking about a Brussels sprout. Eating one would probably kill me.
I’m telling you I’m getting such a negative vibe more so about brussel sprouts than for Dolly Kill Kill! I think I’ll pen a horror story featuring Brussel sprouts.
I couldn’t read that one. Too horrible.
Heheheh!
Woman of action! Refreshing to hear about a horrible dream where the dreamer took control-despite the barley;)
Yeah, that’s right — I ripped that face right off! AND I managed to escaped the grips of the man with the squiggly hair — whew! I’ve got a future as an action figure in the dream world…
You have horrible nightmares of your healthy food and I have horrible gas from mine. Either way, the bi-product isn’t awesome. Too much sharing? I hope not.
Oh I know all about horrible gas! I don’t know which is worse.
It was definitely the edamame, AKA the silent killer.
Yeah you know I think I may just stick with Burger King!
Poor innocent barley! Maybe it was just trying to claw it’s way back out hehe;-D Sweet dreams
Hehehehe! I’m on chapter ten Claire — getting through your book slowly but enjoying it!
Hehe happy I made you giggle!! 🙂
Oh geez, that is a food I will NEVER be touching then. My dreams are bad enough as is. Yikes!
If you ever want to be in one of those horror movies you talk about on your blog, eat this concoction, preferably at midnight — uh boy!
Brussels Sprouts STINK!!! Like a septic tank. No wonder why you had nightmares Silly You!
Bisous,
Dawn
Brussel sprouts are the scourge of the planet, of the universe.
ICK!!! 🙂
mint gives me nightmares…
I wish I could pin point the food giving me nightmares but I think generally it all depends on other factors as well. On any given day it could be barley, mint, bananas…
barley scares me. it sounds totally disgusting.