Dolly want to kill kill

Published November 26, 2012 by Sandee

Late last night I shoveled a salad of barley, edamame, cashews, spinach and brussel sprouts down my throat.  I had been exercising.  I needed sustenance.

The barley concoction got stuck in the middle of my esophagus while I lay in bed trying to sleep.

I finally slept and – you guessed right – had a nightmare starring Creepy Dolly Kill Kill and The Man with the Sguiggly Hair.

After a gothic struggle with the doll in a room lit by a candelabra, I dragged her from underneath the bureau and ripped off her plasticine face, which rendered her mute.  No longer could she taunt through cherry red lips, “Dolly want to kill kill.”

You should have seen it yo!  I ripped Dolly’s face right off of her head and threw it into the hall!

That’s when I saw… him… the Sguiggly-Haired One, creeping toward me from around the corner, up to no damn good.

Horrified at the sight of him in my dream, I awakened upon hearing myself moan, cow-like, “mawrrrrrrrr,” a dull crying out against the monster, I suppose, that permeated the first dimension.  It’s like waking yourself up with your own snoring.  That clump of barley was stuck still in the center of my chest.

So this is what barley salad did to me.  I’m looking at the salad now and it’s so unassuming, so pretty.  Would I be a fool to eat it again?  My folly shall soon be revealed…

48 comments on “Dolly want to kill kill

    • You know maybe that’s why it got stuck because it wasn’t watered down enough. And I’d never eat brussel sprouts on my own — this was a salad that I had purchased. I agree they’re evil 🙂

  • I’m not clicking like on this because you included that creepy damn doll! The worst nightmares I have involve creepy damn dolls. They’re always possessed and trying to kill me. Or just watching me and blinking and turning their heads. Now I’m gonna have bad dreams.

    And yeah, brussels sprouts are evil.

    • Yeah that’s right, I ripped her little plastic face to shreds!

      You know…hmmm… I’m thinking next time I encounter Dolly Kill Kill, I’ll just hurl some damn brussel sprouts at her head! Ahahaha!

  • Well, at least you’re eating healthy before you have nightmares. Kudos for that. My own dream last night wasn’t much better. Ed Helms was in it (the dentist guy in the Hangover movies). Not sure why. Haven’t seen him in anything lately. But if I’m going to dream about actors, my cortex couldn’t have tossed in Daniel Craig instead? Sheesh.

    • Yeah, that’s right — I ripped that face right off! AND I managed to escaped the grips of the man with the squiggly hair — whew! I’ve got a future as an action figure in the dream world…

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