It’s my blog and I’ll say what I waaaant!

Published November 25, 2012 by Sandee

Ahhh…  Young people.  They’re energetic with wide eyes, velvet skin, and taste dee-licious.  They have the pabulum of hope, feeding them along a journey of dreams.

They are meant to breed then.  Their parts are unused, well-oiled, with the aroma of moss and dew.  They don’t stink.  They don’t have bad breath, seepage, fart issues – oh don’t even ask what seepage is.

Think of a new car – that new car smell with all the parts working, ready to go!  My parents married young.  My mama was seventeen.  I’ll bet my 21 year old daddy was quite the howling wolf chasing after mama.  They were healthy, creamy.

Old women having babies – more power to you.  To be fair there’s technology, but me, I’d have a heart attack running after a two year old.  I’d be dead by the time it was in junior high.

While it’s not wise for teens to breed, I believe it’s probably the time when you’ll get the most energetic and pleasant smelling mother.  I remember mama flipping around, rolling, and singing songs, everyday!  She had so much energy left over that she taught me how to read when I was just three.

We were kids together, mama, daddy, baby brother.  We all played ring around the rosies – ha!  Problem is that when my brother and I became adolescents we all had fist fights – nah just jivin’!

I think women are meant to breed at 16 – yeah I said it!  This is why they don’t smell and have so much energy.  They are rosebuds admired for their vibrant color and emollience.  And boys the same.  They are firm and smell like spearmint and fresh cut grass.  They are strong and can chase girls for 32 miles.  I know this to be true from my own experiences in the last century.  They are fiercely attracted to each other because of these qualities for the purpose of populating the planet.

I say all this to say, what?  I don’t even know.  But I’m not drunk!  My conclusion doesn’t have jack shit to do with breeding.  It’s just that — as an old woman – and this is just for, me, crazy Sandee – while I’m still horny, I don’t know if it’s meant for me to be fucking anymore.  I look fine for fifty — I’ve been hit on by a few youngsters.  But I’m in this weird stage in the past couple of days where I’m thinking sex is unnatural for me now.  Oh I’ve got stamina and I’m in shape.  But there are tingly things happening in my body and I have fibroids.  I think that nature maybe dries us out and makes us wrinkled because it’s saying your cootchie time’s up, unless you’re already married to another old person.

Please pay me no mind tonight — I’m sorry.  And in case you’re wondering – I don’t have bad breath and I don’t stink.  But I do have farting issues.

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48 comments on “It’s my blog and I’ll say what I waaaant!

  • Ahahaha! This was just what I needed! A good laugh. I do agree, though. When we’re young and lusty and dewy we should have kids. That’s when we have energy. It’s kind of messed up, though, because we’re so much smarter in our old age. Too bad. I guess that’s the only thing we have going for us, what, with all those smelly, staining, seepagey sort of issues. LOL!
    I want to be young and lusty and unvarnished again. Now I know why people fight the aging process – because it sucks big time.

  • Sandee-
    You are too funny.BUT come ON. Be free and be wild… be LUSTY and a little varnish is good ’cause then you(and he) know all the right spots to apply the “polish”. I’ll have none of this aging nonsense.. giddy up woman! I see your picture–you’re a hot mama. (so is Lisa) I am a LITTLE younger than both of you and I look at least ten years old than you .

    On a more serious note.. I really loved your writing in this — the smell of spearmint and fresh cut grass– wow.

  • lol, you know, back in the old, old days women married very young and did bare children while in their teens. Of course they spent there childhood learning about cooking, sewing and all of those responsibilities they would have. I really do feel like I am done with sex and all of that. I had enough of all that after my divorce lol. I don’t want to have to shave my legs for all of that! lol.

  • By the way, I was three months short of 20 when I had my daughter, husband was too. So technically we both were teenagers (ah, the thing about technicalities). So, yeah, I know what you mean. I couldn’t do it now. Not even 10 years ago.

    • I do too really. I’m just joking saying this of course in my post about this being the optimum time. But really physically, a girl is probably best able to handle the physical demands — though completely not prepared mentally more than likely.

  • If it still works, use it! There’s no age limit on the happy sexy fun times. I’m not involved (or planning on it), but I’ve still got my battery powered boyfriend for when I feel a little, um, lonesome.

  • Oh poo. That’s what age is for. So we can fart and seep while we fuck and everyone laughs and laughs and doesn’t care. I say foo to the self-conscious inhibitions of youth and hooray for being happy and sexy in stinky, broken-in skin.

  • Whoever coined that adage “kids make you young” had no idea what they were talking about. I just changed my Gravatar to a pre-parental picture of myself from my birthday two years ago. The essence of me is still there, but I don’t know if I have the energy to exhibit that kind of spontaneous excitement anymore.

    • I see what you mothers and fathers out there experience, including my sister and her husband, and I consider myself a happy coward! I wasn’t brave enough to have any children.

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