Farts, Effluvium and More!

Published November 15, 2012 by Sandee

I learned a new word.  Ef-flu-vi-um:  an invisible emanation; especially: an offensive exhalation or smell.

I’m rather embarrassed the way I learned of it.  But I was told that you rid yourself of embarrassment by telling people about it in a public space.

I thought effluvious was a word, and that it meant something like a ‘miasma of putrid decay.’  I had planned to tell you that if I live until Saturday I will have had fifty glorious years on the effluvious planet called earth.  But I’m not so dumb.  I punched effluvious into Merriam Webster and discovered that I had made up a word.  The beauty is that the wonderful people at Merriam Webster thought I might be looking for another word close to that spelling.  So they found me a real word that looks like that one, effluvium.

I had been dying to use the sentence ‘a miasma of putrid decay’ ever since I heard it on Count Yorga the Vampire.  I made up two cool sentences with my new word that I learned, one even incorporates the Count Yorga phrase AND the word effluvium!

Check this sentence out: ‘The effluvium emanated from his rancid hole singed off the hair on my head.’

And check this out — instead of saying ‘Who farted?’ you can now say ‘Who emanated the effluvium into this miasma of putrid decay?’  The only thing, is you have to use a Shakespearean voice when you say ‘this miasma of putrid decay’.

It’s fun to use new words.  I think scientists or medical professionals use this word probably, but I’m afraid I’ll have no further use for it unless I want to sound like a pretentious ass.  But thank you for listening — okay just once more – Now I shall retreat into the effluvium of my decaying existence.

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42 comments on “Farts, Effluvium and More!

  • well it is sooo much fun to say “Who emanated the effluvium into this miasma of putrid decay?!” And I shall say it at work today in my best pretentious Shakespearean voice– as the bathrooms are unfortunately very near the circulation desk. I hope you have a HAPPY HAPPY Birthday!

    • Well, it turns out that we have some miserable thing in common Audra. I, too, sit at the front desk of a gallery and the bathroom is just a few feet away — talk about a miasma of putrid decay! I could just see the looks on the faces of the people where you work hearing that phrase — hahaha! Why, I think I shall use it too!

  • bahahahahahahahaha!
    I cannot see you being pretentious – or even play acting at pretentious….
    The Shakespearean accent – fucking totally!

    I have the vocabulary that closely matches one of a village idiot – so I say YOU GO Auntie Sandee and your learned ways 🙂

  • I’m a little hyper sensitive to smells – just the mere mention of effluvium made me gag a little. haha! But because I think the world of you, Miss Sandee, I read to the bitter end of this post. No pun intended. Hey, you’re right, if done in a Shakespearean voice it’s so much better.
    And Missfoureyes is right, dogs are known for their effluvium. Sneaky devils.

  • Well, this title certainly draws the reader in!

    I’ve encountered the word “effluvium,” in my journal reading but have never used it myself. I think you’ve just inspired me to do so. I could sound all Frasier Crane.

    • I was hoping it would draw people in and not repel them! Thanks Carrie. I thought of you as a medical professional being familiar with this word 🙂

      Oh ya, Frasier Crane — definitely familiar with this word!

  • That cake really looks delicious. Now I want cake really badly. I love the word Effluvium–it’s fun to say. I’m going to have to find some way of working, “Who emanated the effluvium into this miasma of putrid decay?” into a conversation. With the Shakespearean accent, of course. 😀

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