I learned a new word. Ef-flu-vi-um: an invisible emanation; especially: an offensive exhalation or smell.
I’m rather embarrassed the way I learned of it. But I was told that you rid yourself of embarrassment by telling people about it in a public space.
I thought effluvious was a word, and that it meant something like a ‘miasma of putrid decay.’ I had planned to tell you that if I live until Saturday I will have had fifty glorious years on the effluvious planet called earth. But I’m not so dumb. I punched effluvious into Merriam Webster and discovered that I had made up a word. The beauty is that the wonderful people at Merriam Webster thought I might be looking for another word close to that spelling. So they found me a real word that looks like that one, effluvium.
I had been dying to use the sentence ‘a miasma of putrid decay’ ever since I heard it on Count Yorga the Vampire. I made up two cool sentences with my new word that I learned, one even incorporates the Count Yorga phrase AND the word effluvium!
Check this sentence out: ‘The effluvium emanated from his rancid hole singed off the hair on my head.’
And check this out — instead of saying ‘Who farted?’ you can now say ‘Who emanated the effluvium into this miasma of putrid decay?’ The only thing, is you have to use a Shakespearean voice when you say ‘this miasma of putrid decay’.
It’s fun to use new words. I think scientists or medical professionals use this word probably, but I’m afraid I’ll have no further use for it unless I want to sound like a pretentious ass. But thank you for listening — okay just once more – Now I shall retreat into the effluvium of my decaying existence.