Scorpio

Published October 23, 2012 by Sandee

Brigitte’s post on astrology made me think of my sad history with being a Scorpion.  My parents used Linda Goodman’s astrology book as a child rearing tool.  Not cool.  They put me in a box and treated me a certain way because of my sign, whether or not I actually exhibited any of the traits.  Oh, she’s refusing to eat her asparagus — she’s a strong-willed Scorpion child.  She’ll grow up to be a doctor because she’s fearless and focused.  We’ve got to punish her more because she’s so stubborn. 

Not!  As I began reading astrology books, I thought, wow, Scorpions are badass.  I’m not worthy.  So I’ll just act the way Linda Goodman says we are in the book.  It backfired.  She said Scorpions have a penetrating stare.  So I stared, penetratingly, at people.  It was weird.  I loved the idea of getting revenge on all my little friends who had fucked me over, and Scorpions are known for revenge.  Right?  I thought that it was my job to get revenge on people because I was a Scorpion.  Well, any lame attempt that I made to get any earth-shattering revenge generally backfired – the people that I thought I was revenging didn’t know that they were being revenged.  And Scorpions are not supposed to be afraid of anything.  I was afraid of every fucking thing.

From the age of eight on I suffered from a disease called achalasia.  I became malnourished and couldn’t focus in school.  I was in special progress classes so became more intimidated because of my inability.  If my parents had known what to do, they would have done it.  I think my youthful parents and the disease did a lot to undermine my situation.  They didn’t have the resources to mentor me and to interact in a way that would nurture my natural personality.  While they gave me a brilliant childhood, my adolescence suffered because of the shortcomings.  Feeling the burden of being a Scorpion, I was unworthy.  My self-esteem suffered.

But as an adult who has found herself at the end of the journey, hell yeah, don’t mess with me – I got my mojo back.  No, I’m just finally experiencing my true nature.  I remember the two Scorpion types that Linda Goodman described, the grey lizard and the eagle.  Despite my effort to deprogram myself from my parent’s rearing on this, I believe I had been a grey lizard, a seething envious, imploding sort.  As an adult, I’m definitely the phoenix, or the eagle, and I do see a lot of the traits of Scorpio in me.  Though I always thought I was Aquarius rising, I had my chart done, and everything was in Scorpio.  I’ve been told I’m intense.  I still don’t like being judged by my sign.  Don’t think that I’m refusing to eat my asparagus just because I’m a Scorpion.  But I do share a birthday with Danny DeVito and Martin Scorsese – kick ass!

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51 comments on “Scorpio

  • Aww…that’s sad, actually. I don’t think parents always know how their children are interpreting things. They probably had no idea you were taking it all so seriously.

  • Clearly the people you were revenging were too stupid know that they were being revenged. When Sandor revenges people KNOW that they are in for something bad.
    I googled it and I just found out that I share a birthday with Marilyn Monroe!

  • You may no longer be a Scorpio, thanks to the earth’s rotation everything had to be re-ordered. Unless you were born between Nov. 23rd and 29th you are no longer a Scorpio, you could even be an Ophiuchus….don’t worry, I’m sure they have plenty of neurosis for parents to press upon their children haha!

  • I have never followed the Astrological signs and such but do see as a child how being told things like that would make a lasting impression.. I’m a Virgo and have not a clue what i’m supposed to “act” like..

  • My birthday makes me a Sagittarius, but I’m nothing like one. I’m much more like a Scorpio, but my sister tells me this is because my birthday almost straddles the two. Whatever that means. I don’t pay attention to horoscopes. I’m sure that’s just what a Scorpio would say.

    Hey, congratulations, Sandee. You are the winner from my Facebook contest. The random number Random.org generated for me was #18, and you were my 18th ‘like’ so you win the prize. 🙂 As promised, I will send you a signed copy of The Seneca Scourge, or, if you already have it on e-book or otherwise, I’ll send you an Amazon gift card instead (or if you’d just prefer to have the gift card–that’s fine, too; you won’t hurt my feelings; I’m like a Scorpio, remember?) 😉

    Let me know which one you’d like!

    • I won!!??? I won!!! Yeah!

      You know I have it on Kindle for PC, which is kind of a pain in the butt to read because I don’t have a lap top and have to sit up behind the computer the whole time. I would like a signed copy of the book — I’d probably could get through it faster. I’ll email you my address?

      Thank you Carrie — what great news!

      Have a good one…

  • Interesting, now I am sort of wishing my parents treated me like a libra when I was kid, because I would have been way more confident and outgoing than I was. I feel like I’m growing into that person now. I had my chart done recently though and I had a bit of Scorpio in there…explains the thinky crap and sexual stuff. Yeesh.

  • Hi Sandee, thanks for the shout-out about my post. Your writing and creativity are intense and I mean that in very good way. Your parents must have really believed in horoscopes — now I know what you meant by how you were pigeon-holed into being or becoming what some horoscope said you were/are. I didn’t know Scorpions were hell-bent on revenge. I think we all are — about certain things — especially when we’re younger. Until we realize that revenge doesn’t make us feel any better and we really don’t have to do a thing — that karma thing will take of that.

    Anyway, I love these tales of your childhood and I can definitely see the eagle thing in you. Whether you embody all the “traits” of what a horoscope defines your sign as or not, I think your honest spirit and brave writing is very much like a kick-ass Scorpion. And I love asparagus — it’s good for you. ;). Great post!!

    • Thanks B! Yeah it’s true about revenge — it isn’t a Scorpion thing only. Besides, I’m totally not into it. It’s more self-destructive really.

      Asparagus — strange. I was eating it almost everyday a couple of years ago. One day I said, “I hate asparagus. Why am I eating it?” I got stuck on stupid with eating the same stuff everyday — mind you it was good stuff. Now I’ve got to stop it with the red peppers — I buy them every week to steam with my broccoli and zucchini, but I don’t really like red pepper. I just like to have a colorful vegetable to eat. Plus I don’t want to spend energy thinking of another vegetable to buy. I just like going into the supermarket mechanically and picking up the same stuff every week…

  • I march to the beat of an Aquarius drum, which means I’m marching to the beat of an accordion. I’m not quite as freewheeling as most books portray us water bearers, but I’m not going to go along with the crowd.

    I think there is limited truth to astrology. I’m a nurture over nature kind of person, but I know nature plays a role and that nature isn’t just about your genes. There’s no one thing that makes us who we are.

    But you’re pretty badass.

  • My parents did that to me too! I’m a Virgo but nothing like a Virgo except the part where Linda Goodman says I slice a relationship like a knife and don’t look back.. but then I don’t seem to be like any sign so… maybe…. maybe I’m actually an alien…hmm That would actually sum everything up at lot… :-0

    • Ahahaha! That’s funny Claire!

      Btw — I’m enjoying your book! I wish I had waited to get the hardcopy though because I’m reading it on Kindle for PC which is a pain in the butt because I have to read it sitting behind my computer which isn’t a lap top. Either way, it’s good! Can’t wait to finish, even if it takes a bit 😉

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