I’ve been taking a new way home from work to avoid riding the bus with zombies masquerading as people. As soon as you turn away they smack their fists in their hands and point at me. They peel the latex ‘people’ skin from their face to show me decaying flesh then stick it back on before anyone else sees them. Sometimes the bus is filled with them because they know this is my usual route.
So this is my new route home.
It’s the back roads of Riverdale in the Bronx. There are others walking here but it’s rather quiet. Since there are mansions on one side and a few houses speckled on the other by the river, I might be saved by a compassionate homeowner if one of those stinking dead bastards comes.
I imagine this road in the fall when the leaves turn Halloweeny and the moon is huge and orange with the wicked witch flying through it on her broom, and I get all oogie.
That white speck is a zombie but I’m behind the tree.
This walking path is like a country road with the woods and the river. The people who live here don’t make the path less twiggy and gnarly because they don’t want riff raff like me too comfortable on it.
The road leads back to a luxury apartment area winding east. At the end where the road curves back is a quaint old apartment complex, units crookedly piled on top of one another on a natural terrace jutting out over the river. Each unit has an iron terrace and the roofs are rust colored, corrugated. There’s ivy crawling all over the buildings. There’s a serene view of the river and the palisades. Woods are across the street. Next to that is a prewar building, rather average but attractive, resembling the kind in my neighborhood. It also juts out over the river. It’s strange to see a building like that in a privileged position.
I’m going to live there. That’s also why I walk this route, to get used to it when I have to come home this way, zombies or not.
But now, for my trip home from work this way, after a mile and a half, I get on a bus that zombies refuse to ride. They don’t know where I live and they’re not blog readers. A few are starting to get on Facebook, but I blocked them. Trying to avoid them is exhausting but I don’t want to become a zombie anytime soon, so it’s what I accept. They want to eat my superior brain and I can’t do anything about that.
Hmm, looks like perfect zombie territory to me. I’d be careful if I were you. And I hear they especially like cake.
Oh Carrie, I am careful because the potential for these things to be hiding behind trees is so great. And they do eat cake but they salivate at the thought of eating my brain, which is the finest cake to a zombie.
Brain Cake. Sounds like a great title for one of your short stories…
That has a nice ring to it.
Hahaha! I LOVE this Sandee! I wish I could jump inside your brain for a minute to see how it works (don’t worry, I’m not a zombie). I love the area of Riverdale. That’s where a good part of my Father’s family is from. I like the mix of unexpected woodsiness and buildings. Now when I think of you, I’m gonna picture you on that path, wearing an invisible Zombie shield, of course.
I believe if you jumped into my brain, you’d want to high tail it out of there asap as it’s a deranged mangle sodden with mish mosh!
So you know Riverdale! It’s fabulous here. And it’s close to the city which is good. Those apartments on the river make me crazy. The ones I mentioned are a little beat up looking — not like the luxury ones — and that appeals to me. They have some character.
You remind me that I need to go on ebay for one of those invisible zombie shields — thanks Grippy!
I think you would give those Zombies a run for their money and you would be the “queen” zombie before sundown 🙂
Thanks Lynne! You see that’s precisely what they’re afraid of, me being their queen and reigning over them, telling them what to wear and whatnot — ah well.
Zombies beware lol
Yeah, they best better be aware because as soon as I find one of those zombie shields Grippy mentioned, their asses will be grass!
Just curious, but what are you using to protect yourself from these zombies? I would suggest a long handled shovel or a cricket bat.
Note to self: acquire long handled shovel or cricket bat from ebay — thanks for the suggestion Jon!
The Zombies are everywhere… ugh, the stench on that zombie filled bus must be atrocious…
I’m glad you know exactly what I have to go through Tham — it sucks ass!
You have a great imagination. That path looks like a very peaceful.
It’s such a pretty path — I’m compelled to walk on it though it’s not a direct path home and takes me out of my way.
That was terrifying to me. Plus I never knew that there were trees in the Bronx. Yuno, Asphalt Jungle, all that…someone should have told me.
Bisous,
Dawn
Hahaha! One of the reasons I enjoy writing about the Bronx is to dispel some of the common myths. It’s actually one of the greenest boroughs in New York. You’d be amazed at some of the neighborhoods.
I’ve heard about some zombie attacks in the Bronx, but not in Riverdale…yet. But I refuse to go to Van Cortlandt Park anymore because of the last incident. You’re wise to avoid zombies, Sandee, because you just KNOW they’d find your brain irresistibly delicious.
I knew you’d understand! — Oh yeeeah…Van Cortlandt Park — it’s a bad scene 😦
Those pesky zombies. Good think they haven’t heard of Sandy Hill yet. Although they have been in downtown Toronto several times
Take care and beware, I say 🙂
This is why I cannot be seen with out my machete.
Oh sure, the neighbors call me “That Crazy Guy with the Knife Who Lives in the Boarded Up House,” but luck favors the prepared, and soon this prepared fellow is gonna get all kinds of stabby.
Oh thank you for this laugh you just given me — ‘all kinds of stabby’! — hahahaha!