Me vs. Me

Published September 11, 2012 by Sandee

There’s an old lady who lives on my avenue in that odd house lined up amongst apartment buildings.  She has fairies, gnomes, trolls and wind chimes in her yard.  She patrols the street in front of her house like lord of the manor.  When I jog she stares with her forehead wrinkled.  Once, when I jogged by she put her hand out to stop me.  She was hosing – she’s a controlling little bully.

Today she had workers in front of her house.  There was enough space for me to jog, but she charged out with both palms facing me and stomped, “Stop! The sidewalk’s wet.”  I looked for wet cement, but it was only water.  She shrugged as I moved forward and said “Okay, but if you fall.”  “Thanks for your concern,” I said.  When it rains on the sidewalk you don’t slip – ridiculous!

On my way back there was a cement chute from a truck blocking the sidewalk in front of her house.  I ran up a few yards from it.  I prepared to run around in the street because this time there was no room.  Frankly I wanted to confront her.  “You can’t go this way,” she yelled.  I told her she needed to put a sign up saying there was construction going on.  I told her she didn’t have to yell and that she shouldn’t be ordering people off the sidewalk.  Then it came, roiling out of the space in my brain that I’d been saving for her, “I don’t know who you think you are with your cheesy little house with all that tacky shit in the yard, but you don’t own this block!”

Why didn’t I just let the woman continue thinking she was mistress of the manor? Well, somebody had to let her know that she doesn’t own the sidewalk, that’s why. See it was my job to tell her that she can’t bully people.  But what would it have cost for me to have simply gone around the area by walking in the street without saying anything?

When I’m tired, stressed or haven’t eaten enough I have to watch myself.  That’s when I might be looking for people I can easily use as targets for the anger I have about my own situation. I reminded myself that this is how bad stuff happens in a split second, when you let your temper fly.  I’ve been training myself to think and move slowly when I’m weak but I didn’t have a handle on it today.  I thought I was okay but issues were floating around back there in my subconscious so I wasn’t immediately aware of the stress.  But I admit telling the woman that her house wasn’t shit felt good.

40 comments on “Me vs. Me

  • “When I’m tired, stressed or haven’t eaten enough I have to watch myself. ” Nobody is immune to this – personally, I give myself a little room for this kind of thing, because frankly there are always assholes who need to be told, and meek people who are too scared to tell them, so you’re helping in a way!

  • Okay, first of all, you should know I almost stopped reading when I read that you jog. I may have to cancel my subscription. (I can’t have friends that make me feel lazy.)
    Second, I think you owe little bossy boots a plate of cookies. Sure, she’ll throw them out cause she’ll think you poisoned them, but it will erase the bad karma.
    Third, other than the jogging, this is exactly something I would do and that’s why I LOL’d at the last sentence!!! Good one, Sandee!!! Hahaha!

    • You sound like me — hahahaha — when I read about something I covet or whatever!

      So along with your cookies idea, a friend joked yesterday and said I should make her a pie but put bugs in it or something — hehe!

      But you have me thinking of karma now. I did pray for her this morning along with a couple of other folks I don’t understand or have intense negative feeling for. I’m scared of this old bat — I’m thinking — since she’s old and shriveled, she could get away with stabbing me — I know I’ve taken it too far but it did cross my mind.

      I’m glad you mentioned karma — I think I was trying to redeem my spiritual life by blogging about my negative part in this as well.

      As far as jogging, I’m doing all this jogging, eating right,etc. and I’ll probably kick the bucket sooner than all those folks who don’t bother — ah, well, at least I’ll have a toned corpse!

  • Sandee, I think we’ve all done this, snapped at someone because we’re in a bad mood, don’t feel well, have some stuff on on mind — whatever — but it happens. I like Grippy’s idea or better yet — a cake! :). I’m going to order your book today…been meaning too lately and been busy and have a nasty, bad cold.

    Guess I’d better watch myself; I’ve already snapped at my husband. Go easy on yourself, it happens.

    • Brigitte — thank you so much for ordering my book — I hope it satisfies! Yay! I appreciate your support and kind words and advice!

      I did like Grippy’s idea too — I always reflect on my part in something like this and ask myself — how could I have done that better.

      I hope you enjoy your day!

  • Dear Sandee, we all have these moments. You’ve realized perhaps it wasn’t the best way to go. No beating up on anyone – that includes yourself, young lady (and I can say that!) – and move…er job…along! xoxoM

  • Where is the thought filter when you need it?! I do the same thing. It feels terrible a minute later.
    She had it coming. Plus, if you didn’t do it, I’m sure someone else would’ve anyway.

    P.S Love that picture!

    • This is true somebody else would’ve done it from what I’m hearing now. Apparently this woman has been like this to others. I hated her rotten guts yesterday but today I don’t.

      I’m glad you like the picture — it’s me kissing me 😀

  • Okay, SWB, wave and smile and shoo her off! Sooner or later, she’ll give up on you! I’d probably holler with a big grin: “Come on, Granny, be nice! …as I jogged away. Ain’t nuthin like an old lady in charge to ruin your day! 🙂
    BTW, ain’t seen you around lately either!

      • She was probably bossy all of her life. People who feel vulnerable double down on external control. I had an aunt just like your old witch! Everybody in the family hated her! Except me. I laughed when she tried to tell me what a miserable failure I was going to be or how awful my haircut was, etc. The folks at the nursing home OD’d her finally when she bit them. Ha Ha! Nobody said a word… I laughed.

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