The Chronicles of Cake

Published September 7, 2012 by Sandee

I’d flip through mom’s Betty Crocker cook book to the page with the devil’s food cake frosted white.  I’d stare, fantasize and drool, like porno. Eventually I helped mom bake, measuring flour, stirring batter.  At ten, I started making cakes by myself.  I loved serving dad cake.  “Mmm mmm!  Sandee, this is good cake,” daddy would say with cake in his mouth.  Cake would get in his beard.  He had full cheeks and his eyes told jokes.  He’d chew, look at me, nod, and clink his fork to the plate until the end.  “Hey, cut me another piece of that cake Sandee.”  Win!

My cakes then were box cakes with Duncan Hines Frosting.  I was meticulous about stirring the batter 300 times – God forbid I should fuck up and stir too many times – I only imagined what manner of wrong this would cause.

I matured and made scratch cakes.  I made this spice cake after work and would eat the whole thing in a night.  It didn’t affect my weight because I smoked a lot, exercised and took stress pills.  I made cakes for boyfriends in heart shaped pans.  I favored lemon cakes with lemon frosting that I made all from scratch.  I made up this cake with coriander in it.  Finding a desk drawer at work stuffed with ketchup, mustard and teriyaki sauce packets I threatened to make a condiment cake.  Jeff, my boss, he liked that, “Condiment cake!  Hee hee hee!”  He said.  I took a ginger molasses cake sprinkled with confectioner’s sugar to my Auntie’s on X-mas.  When it got there the confectioner’s sugar melted but it was still scrumptious.  I bought a fancy cake carrier to take cakes to people’s houses.

It’s been a while since I’ve baked a cake.  But I still eat the shit out of a piece of cake.  I love the thick white frosted cake at work from somebody’s birthday or from a leaving the job party. I bought a piece of black forest cake from the Carrot Top that I ate slowly, with my eyes closed – it was unbelievable!  When Summer Solstice Girl suggested red velvet cake I bought a piece.  I almost died eating it.  I cannot buy a whole cake, or make a cake without having company because I would eat the entire cake no problemo.

As a child, frustrated at having to eat asparagus and lamb with mint jelly for dinner, I dreamed of growing up and eating whatever I wanted.  I think of this now when I eat cake for dinner and it makes me happy.

51 comments on “The Chronicles of Cake

  • As Bill Cosby once noted, there’s eggs in cake, which makes it a perfect breakfast food.

    Red velvet might be my favorite, but I also really love pineapple upside down cake. And anything chocolate is good (except german chocolate. . . that stuff on top looks nasty).

  • Mmmm I LOVE cake and used to bake them all the time. My favourite time to eat cake was breakfast. Then I discovered I was gluten intolerant…I would kill for a piece of cake right now.

  • I love your cake love. I love lemon cake, strawberry cake (I can make a wonderful pineapple upside down cake), chocolate cake, carrot cake (without raisins), spice cake, red velvet cake, coconut cake. My grandmother used to make this yellow cake with this chocolate syrup-like icing that slithered into the holes she’d punch in the top of it and then it kind of hardened all over the cake. All from scratch. You should open up a cake shop.

    I’m hungry. Thanks for sharing your memories and your cake love, Sandee.

    • Ohhh Brigitte — all these cakes you mention — ohhhhh… Maybe WE should open a cake shop 🙂 AND this means I’m on a cosmic strand and have to try this — you mention pineapple upside down cake — three people mentioned it and though I never had it I told Dugutigui that I’d give him the Pineapple Upside Down Cake award — I’ve GOT to try it now. I can just see that cake your grandmother used to make the way you describe it, mmmmm.

    • Oooo, cookies — love them too — but if I have to choose between the two it’d be cake of course. Cake makes me very happy but I have to approach it responsibly, like they say you have to do with drinking when you’re driving home from a party. Eat cake, responsibly, Sandee, yes…

  • If ever or better yet, when you come to my neck of the woods; i know where i am taking you…bittersweet or one of the amazing cake shops around me…they have the best cakes ever and i know you would just love them 🙂 Yummy welL written post SCB!

  • Auntie Sandee,
    You write so le good, sometimes I ask myself: how does she do it? And then I find myself the answer: she’s family, after all. Now I think an obsession for cake is healthy, and I think eating cake or sweets in the morning is the way to go… No? I mean, you can burn the calories all day… And when you have kids and you give them sweets as dessert, you face them being all on crack cocaine before bed, and what fun is that, when you’re extenuated? Did I segue?
    Le Clown

    • Anette!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying it! And thanks so much for supporting my book. I really appreciate it.

      I wish you lived in NYC — I’m hoping to do readings here in a few weeks. I’ll post pictures hopefully — maybe a video at least. Take care Anette.

  • Comment?

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

    You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

    Connecting to %s

    %d bloggers like this: