My Expert Findings on Face Book Narcissism

Published August 31, 2012 by Sandee

As two-bit philosopher, psychologist, herbologist, pharmacologist, and proctologist, I find narcissism on facebook, riveting, repellent, nauseating.  Fascinating.  I’m self absorbed too, and if I had a camera I’d take pictures of my half ass looking ass every 58 minutes.  Wait ‘til they see this picture of me in front of the bathroom mirror with smoky eyes!  No!  I would NOT do this to y’all, so why are you doing it to meeee?!  I do enjoy looking at photos of you from time to time.  I just don’t need to be saturated with pictures of you in 27 different poses on a rock.

Physical narcissism isn’t limited to people who actually look good.  Nope.  Uh uh.  I don’t even like too many pictures of pretty people, because at some point the reason they’re taking all those damn pictures begins to taint their image, and they start looking a little warped.

But there are some, dragons, out there whose mamas told them they were beautiful – and they believed them.   So it becomes their mission to use facebook to force this belief on us, to convince us of their mama’s — LIES.

Woo woo woo, wooka momma’s wittoo babeeeeeeee, tees toe toot!  Ain’t she the sweetest little potato a pie?  Mama told you that you looked like Halle Berry but you look like a goddamned wolf in the prairie — Arwooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

39 comments on “My Expert Findings on Face Book Narcissism

  • Great post! I feel the same way about all that narcism, it’s totally repellant. In the book of Revelations it says that in the last days, “Men will be lovers of themselves.” Hello, lovers! I think we’ve arrived!
    I can see teenagers doing it, cause that’s the stage they’re in, but past the age of 18 it becomes way ugly. Lol!

    • Oh Grippy, that’s kind of scary. There are so many things in the bible (and I’m not a religious person nor bible thumper, etc) that seem to be happening.

      I suspect you’re being hard on yourself. If only we could adopt the attitude of some of these dragons who bombard us with photos of themselves, we’d be okay. Makes you wonder what the heck’s all going on in those little heads of theirs.

  • I totally agree! I hate it when people use Facebook to document all of their facial expressions, hairstyles and of course all of the friends they have. Then their are the ugly people who do the same and it is even more devastating! lol

      • Ha! See? I believe the same thing. That’s why I laugh when people tell me I’m pretty. I have a mirror. I know how I look.

        Now, I know I am a good person. What some people would call beautiful inside. That’s different. That I can believe

      • At one time I couldn’t even take a compliment because I think I was trying to force the issue that I was deep — pah! I would say, ‘Oh it all depends on who’s looking at me’ or, ‘I’m average looking and on a good day I can look good’, which really was an insult to the person who complimented me. Now, especially because I’m old as shit, I say “Oh thank you thank you thank you,” then I kiss the person’s feet! Hahahahaha!

  • Wolves and dragons are way better looking than most people. I’m finally going to bit the Facebook bullet, and pictures of myself will not be up there much. My cats, on the other hand, will be featured quite prominently.

  • Sandee, you are so funny sometimes! “I just don’t need to be saturated with pictures of you in 27 different poses on a rock.” I laughed out loud at that.

    I’ve never been on Facebook. I don’t know why — it just scares me. But I’m like you — why do people post pictures of themselves all the time? Why do they tweet them? We’ve seen some politicians get in trouble for tweeting pics of themselves (the one from here who lived in Queens). Ew, his wife must be so proud.

    It’s weird you wrote this…I was watching some tv “news” morning show and it showed Heidi Klum, in a bikini, all posed out ON A ROCK that she just had to tweet to her fans while she was vacationing somewhere. REALLY?? Talk about narcissism!

    • Thank you sweet Brigitte. I’m interested to see that different people point out different things in this that they think are funny. I haven’t seen the Heidi Klum photo but it’s a coincidence, hmm, maybe, maybe not, hmm… Just saw a giant sized photo of her in a bikini on the side of a bus. I thought, she looks really beautiful but I suppose she’ll be doing more and more of these as her time is running out — while she is beautiful, she’s no spring chicken.

      Yeah face book scared me too. I swore I’d never go on. But I needed a piss poor marketing tool so, facebook was it!

  • You nailed the facebook crapola perfectly here.. how many fecking images and self gratifying streams do we need? Funny and to the point here Sandee.. masterful as always.

    • Thanks UBS. I’m new to face book for my book, just since March, so I’m only just getting overwhelmed with it, but I’m sure others have been turned off. Some people I sent friend requests to say they didn’t know I had sent them because they rarely go on face book anymore. I could see why one would get sick of it.

  • Not only are you awesome AND hilarious, but all the people who comment on your blog are funny too. must go do something which will distract me from my envy…..debating between Nutella and Colin Firth movies

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