In the Wizard of Oz, they pull that curtain back and see no giant, loving omniscience back there, just some ‘ol bull shit. Click that ‘Awards’ widget on my side-bar. Nothing. You were gonna pull that curtain back some day and say “Aha! She’s been fooling us!” Oh, I swear I was gonna put awards in there!
I bees SO gwuilty. [Insert picture of cute kitteh] I accept awards. I say ‘Thank you.’ But I don’t follow the rules. I don’t give acceptance speeches, list things about myself, pass the awards on, or display them on my side-bar.
I appreciate you lovely people for giving them to me and I thank you all. But I’d rather not receive awards. Just lavish praise and rent money.
I watch others who feel this way. What do they do? I’d take guidance from that. So I’ll be a punk ass and piggy back on what that fabulous Kyle says.
Here are beautiful people who gave me awards. Some of you may have forgotten, but I’ve given you all Award Cakes!
The Lemon Supreme Cake Award, lemon frosted of course
The Chocolate Peanut Butter Ganache Cake Award
The Orange Rum Sunrise Cake Award
The Strawberry Angel Food Cake Award
The Coriander Cake with Butter Cream Frosting Sprinkled with Cinnamon, Nutmeg and Coriander Award (I miss her)
Zucchini Lemon Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting Award
The Ethereal Angel Food Cake Award
The Banana Walnut Cake with Maple Frosting Award
Black Forest Cake Award
German Chocolate Cake Award
The Peach Pie Cake Award (wink, wink)
The Supreme Ass Cake Award
I might’ve screwed this up — maybe you didn’t even give me an award — it’s been so long and my notes get mixed up, crinkled. I hope I’ve included everyone who actually gave me an award.
I feel free. I’ll delete that fake widget now.
Eat some cake, responsibly, and enjoy the rest of your week! Mwa!