Entenmann’s Cherry Cheese Danish

Published June 14, 2012 by Sandee

On the walk home with my groceries including my Entenmann’s cherry cheese danish that I totally planned to eat for dinner, a neighborhood drunk, sitting on the side of the historical house says, “I thought you was supposed to be losin’.”   That son of a bitch!  He sees me jogging all the time so I guess he felt like he was calling me on something.  [Warning to men: “Female Problems” Alert] I have fibroids that make my stomach stick out at “certain times.”  I was twisted with bags and wearing a tee-shirt so it was probably prominent.  I don’t have a weight problem.  I exercise regularly and generally eat quinoa, steamed vegetables every night – organic shit – that kind of thing.  So what he said didn’t make me want to run home, get on the scale and throw my danish away – I’m too old for that shit now.  My toothpick days are over, and it ain’t as bad as I would have imagined as a 25 year old neurotic who’d rather smoke than eat.  I do know this rat bastard – he’s one of the neighborhood bums and drunks that I plan to write about.  “How dare you?”  I said lamely, and went home where I indulged in a scrumptious meal of Doritios, orange ginger cookies and my Entenmann’s cherry cheese danish.  Suck my dick you greasy drunk bastard!

19 comments on “Entenmann’s Cherry Cheese Danish

  • That drunk asshole is in for a world of hurt, I’m thinking. And I looooove Entenmann’s cherry cheese danish! You really do need to write about all of these people you encounter, Sandee–your stories are funny as shit.

    Also, how was dinner?? 🙂

  • Mmm. . . cherry cheese danish.

    I occasionally have pie for breakfast (it’s got fruit in it, so why not). Cherry cheese danish and Doritos sounds great (not so big on ginger cookies). Now I wish I’d gone out and gotten those pumpkin muffins I’ve been craving. You are a bad influence.

    Fibroids are fun, too. I had a hysterectomy last year to get rid of the two giant ones I had. Lost almost ten pounds. Gained most of it back eating things like pumpkin muffins and cherry cheese danish. Don’t care.

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