On the walk home with my groceries including my Entenmann’s cherry cheese danish that I totally planned to eat for dinner, a neighborhood drunk, sitting on the side of the historical house says, “I thought you was supposed to be losin’.” That son of a bitch! He sees me jogging all the time so I guess he felt like he was calling me on something. [Warning to men: “Female Problems” Alert] I have fibroids that make my stomach stick out at “certain times.” I was twisted with bags and wearing a tee-shirt so it was probably prominent. I don’t have a weight problem. I exercise regularly and generally eat quinoa, steamed vegetables every night – organic shit – that kind of thing. So what he said didn’t make me want to run home, get on the scale and throw my danish away – I’m too old for that shit now. My toothpick days are over, and it ain’t as bad as I would have imagined as a 25 year old neurotic who’d rather smoke than eat. I do know this rat bastard – he’s one of the neighborhood bums and drunks that I plan to write about. “How dare you?” I said lamely, and went home where I indulged in a scrumptious meal of Doritios, orange ginger cookies and my Entenmann’s cherry cheese danish. Suck my dick you greasy drunk bastard!
Good for you! And now I am majorly craving cherry cobbler with ice cream on top, one of my favorite desserts. Might have to add it to tomorrow’s menu…
Sorry to be a bad influence! Enjoy — I sure enjoyed my delightful meal of crap!
Sometimes a meal of crap is just what’s needed after a day of crap. Or a day of joy. Either works. 🙂
Yay I double-like this shit! But what the heck’s a danish cheese cherry?
It’s a cake with cheese and cherries inside. I don’t know why it’s called a danish — I need to look that up!
Oh, it sound like the Danish flag!
That drunk asshole is in for a world of hurt, I’m thinking. And I looooove Entenmann’s cherry cheese danish! You really do need to write about all of these people you encounter, Sandee–your stories are funny as shit.
Also, how was dinner?? 🙂
Thanks for the compliment about my stories — coming from you it means a lot! The dinner was the best I’ve had in the last few days!
Aww, you’re so nice. And I’m envious of your dinner—those sorts of decadent meals are the best!!
Mmm. . . cherry cheese danish.
I occasionally have pie for breakfast (it’s got fruit in it, so why not). Cherry cheese danish and Doritos sounds great (not so big on ginger cookies). Now I wish I’d gone out and gotten those pumpkin muffins I’ve been craving. You are a bad influence.
Fibroids are fun, too. I had a hysterectomy last year to get rid of the two giant ones I had. Lost almost ten pounds. Gained most of it back eating things like pumpkin muffins and cherry cheese danish. Don’t care.
That’s the key “Dont care!” I’m ‘fortunate I don’t have any symptoms from mine, they’re just huge — but they tell they’ll shrink soon in menopause. It’s great! This is a very common thing for woman.
I hope they do shrink. They’re so freaking common, know at least two other people who’ve had hysterectomies at least in part because of the fibroids (but they had serious symptoms). Mine were just so big they were crowding all my other organs. I had heartburn all the time.
Wow PM! I hope you’re free of symptoms now.
ohhh, he should have been knocked off his butt
I think he was managing to do that himself with his alcoholism…
Yeah! How dare you….you…you….meany!
let a girl eat her goddamn cake in peace.
Yes, he was pretty rude, rude and drunk…