…come up with a better way to scan a woman’s breast for cancer! I went back for a second scanning today because I have natural imperfections let’s just say. I dreaded it. For the first mammogram over a week ago I was inspired to write “The Sloan Kettering Titty Smashing Machine…” This time I’m just crying out for a better way!
Thanks goodness I don’t have cancer.
The poor technician doing the mammogram began sweating. I felt sorry for her. I’ve never had that thing cranked up so tight — “Fuck!” I yelled. The woman looked troubled. I felt bad. “Are you okay?” I ask. Look at me all still concerned for somebody else after being tortured. “Doing this all day to women’s breasts must be hard,” I said. I asked her if it was hard to watch women in pain. She nodded. I apologized for cursing and thanked her. She went out to get the doctor’s opinion and told me to have a seat. I might have to have another scanning, she said. Great, I thought. This time I’ll take it like a man.
Yup, that’s what she had to do. I took it like a man. I thought sick thoughts — Some people pay good money to have this kind of pain inflicted on them. I flipped it around, see? And gosh darnit it worked!
Thank goodness indeed. Glad all is great,I honestly didn’t know mammograms were painful
I’ve had to have them about every year (which can cause cancer I’ve heard — ha!) because my mom had it but she’s fine. Just had a lump removed. She was taking a hormone and they think that might have caused it. This was the only time out of all these years that’s it’s been painful — they normally aren’t.
When you go for a mammogram next year, ask for an automated whole breast ultrasound if the original mammogram is difficult. Talk to you doc about it. I’ve seen some news stories recently that it helps for women with dense breast tissue. And good for you for taking like a woman (a man could NOT have handled the pain).
Thanks PM! I will definitely inquire about that! I don’t think a man would be able to handle that — indeed no!
Oh, someone please do!!!!
I’m appealing to all the young aspiring female scientist/engineers to work on this!
Let’s start campaigning in elementary schools. You don’t want to have to go through this when you grow boobs? Become a scientist and invent a better way…
That’s a great tagline! I’m totally down for this!
Thank you for the giggles, as always!
Anytime Jill, anytime!
yeah, with all this technology, it seems they could find a scan good enough to see through a boob without mashing it flat in the machine. It don’t make sense. I think they make money off the videos they film of us in boob pain.
Love it Carla! — “make money off …videos…of…boob pain.” Ahahahaa! Yeah!
man, I am not looking forward to my next one. such crap.
Isn’t it though?! Try not to curse through it like I did! I think I upset the technician who was only doing her job…
Imagine if men had to have their private parts squeezed and smashed to screen for cancer? Then they’d be saying, “Take it like a woman,” because we women are very familiar with all of these sadistic screens. Glad yours was okay.
That’s true Carrie, I’m sure they would! Thanks Carrie!
You’d think they’d have a better way of doing this after all this time. You know that if men needed screening for something that involved turning their wangs into pancakes, they’d be all over making a new screening technique.
I know! I think about this all the time. I asked about men who have breast cancer — if they get mammograms — the tech said that they do put them in the same machine! Ouch! But I guess not enough get it to make an impact on the technology. SSG and I are going to the elemetary schools to get the little girls inspired to become scientist/engineers to come up with something better!
Yes! You must.
Glad you are okay. I need to get a scan, and I’ve been putting it off for a year. Gotta go. Bu who wants to go through that?
Thanks Jennifer! Good luck.