…come up with a better way to scan a woman’s breast for cancer! I went back for a second scanning today because I have natural imperfections let’s just say. I dreaded it. For the first mammogram over a week ago I was inspired to write “The Sloan Kettering Titty Smashing Machine…” This time I’m just crying out for a better way!
Thanks goodness I don’t have cancer.
The poor technician doing the mammogram began sweating. I felt sorry for her. I’ve never had that thing cranked up so tight — “Fuck!” I yelled. The woman looked troubled. I felt bad. “Are you okay?” I ask. Look at me all still concerned for somebody else after being tortured. “Doing this all day to women’s breasts must be hard,” I said. I asked her if it was hard to watch women in pain. She nodded. I apologized for cursing and thanked her. She went out to get the doctor’s opinion and told me to have a seat. I might have to have another scanning, she said. Great, I thought. This time I’ll take it like a man.
Yup, that’s what she had to do. I took it like a man. I thought sick thoughts — Some people pay good money to have this kind of pain inflicted on them. I flipped it around, see? And gosh darnit it worked!