Somebody please…

 

 

…come up with a better way to scan a woman’s breast for cancer!  I went back for a second scanning today because I have natural imperfections let’s just say.  I dreaded it.  For the first mammogram over a week ago I was inspired to write  “The Sloan Kettering Titty Smashing Machine…”  This time I’m just crying out for a better way!

Thanks goodness I don’t have cancer.

The poor technician doing the mammogram began sweating.  I felt sorry for her.  I’ve never had that thing cranked up so tight — “Fuck!”  I yelled.  The woman looked troubled.  I felt bad.  “Are you okay?”  I ask.  Look at me all still concerned for somebody else after being tortured.  “Doing this all day to women’s breasts must be hard,” I said.  I asked her if it was hard to watch women in pain.  She nodded.  I apologized for cursing and thanked her.   She went out to get the doctor’s opinion and told me to have a seat.  I might have to have another scanning, she said.  Great, I thought.  This time I’ll take it like a man.

Yup, that’s what she had to do.  I took it like a man.  I thought sick thoughts — Some people pay good money to have this kind of pain inflicted on them.  I flipped it around, see?  And gosh darnit it worked!