The Morals of a Rabid Squirrel

Published June 2, 2012 by Sandee

I hate gossip – okay so let me not be holier than thou – I don’t quite like gossip and talking bad about people for sport.  It appears that gossip and such is all some people can come up with to discuss.  This is the only conversation that they can muster.  Maybe they think it makes their lives seem interesting — being a receptacle of “juicy” hearsay dresses up their own dull lives.  They imagine people saying, “Look at all the fancy things she knows!  She’s soooo interesting!”

At work I received some gossip this morning.  I got off my high horse and listened attentively, reminding myself that I’m not perfect – why, there were moments when I’ve uttered something only realizing later that it was actually gossip!  So I listened and listened, said bye, bye and had a remembrance.

I worked with a woman once whom I loved loved loved.  Turns out some people there thought she was a hag shrew.  “I don’t want to hear what you’re saying to me about her, bad office gossiper you! – After all, I like the hag shrew,” I told them.  More came to tell me about the sins of the hag shrew – “Okay, whatever.  I love her, fuck off!”  I said.  Another came and said, “I want you to displace her – I think she’s a know-it-all and a big fat hag shrew!”  “Oh that’s so awful and mean,” I replied.  Finally, another came and said to me, “She waits for you to be surrounded by people then makes her attack to make you look bad!”  “Shoo, shoo,” I said.  “Oh but just you wait and see, she’ll do it to you!” Said this shatterer of my illusions.

The shatterer of my illusions was right.  The hag shrew turned on me like a rabid squirrel.  She did every goddamned thing they said she’d do and more!  This was a church where I worked and this hag shrew used to be a fucking nun!  If you need anything more to shatter your vision of organized religion I give you permission to use this as an example.  The church was nothing more than a corporation and the senior minister was a CEO.

Ah well, the moral of the story is, well there are a few morals to this story.  Number A, never trust a rabid squirrel; number B, never ever befriend a hag shrew nun – and number C, never get your morals from a goddamned church!

18 comments on “The Morals of a Rabid Squirrel

  • Shame on Ms. Hag Shrew…it’s people like them that give sincere church members a bad name. Truth is there are so many of them everywhere…hiding behind religion and other masks. And to think you were standing up for her and all…

  • I don’t like gossip either, which is probably more a reflection of the fact that I’m always too lost in my own world to notice it rather than that I’m above it. Sorry your friend turned. That’s what happens with rabies, I guess. By the way, I like your numbering system in the last paragraph (Number A…)

  • That’s one of the things I hated about church as a kid…the gossip. Not that being an anti-theist now does me much good in shielding me from the stupid…office gossip can be at least just as bad. Small minds, I tells ya.

  • Ah well, the moral of the story is, well there are a few morals to this story. Number A, never trust a rabid squirrel; number B, never ever befriend a hag shrew nun – and number C, never get your morals from a goddamned church!

    I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!! I would love to take this part and post on my FB page as my quote of the day…unfortunately, some of my FB’ers include a rabid squirrel, hag shrew nun, and a CEO…oops I mean minister.

  • I got turned on like this once, too. It still confuses me, because I was nothing but nice to her. People like that just can’t be happy unless they have “enemies” who are responsible for anything bad that happens to them.

    • You know PM I think we should still uphold the principle of being decent, kind people. I don’t let negative incidents shape the way I treat people in the future. I always want to be the same, as well as open to new friendships. I refuse to let these things turn me into a cynic.

      • Amen to that. I still believe in being nice to the people I work with, even if I can’t stand them. It’s a little easier right now, since I don’t actually work with anyone, but the principle is what matters. And even though I’m one of those loners with an ipod on the street, I try to not and smile at people whenever possible. E.M. Forster said it best, “Only connect.”

  • Churches can be the worst, especially when ‘churchy’ people blame their bad behavior on God’s will or the good of the congregation or whatever. My mother used to work for a church, and they fired her horrifically, with no warning, and then strove to blacken our family name as a bunch of trouble makers even though it was only my mother they had a problem with. They really behaved shamefully, all while praying aloud and putting their noses in the air. I think it’s a bureaucrat thing, but the film of holiness they cover themselves with makes it seem so much more awful.

    • I’m sorry that this happened to your family — I hate hearing stuff like that. I agree that the ‘film of holiness’ makes these actions even worse. If spiritual leaders acknowledged being human and were humble in their teachings, maybe they would attract more souls. When they’re up on the pulpit looking down, so-to-speak, it makes them appear three times as hypocritical when they don’t infuse their day-to-day, work-a-day actions with more compassion.

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