The picture of my behind that my sister took when I visited looked just fine.
Here she is with her husband:
I wanted her to take one so that I could see how fat it was after eating different kinds of cake. I said maybe I’d post a picture of it. But since my butt looked fine I ate more cake. I only wanted to post it if it was huge, to shame myself, in front of everybody. So now I don’t have to show it to you.
But the real reason I won’t show it to you is because my hair was stone busted! I wear an afro these days and I give afros a bad name in that butt picture. I don’t want the people who read this who want afros to think that they all come out like that.
Here’s a better picture with one of my fake sons and me during the visit where you can’t see how busted my hair was:
Wait a cotton pickin’ minute! How’d that get in there?!
[Deleted the picture of Steve Harvey dressed as woman holding ‘Steve Harvey’ baby with mustache — didn’t want to get sued. Too bad you didn’t catch it earlier. It was hilarious.]
Here it is now — this is me and both of my fake sons:
There wasn’t any cake there but there were cookies, Cheetos, popcorn, Fritos and ice cream. I ate them because my sister’s husband bought them special for my visit. I ate them instead of dinner. I don’t like food anyway. Food’s a burden. I had fun there.