“Mona! C’mon, get outta here like this!”
“I’m working dammit — can’t you see.”
“You can’t sit at your desk wearing that tiara, butt naked.”
“Why? I do good work and I come in on time, you fucker.”
“It’s against the law! I’m calling the police!”
“Ahahahahaha! You fuckers always get your panties in a bunch. I’m a goddamned good worker who produces good work — I don’t fight coworkers and I always recycle.”
“You think this is a nudist colony?”
“No, do you? You think it’s prison — you think it’s a tribunal — you think it’s a dictatorship — you think it’s your own planet. Kiss my naked ass you sap-sucking son of a bitch!”
“You won’t do it because it ain’t in the protocol. That’s the one thing I hate about you, Fred!”
“Mona, for chrissakes people are coming, please put some clothes on!”
“Mo-naah, for chrissakes people are coming, please put some clothes on. Wah wah, waaahhh! I want my momma — I want my bobo — I want my caca — I want my pee pee — I want my doo doo!”
“You sicken me!”
A tiara is know to improve ones quality of work 😉 …not sure about the nakedness.
Indeed — it does something to the blood pressure in the brain, wearing a tiara!
😉 I’m gonna get myself a tiara one of the days. I love the idea of biking around on this island wearing a tiara.
I bought my sister a pink one with Swarosvki crystals and she wore it to work on her birthday, on the train and everything. You should so do that — tiara’s and cake — they make a girl feel so very special! I would love to see a photo of you biking around with one on!
First off, I woke up this morning and thought, I missed her post last night…or maybe she didn’t post…maybe I was too drunk lol. Reading this now, I’m glad i missed it last night, cos I have just laughed my big head off lol. The last paragraph is epic funny, I can just picture you doing it LOL!!! Are you on twitter? I swear I am not a stalker lol…great post dear, great post lol
Thanks BB! Sad to say I could picture me doing it too! Thanks mega much for being a great audience again. You know I am on twitter but I haven’t tweeted anything yet. I’m a Luddite — my sister told me to go on fb, to start blogging and to start twittering, so I have to warm up to actually doing it. But I do have an account and a couple of followers! Thanks again!
I have wanted a tiara for ages. I’d look so awesome at work nursing patients with a tiara. I’d be Princess Nurse Carrie. I am also not sure about the nakedness though. There has to be some health and safety implications there!!
Yeah, I guess, about the health and safety implications, huh… I love “Princess Nurse Carrie” though!
Yeah I think Queen Nurse Carrie is a bit much, but Princess Nurse Carrie would be acceptable…….
Teehehehehee! Queen Nurse Carrie now that’s way over the top — indeed!
Wait a tick…I don’t recall that conversation…
Oh too funny “Fred!” See what a night of tipsy V-logging does to ya? Ya get amnesia and totally forget a conflict with a naked, tiara-wearing, recycling, insubordinate employee — Ahahahaha!
Good thing at the time I didn’t ask to borrow your stapler. I…I don’t know what that means. LOL
Lol!! Everybody knows ‘may I borrow your stapler’ is a euphemism for “I’m going to kill you!”
The irreverence of your blog makes me happy every time I read it. Thank you 🙂 Now put some clothes on, you aboriginal-in-an-office!!! (JK – I hate clothes, they’re bloody confining!
Thanks MM! I hate clothes too! Really I do! This post is a tribute to John Waters and the theater of the ridiculous. I thought of his movie ‘Desperate Living’ when I typed this. It was a definite influence. I imagine the characters ‘Mona’ and ‘Fred’ yelling the dialogue the way they yell everything in that movie!
OH, I’ve never seen it!!!
Oh it’s a mess! If you want to totally escape into the absurd — check it out.
Sitting buck naked writing at the kitchen table wearing a tiara.. Haha! Hubby would love it! Not so sure about the 16 year old, think l’d get an “OMG!” Lol
Yes, Claire — this is only recommended for the office of the absurd!
Makes me want a tiara!! 🙂
I’m tellin’ ya — it makes a difference!
I tried to work butt naked at mid ask wearing nothing but a tiara, but HR told me I couldn’t 😦
*my desk (Autocorrect FAIL)
It ain’t right I tell you, it ain’t right! We oughta protest, all of us and come to work naked!