Why would I want to order checks with flowers, balloons or pink pussy cats on them? These checks are going to people who harass me for money every month! Some of them hike up their interest rates when they feel like it, and as we speak they’re trying to figure out new ways to screw me.
“Well, would you like your name and address printed on your checks Ma’am?”
“Shit naaww! Why do I want to make it easy for these motherfuckers to find me? Let ‘em look me up in the goddamned filing cabinet – make ‘em work! Listen, print me up these checks, black with skulls and crossbones on them, and in the area where my name and address is supposed to go, put Die Motherfucker Diiiieee-yah!”
1800ukillme 
I almost choked from laughter when I read this earlier…
Oh Boomiebol, you don’t know how much I appreciate you telling me this! Sometimes I worry I might be to dark! Thanks! Heck — I laughed when I was writing it!
It is funny…i read it about 3 times…well done!!!
You have officially made my night!
Well, you are one lucky gal. Daisy fully choked.
This post should have a BIG warning at the top: DO NOT READ WHILE EATING OF DRINKING
Why, thank you Daisy! I’m glad I’m not the only one who found it funny!
The Bear says Daisy needs to be more careful when reading awesome posts 😉
Lol!!!!
right? 😉
Aw, the Bear is a caring companion! My post is ‘awesome’? — Yay!! SCB thanks D&B!!
“Why do I want to make it easy for these motherfuckers to find me? Let ‘em look me up in the goddamned filing cabinet – make ‘em work!”
SO FUNNY!
Thanks J&T!
Daisy & the Bear concur!
Daisy and the Bear are the best, as is their blog!
aaaaaaaaw
Thank you so much ❤
lol, that is a great idea!!! I don’t write checks anymore but I never got those stupid fluffy nicey nicey checks. Sending people my money aint no sweet gesture lol. I luv ya!
It’s true — sending people checks — why waste money on extras like pretty pictures! I actually do pay most bills online, but there are a couple of places where I can’t do that, so after a year or more of going to the bank to get checks just for these two ‘payees’, I decided to go on ahead and get a box of checks. I didn’t order skulls and cross bones or die motherfucker die, but I did order black checks — I can’t wait to see what they look like!
sooo funneee! your humor is spot-on…would love if we could ‘customize’ them…will wait to read about the black ones (and reactions) when you get them!
Thanks Roxie! I’m glad you got the humor in that one. Yes, I’m excited about the black ones!
Maybe a compromise…after the skull and Die Motherfucker Die you could add a kitten playing with a ball of yarn.
Yeah, like, schizo checks — ‘I hate you! I’m sorry I love you…’ lol!
I want to order checks that has a stamp on it saying “Warning: this WILL bounce. So long, suckers!”
Oh Fred, that’s funny! Ahahahhaa!! I like it!
Haha… Funny post.
I had to read it twice to get it. No, I’m not usually that slow 🙂 , it’s just that we call them ‘cheques’ here, so I was trying to figure out what checks are. Lol. Maybe my brain is a little tired too. I shoulda known it’s the Brit/American thing…
You guys get to order custom-made cheques? Cool! I’m sure they don’t get that many people ordering them black. I’d love to see that! What ink shade are you planning to use with that? Gold, glitter…?
Thanks for taking the time to read this ELB! Thanks for stopping by! We’ll see what I actually get — we had a bad connection — the customer service person and me so it’ll be interesting to see if I actually get black checks. Yes, we do get to custom order them. I think the black checks probably have a paled out area to write in… In the future, I’ll be looking into skulls and crossbones, however — lol!
Reading it again and almost choking again…
Ahahahahaha!! This is the only choking I can say I appreciate!
No kidding! 😉
Reblogged this on Summer Solstice Musings and commented:
Listen, print me up these checks, black with skulls and crossbones on them, and in the area where my name and address is supposed to go, put Die Motherfucker Diiiieee-yah!”
You are so sweet for reblogging this SSG! I’m glad I’m not the only one sitting up here laughing at my own posts!! Much appreciated!
I didn’t have any choice. It was too damn good not to 🙂
You just made my night!
Reblogged this on veggiewitch and commented:
This is awesome! If I could get checks like this, I absolutely would. ♥
Thanks VW! I think I’ll look into it — if I can get them — I’ll let you know — tee hee!
My pleasure. =0)
Thank you for the giggle. ♥
That is spit out my soy milk funny. I didn’t know you could get black checks. Mine have pictures of sad animals from the Humane Society. I want the people I send chcks to feel guily that I have to send my money to them and not to the sad animals.
Thanks CFR! I like ‘spit out my soy milk funny’! At least you have a worthy cause — I have no cause, no worth, just bills! lol!!
Reblogged this on Meizac and commented:
Aannndddd….following up on that last reblog….
Many thanks again Meizac! Thanks for stopping by!
I think I just wet my pants. Too funny.
Thanks Jennifer! It’s great when I can connect — I don’t feel like such a fool laughing at my own jokes then! lol! I appreciate the laughter!